NIM...
My 8 yr. old son said those exact words to me. He told me that he will take care of me and that his daddy told him to protect me.
I cried my eyes out. For one...I cried because my 8 yr. old son shouldn't have to carry that burden of "taking care" of me. I just don't think it's fair that my WH put all of that pressure on my son.
If my WH was so concerend about me then he shouldn't have left to be with OW. It just kills me what they do to their children.

My kids went to preschool at a place that were most of the kids came from traditional 2 parents families. One year, the kids had an ongoing game/playacting where the kids got married. They'd have big wedding processions with a bride, groom and all the trimmings. It was really cute.

I was telling a friend about this. Her kid went to a preschool where most of the kids came from divorced families. What game did they play? You got it, DATING!

Kids mimic so much of what they see.

SS your post reminded me of my Dad. He always says those exact words. We get lost then he panics. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Tree,
It is painful. And I hope one day they open their eyes to what they are doing to them. And treat them like they are suppose to be treated.

NIM,

I'm sorry that you and the children are in such pain <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> . Anyone that says it doesn't affect the children are out of their mind nuts <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> It took every ounce of faith NOT to hate my ex and ow. The things my girls went through were horrible. There was a time when my oldest was having terrible migraines, she would get them and they last 3 days, got sick, in pain, etc. I took her to the ER and her dad said he couldn't come because something was wrong with his car. OK use the ow's. I couldn't go into the room with her because at that time I was pregnant with my son. I feel so bad everytime I remember her being so scared, thank God for the sweet nurse.

Hugs to you and your children

In my post earlier I mentioned that lately my stepson seems to have a lot of anger.

Lately we have been having problems with him in school. Last week he got written up for kicking a boy during recess. Later we got a call from the principal stating that the boys parents took him to the ER and the boy was released with deep bruising of the adominal area. My stepson is 9 and is underweight. We were shocked that he could do that.

Well today I get a note from the teacher. At recess he slapped another child in the face. I asked him why. He told me because he was just playing. I continued talking to him about the incident and he admitted that the boy made him angry. He has been told over and over to keep his hands to himself yet lately he cannot seem to maintain self control. We have also stressed that if someone is bothering him he should tell the teacher. We have had other problems in the past but only with him talking and not getting his work done.

I notice at home he gets very angry lately for no reason. Even at me. The next second he is very loving. Lately if he doesn't get what he wants he raises his voice and argues and sometimes goes stomping off. Maybe it's just his age but I also think that he is dealing with other issues. He never has been one to really open up about what he is thinking or feeling. I think what his mom did to him is affecting him along with his Dad not being around like he should be.

I am sad. I am hurting for my children. Enough is enough already. But I am trying to be strong for them because I am really all they have at the moment.

Oh I can relate. Can the school have him talk to the school counselor? I know the schools around here have groups for anger, making friends, when there is problems at home. Your SS really needs lots of love and attention, he needs to feel special. Even after xh and I divorce the affects are there.

When he moved ow and her kids up here my #2 dd had some MAJOR behavior problems. The school tested her and found her to be in a depression, at one counselor they tried to say ADD but I didn't think so. After 2 years of the school's help and taking DD to counseling she is FINALLY changing for the better. Dr. Phil even has stated no wonder a child is acting out they are under too much stress!!!

Go figure, DD's behavior gets better and now she is having pre puberty issues, talk about sassy mouth <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Hang in there sweetie, it is so hard to deal with our pain and the pain of our children!!! My heart really breaks for your ss

Your SS has every right to be a bundle of anger right now. He's got the new sibling thing going with his new little sister. That's good for a few points on the stress meter. School doesn't seem to be going his way. Then his dad has abandoned him. He must be in the red zone now. Honor his anger. It's better to be mad and express it in the right manner than to let it simmer undercover. If you can manage it, get him into some physical activity. In the old days, they'd send him out to chop firewood. I'd stay away from team sports. Too much cooperation and comparison involved. Martial Arts is good for mental discipline as a physical outlet.

