I own Survining the affair, HNHN and Love Busters. The problem is WH does not have time to read. WH is a truck driver. He asked for help understanding what he is feeling. He has been home but the withdraw symptoms are too much for him to handle. We do not have money for MC. The books I read and the website here have helped me lots as a BS but how about him.

I ordered (by his request)HNHN in audio tape so he can listen to it while he drives. Not sure if the tapes will be as good as the book because I have never had a book on tape before. Dont know if its the same. Not sure if that is a correct book for him either since it will not address withdraw as much as Surviving the Affair.

Let me know if it will be something good for him in your experience. He is aware about how OW is just a fantasy (he keeps saying it) but he is upset that he can not break her from his mind. I wish all the books come in audio tape so I have to choose from but I dont. I have not recieved the order yet and I can withhold it when it comes if the suggestion here is that it is not a good one for him as the WS.

I know it will help him see how it started and how can we work in our relationship as far as the emotional needs, But somehow, deep inside I am afraid OW may end up having benefits from it too somehow. Also I do not want her knowing about this site if he tells her about the book I am reading and website I am using to get help. It may be used against me later. I may be crazy to feel that way but it is hard to trust the good intentions of him asking for help.

Any suggestions will be appreciated.
Thanks, Love

I just read HN/HN and it is a very good book. It talks about the affair and how thye start. More than a friend. Talks about the deceit ect. It also helps them understand where they have failed with the emotional needs. I have asked my WH to please read this book. Hoping he does. Good luck -Us BS seem to question everything we do don't we?

I haven't read the Not Just Friends book yet myself but from what I've read about it, it sounds like it might be a good one for your WH.

It's a good sign if he's willing to listen to the books on tape.

I understand what you mean about worrying your WH and OW might misapply the info in order to help the affair instead of the marriage.

That fear is what helped me refrain from contacting my WH and trying to tell him things I've learned. Plus I figured if he ever wanted to reconcile he could find the info himself just like I did. He's really destroyed my trust in him to the point that it would take a LOT of consistent effort over an extended period of time (plus a miracle) for me to ever trust him again.