Okay, well I got the phone turned back on. My Mom knows all about everything, and she says "You better do something....what are you going to do if you lose that apartment?" I didn't ask her again to move in there, she already told me no once. What do you mean there has to be more going on there......My Dad isn't supposed to have *stress* because of his heart, and frankly they don't want to deal with it, I don't blame them, I'm 37 years old, I should have this stuff down by now. She said they can't afford to have 4 more people there...more electric, more water, more food..etc, etc.

I was backed up in rent, I paid 700.00 about 2 weeks ago, and I owe 50 more for January, and 650.00 for this month. I told them I'd give them 250.00 this week...and BOOM I got this. I don't know if it's a miscommunication or what, I didn't get the notice until the office was already closed, I have 221.00 total right now that I can give them, but not have another red cent.

I don't know what to do, I'll pray about it I guess....short of that I don't know. I'll call my rental office in the morning and see what's going on. It's not the official eviction thing from the court, it's a notice to leave the premises...whatever the thing they have to send you b4 they evict you. It gives me 4 days to get out. It's not as though I haven't been in contact with them, maybe they tried to call today and heard my phone was also disconnected...I don't know. My Mom paid my phone bill...when I tried to give her the money she said "No, put it towards your rent." She said "If you and Mark are getting back together I wish you'd do it"...thanks Mom...this is the same woman that says it won't be the last time, he'll do it again, etc, etc, but she's now encouraging me to get back with him when she actually thinks I should divorce him.

So I shouldn't tell my WH about the eviction notice?? I'm so confused. I thought I could tell him about financial stuff.....I don't know, what if this is what God is trying to have me do? I don't know for sure.

I'm sorry I was gone so long, my Mom kept me over there forever, made me eat meatloaf...yick.

I don't know I'm so weak I can barely stand it. I did eat, I ate a little meatloaf a little potatoes.

*Sigh*

-Caren

<small>[ February 21, 2005, 06:03 PM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

I'm with ya hon

David

My DD10 didn't call WH all day long, we had no phone, but we were at my Mom's for a long time, and my daughter didn't ask to call her Dad, and I didn't tell her too, so about 10 minutes ago he called her, and talked to her he said "You haven't called me all day" She said "I was at Grandma's" He said "Don't you care about your Dad anymore?" She said "Yes I do, I love you", he said "Don't you need Daddy anymore?" Okay...What is that?!? Don't you need Daddy anymore...Ummmmm you are the one that wanted out of this, you're the one chucking your family for the OW.....what do you think? Do YOU think we still need you?!?!?!

-Caren

Ewww,caren. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Is he trying to lay a guilt trip on your DD now? Gross.

I think you should tell your WH what is going on Caren.This is a serious situation and whether or not you let a mediator do the talking,that's your choice but I would tell him.IMVHO.

O

Caren - You are able to talk to WH about financial matters in Plan B. Do it. Then take some legal action. You can get help. Hang in there.

What the hell do I even say to him? I don't know what to say, just tell him I got an eviction notice? I don't want to blow Plan B...I don't know what I'm doing.

This is just the worst.

I'm going to pray about it, I'll be back a little later.

-Caren

Caren,

I know it is hard, but this "eviction" is just in the first step. In my state, it takes a full six months for an eviction to actually come to pass. And the people who are being evicted can just sit there and not pay a dime of rent in the meantime! Wierd, but true.

Call legal aid to see what your options are on:
Stopping the eviction

Getting WH to pay more than $100 a month
child support.... and alimony

Call social services to see:
If you are eligible for rent assistance,
food stamps, job training. You've paid your
taxes to put this net into place for
people... now it is your turn to let the net
catch YOU for a while.

You can call your husband, but this is the point: if you wind up divorced you'll need to have a plan anyway. Might as well start right now to put one in place.

I know it is hard. Lean on God every step of the way!!!! And talk with your church. Ours has a special ministry just for single moms.

God won't let you down, Caren.

~ Snow

Caren....
Are you out there? Thinking about you!!!
{{{HUGS}}}}}

Caren,

Plan B is not written in stone that you never,EVER can contact the WS again.Many of us have had to break it for one very important reason or another.We have kids,or something goes terribly wrong with the home or financial issues come up,etc.

The siutation you are in now WARRANTS that he knows,if not from you another member of the family or a mediator.Your WH HAS to know how DIRE things are getting and that you may just have to take legal action to get more money or be informed of your rights.At least let him know so he doesn't think you are trying to blindside him.

Please.Unless your WH is unemployed or in some menial job,he SHOULD be giving you more per month to live on than a PALTRY $100 per month,if your lucky!!!!! That is not right.Let him know that you will NOT stand by and accept this any longer.If you have to "take him to court" so be it.Let him know that this is affecting you!

O

*sigh* okay.

This feels like surrender to me though. I guess I'll speak to him tonight, I don't know what I'm gonna say. I guess tell DD10 that I need to talk to him when she's finished....and I'll just tell him, I'll just tell him I got a notice to leave the premises. When I was still in A he knew I went and paid on the rent, but he's never know the state of affairs, I didn't really think it was any of his business.

