<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ February 20, 2005, 07:24 PM: Message edited by: New&ImprovedMarylandLady ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by
I should have stuck to plan B like I said. Now he doesn't take me seriously.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">That's because you break your own word.

Right now (sorry) I don't take you seriously either.

Why am I saying something so "mean"?

To shake you into looking at the reality you create with your non-decision making, word-breaking inconsistent behavior.

You cannot be taken seriously by anyone while you ~say one thing~ and ~do the opposite~.

Your husband has NO CHOICE but to disbelieve you are serious!

It's like you build a fort in a treehouse, and then help your enemy destroy your fort by sawing the tree down at the base... YOURSELF.

You cannot expect any progress in this situation until you learn to control yourself.

THE GOOD NEWS is .... you can begin right this minute. Every day you make the decision to say what you mean and to mean what you say.

No more deja moo !!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> That's the sense that you've met this bull before !

Pep

Pep I totally agree. I have backed down in the past because he would come and say different things and I would believe him over and over again. But after being humiliated and disrespected just for the OW's benefit enough is enough.

I am standing my ground. He needs help. Something is wrong to be able to do what he is doing and not even give a crap. And something has to be wrong with the OW for settling for a man so willing to hurt one to be with another.

If he comes back one day willing to get help and do NC then I am willing to listen. Until then I cannot take this anymore.

Sorry SML,

I can't take you seriously either..your behavior was so very..um..odd.

Let's break it down so that next time..you'll have better aim..OK?

Alright..first off..you say inyour PBL that you are doing this to retain your love for him..yes?

Then you flip him off.

Right there you are sending mixed signals and communicating TO ME that this was a game..a manipulative move and not sincere in the least.

Then..how many phone calls did the two of you share that day? Let's count.

You make it about ten minutes and then you call him .

So..what is your plan here? Is this the sort of "No contact" that you want H and OW to have?

OK..I count 8 phone calls that you either accepted or initiated on the FIRST DAY. Eight at a minimum.

So, I must ask..what precisely IS your intention here? Is your word worth anything? When you make a promise do you keep it? Are YOU honest?

I ask you this not to be cruel..but because you are about to be very cruelly tried and you had better know yourself and your heart and your mind and where you stand or else you can expect to fail miserably.

All is not lost..almost no one gets it right on the first try. After all, you are as addicted to him and he is to her..

So what do you need to do in order to protect yourself..from yourself?

What will you do differently now that you KNOW that your are incapable of relying on your willpower? Now that you know that your plan had better be flawless ..it had better be nearly able to sustain itself even if your execution is occasionally subject to human frailty.

Noodle

O-k so you messed up. Don't we all? I know I didn't stick to my diet yesterday and I didn't get on the treadmill. But today is another day and I'm getting ready to go run now. So what is your plan for today?