Try wrestling. DS#2 is a wrestler and it's done amazing things for him. He was considered a very bad, very physical kid when he was in elementary school. He was often in trouble. Well, a lot in trouble. Wrestling has channeled his energy. There are lots of inexpensive programs for kids around. Some programs start kids as young as 3. (Meaning you could possibly send both boys to the same activity.) Wrestling is a great sport for small, underweight kids. Generally at a practice, there is a lot of physical conditioning, agility drills and live wrestling. They learn strategy, fairness and discipline. A good wrestler cannot be stupid. One thing that wrestling has that other sports don't is a lot of close physical contact. No helmets, no pads, no distance. The kids roll around on the floor like puppies together, they touch each other. The coaches have to hold the boys, cradle the boys to teach them moves. There is a point when boys move away from their mother's touch but they still need it. Most of the wrestling coaches I know are like teddy bears. They are strong, patient, good men. They nuture the boys. A few can be screamers and even though they mean well, I'd stay away from them. Wrestling is a good way to build self-esteem and strength. It's not for everybody but it's worth a try.

As I type this, DS#2 and DD are heading off to a kids wrestling workshop at the high school. DS is helping teach but DD wanted to wrestle. She's got some girlfriends there but she can take down most of the boys. Both kids feel strong and proud. They will come home very, very tired.

In my book, that's a really good thing.

I think that is a great idea. He has been asking about doing Martial Arts for months now. I will check on that tomorrow. The local community college offers lots of classes for children for under $50.

My stepson is now very sick. I think he has the flu. He got in the car after school saying his tummy hurt really bad. Course his tummy or something always hurts when he knows he is bringing home a bad report. He ate something little but couldn't keep it down. I think he has the flu. I tried to give him some medication but he ended up throwing that back up five seconds later. I hate to see one of my kids sick. I would rather be sick then see them like that.

My daughter has been very cranky for the last three days. I don't know if she can sense my sadness or not. She never cries but for the last three days she has been crying contantly. I feel stressed, sad and alone in all of this. BUT I don't need him if he doesn't WANT to be here.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> My stepson seems to have a lot of anger lately. And is having trouble at school again. He will often tell me that if his Dad and me separate that he wants to live with me. I ask him why... He says that I never leave like his Dad does and that I take care of him. He also said last week that it doesn't feel like he has a Dad anymore.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Same here. Mine is doing homework at home and not turning it in at school, being the clown class, etc. His mom is not around.
She Told him was picking him up last Thursday and never call nor showed up. Daddy is over the road most of the time. He is aware of what is going on between dad and I. I asked him if he would go with daddy if daddy had to move out of the house and he said NO. I love him as my own. It hurts seeing he has gone through so much in his young life. I explain to him it has nothing to do with him or nothing that he has done wrong and that is just grown up stuff, but I am sure he does not understands that fully yet.

Kids are so much more aware than we ever imagine.

When my wife and I were going through our crap, my daughter (5 at the time) said this to me on the phone.

"Daddy, there is an invisible string between us that will stretch but will never break."

Tears me up typing it now. One, because of how aware she she was of the situation and how she was reacting to it. Two, because she tried to make me feel better.

I would like to say the apple didn't fall too far from the tree but....

God bless our kids

Doug

My middle son (4) is speech delayed so pretty much everything he says is so cute- however he came home from his Speech based preschool today where they are planning stuff for Easter <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> already- and he took out the Cocoa Puffs and told me he could not eat them anymore because they are "rabbit poop" and he was being dead serious. Too cute.

My youngest who just turned 2 decided last week that he was too big to pee and poop in his diaper so he takes off his diaper and puts his pants back on- he has gone a whole week with only one accident! Why am I posting that on this thread? Well yesterday he came running up to me and kept saying- Mommy I pooped- well concerned because he was not wearing a diaper I asked what he had done with it (thinking he pooped on the floor) he said "my butt put it in the big boy potty" I said it did! then what happened? "It went swimming"-- too cute!!
Okay maybe only for me- but I am very proud of him I hope he keeps this up- no kids in diapers- what would I do???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

KMEJ
That is some funny stuff. It took forever to get my son to poop in the potty. He was so afraid. He still is at times and will hold it for days. Then he will rush me out of the bathroom saying "get out it's gonna stink."

Everyday he comes up with something off the wall funny.

It was wonderful not having to buy diapers. They are so expensive. Right now I am lucky because I got many packs at my shower so I haven't really had to buy much.

When my daughter was learning to use the toilet around Christmas time. And I had apparently been playing a CD that had The Hallelujah Chorus on it.

She finished one of her stinky jobs and, clearly, as she left the bathroom, she said, "Hallelujah, big shooey."

It was even funnier when, a few days later, we got to church and, as soon as we sat down, she audibly said it again.

And today my son told me what he wants his teachers go give up for Lent.....homework.