What if he wants to try to get back with me JUST BECAUSE of this?!?!?! I don't want that.........

-Caren

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CarenMc:
<strong> I don't know why I try, I really have no idea. What the hell's the point? I get kicked when I'm down everytime.

-Caren </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">OK caren:

Please consider these thoughts to change your mind set.

1. EVERYTHING YOU EXPERIENCE TODAY IS THE RESULT OF CHOICES YOU HAVE MADE IN THE PAST

2. YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP YOUR EXCUSES FOR THE BAD THINGS THAT HAVE HAPPENED IN YOUR LIFE.

3. YOU HAVE TO GIVE UP BLAMING

You are down, but remember that ONLY YOU, can help you up.

The follwing is a quote I have hanging in my office to remind me of the way I have to live my life.

"YOu will never be successful as long as you continue to blame someone or something else for your lack of success. If you are gonna be a winner in life you have to acknowledge the truth--it is you who took the actions, thought the thoughts, created the feelings, and made the choices that got you to where you are. It was you" ! --> Wayne Dyer, How to get what you really really really really want .

Now, I don't say this to you because I am an A-hole and am insensitive. Quite the opposite. You can't possibly change your life's outcomes without taking 100% responsibility for your life and taking an ACTIVE role in changing the responses you have had to outcomes you don't like.

I say these things to you, becasue these are the principles that you have to start living by.

Old internal self talk like "I feel like a victim;I feel used; nothing ever seems to work out for me" needs to be REPLACED with "I feel great; I am in control; I can make things happen".

DON't GIVE UP ON YOU !!!!!! IN THE END, YOU ARE ALL YOU GOT GIRL !

CHeers <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

LM

Caren,

You are NOT surrendering.Far from it.You are taking action to protect the lives of yourself and children.This is serious.You are on the cusp of being out on the street,weeks or months with the electricity about to go off.How much worse can it get? I am not sure what you mean by "state of affairs".

You are not asking your WH to come back right now only that financially,you are in trouble and he SHOULD be paying you more than $100 per month.You said he didn't even do that lately.Cmon.He needs a swift kick of reality and that is his WIFE/YOU are not going to allow him to skip out on payment to you and the kids.The OW will have to go without! DOn't just tell him about the notice.Tell him about YOUR NEED for money TO SURVIVE.

doesn't anyone else wonder how carenmc was posting when her phone was supposedly shut off?

I think I'll tell him that I would like to meet him someplace neutral to talk tommorrow after he gets off work, as I have to go to my group meeting during the day.

I'll have to write everything down so I don't screw it up. At least if it's a public place it won't be to out of control.

He only makes 7 dollars an hour, unless they gave him a raise since the new bosses took over. So he's not gonna be able to do much, but I'm at least going to let him know what's going on, and that I don't have the funds to prevent it from happening.

Thanks everybody...guess no one ever promised me a rose garden...eh?

-Caren

Caren,

Being in a difficult financial situation myself, I can understand how you feel.

I don't have much advice, just wanted to let you know you're in my prayers.

FIM

okiedokie,

What IS your point??? THIS is your first post?? Read the concepts and move on.

O

Thank you October, and okie...I have a cable modem for the computer...it will probably be shut off before too long too....daughter initiated that bill before I was in so deep, she planned on paying it herself, but the REAL bills have kept her from really keeping up on it.

Thanks for picking THAT out of all of my posts though.

-Caren

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by okiedokie:
<strong> doesn't anyone else wonder how carenmc was posting when her phone was supposedly shut off? </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yea but now I am wondering why you are asking?
So Okiedokie, what's your story?

L.

{{{{carenmc}}}}
Hey girl, I cant begin to imagine what your going thru with your financial trouble. At least my H took care of my DD and me while he was acting like a [censored], I guess i should be thankful for that. I like someones idea about bartending, I thought about that myself when i was considering telling H to shove it and just ending my marriage rather than let him continue to try to control me with his money. You look adorable in your picture, im sure you'd be good at that, with your sense of humor and your wisecracks <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> , you have made me laugh plenty of times. Im pulling for you girl. Go out there and knock em dead!

As you can see, I don't post very often.

I know what okiedokie meant and I am agreeing.

Perhaps CAREN is feeding us a little bull to keep her thread interesting; some truth and some trolling. JMO

What are the odds that the phone, cell phone, and an eviction notice the same day?

Plus if her bloke of a Husband is ONLY MAKING 7 DOLLARS AN HOUR how can he possibly pay the expensive rent, utilities, gas, groceries, insurance and everything else? High speed cable Internet alone is around 40.00 versus ten dollar dial up, that would take him working nearly 6 hours just to pay for that.
I smell something here!

Caren, if your story is true, you need to be willing to change and become frugal: cheaper place to live...stop the movies,(library videos are FREE) the 20.00 haircuts and so on. (there are a lot of activities that are Free and Fun.)

Just my opinion, I may be the ONLY ONE that feels this way.
Jake