Mimi is right Caren. This Mimi is so much stronger than the one we first met. And that confidence you hear in her posts? Wasnt there when we first met her.

But, I am willing to bet, that confidence will never be shaken again. She has been tested by fire!

Also, change the name of this thread. Your life does not suck. God is taking you to somewhere awesome. You are on a journey.

I have a little secret for you...I will share here just for you. You see, I can see the future. Do you believe me? Well, I can in one case. I know how this ALL ends. Satan loses!!

You see, it is like playing a football game in the second quarter when you already saw the future and the outcome of the game. And since you already know that you as a Christian win, shouldnt you play the game accordingly? Caren, in the end...you win. We both know that. So how are you going to play the second half of this game (your life)?

In His arms.

<small>[ March 05, 2005, 07:57 AM: Message edited by: Mortarman ]</small>

All I have time for right this minute is a quick thank you, I have to run and pick up DD10 from school, and then I have to jump in the shower....but I will be back on here in a little while to post a proper response.

Mortar, you're always with the making me cry....for some reason your faith in me when I don't have any overcomes the wellbutrin and I can actually cry...I don't even think this is sadness when I cry I think it's relief.

-Caren

I know the feeling Caren!!

Really, my faith isnt with you so much. I dont REALLY know you, except thru our interactions here. But I do know Jesus. He is a friend of mine. And He is a friend of yours. That makes us both family. And since Jesus has worked in my life, I know what He can do in yours.

So my faith is in Him and what He is capable of doing. 1+1=1 All you have to do is know that and follow Him.

Remeber Peter on the sea, when he walked on water? A lot of people dont know it but there have been two human beings that have walked on water. Everyone knows about Jesus doing it. But Peter also did.

How? Did Peter EVER have the power to walk on water? Not by himself. But, when he was looking in Jesus eyes, concentrating on Him, following Him...Peter had the same power Jesus has at that moment. Of course, as you read on, you realize that he took his eyes off Jesus and began to doubt. And then he began to sink.

The lesson there is not just to follow Jesus. It is to really believe that by following Him and trusting Him, you have His power. And if it is His will, you can literally walk on water!

In His arms.

PS: That relief you feel is because your soul is saying "Yessssss....I know that is true..." It is relief that the truth still exists...that He is still right there beside you.

<small>[ March 04, 2005, 01:35 PM: Message edited by: Mortarman ]</small>

Mortar-

You always make me feel so much better. WH stopped by about 4:30, he was dropping off my necklace that I left at his house (That should be a good indication of how easily I fall for any little crumb he throws me...he looks at me crossways and I fall right back into bed w/ him UGGGGH!). So anyway, he hands me the necklace and plops down on the couch. I sat down on the opposite end of the couch...he watched DD10 do her flashcards. I did take my ring off and put it in my jewelry box, I don't really need that constant reminder, I don't know if he noticed or not. I did notice something sorta funny when he was here though. I had just cleaned the bathroom a little while before he'd gotten there, and he went in to use the restroom when he was here, I was walking into the living room from the kitchen and I noticed hesitate as he was going in, I glanced over there and saw that I had left the toilet seat up when I cleaned the toilet...LOL, he probably thought another guy had been here...I giggled a little to myself after I walked away...that was completely unintentional, unless it was subconsciously.

-Caren

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> and saw that I had left the toilet seat up when I cleaned the toilet...LOL, he probably thought another guy had been here...I giggled a little to myself after I walked away... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">HMMM! This is a good one. I wished I had thought of that before I went to plan B <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

Oh well,Will keep it in my bag of tricks since we never know.

Hope you are doing well,

love

love-

I didn't do it intentionally, I had just cleaned the toliet, but it was amusing that it made him hesitate. I will be back in Plan B shortly..I need to change my signature line info.

-Caren

I know you said it was not intentional but just picturing my husband's face in a situation like that .....Hmmm! Priceless!

Good luck going back to plan B.

Love

I did end up going out for a couple beers last night. I invited a girl from my group that just moved here from Nevada, because she doesn't know anyone. We left about 9:30 and went and got an appetizer and a beer at Ruby Tuesday and met some of my other friends. Then we left there and went to this little hole in the wall bar, my friend said "Oh you'll like it, it's an older crowd" (She's only 21 and I'm 37) So we get there...and they're all quite a bit older than me, not that it matters, but I found it amusing. I said "Hmmmm exactly how old do you think I am?"LOL

Apparently WH called at 10pm and asked where I was and who I went with, and then told the kids to have me call him when I got home. Well I had like 3 beers at the bar, and I looked outside and it was snowing pretty hard so I told my friends I was going home, it was like 12:30, and the place we were at is only like 3 blocks from my house. So anyway I get home, and my DD10 is laying on the couch asleep and DD19 is busy on the computer, so no one told me to call him...LOL

He called here at like 10 minutes til 8, I was still in bed, then when I woke up DD10 said "Mom Jen forgot to tell you to call Daddy when you got home." I said "What?" She said "Yeah he wanted you to call him" I'm like hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. So I called him about 15 minutes ago, he answered and I said "The kids didn't tell me to call last night." He said "Well, why not?" I said "I don't know I guess they forgot." He said "Oh.....Well what time did you get home?" I said "Around 12:30pm" He said "Did you have fun?" I said "Yeah, I had fun" He said "Well I called about 9:30pm (Not really, it was 10pm, but okay) and you had already left, so I just sat around all alone last night" I said "Well what'd you do that for?" He said "Well I was going to go have a beer with you" I said "Well, you told me you didn't want to." He said "I changed my mind" I said "Oh, sorry." Then he asked me if I brought a man home from the bar, LMAO. I said "No, I didn't bring anyone home" He said "Did guys buy you drinks?" I said "Yes" He sorta got an attitude. And then I said "Okay, well you want to talk to your daughter?" He said "Yeah." and I got off the phone.

So I go out last night, don't even think about him (Well I did a little, but I didn't obsess, and was able to not think of him most of the evening).....and he sits home alone stewing about what I'm doing.......yeah he's still ripe for Plan B.

-Caren

Yes he is.

And on top of that, with dropping Plan B on him right after you going out and having fun, leaving toilet seat up, not calling last night, etc...well, I see panic mode coming on his part. Most WSs believe we will do the same thing as them. So any suspicion will be magnified a hundred times.

As I have always said, you are not playing a game here...and shouldnt. The seat was left up because you cleaned it. You went out and had a good time with girlfriends. You came home to your children. Nothing wrong here, and no games were played. And you answered your husband truthfully.

But, I bet especially after Plan B starts, he will doubt that is the truth. Panic WILL set in.

He is about to go on the steepest part of the rollercoaster. Wave to him Caren and smile...cause you aint gonna ride with him.

In His arms.

Caren - Great job! You will find that as you go out and do things, your self-esteem will rise, and you will no longer feel so desperate. That is good for Plan B.

I told everyone I knew that I would like to go out and do things. Also I started projects around the house, and got real busy. It does wonders for your feelings.

Okay, I just ran DD19 to work it's like 5 minutes away, so I just left DD10 and DD13 here, so I grabbed some gas on the way back, and came home, and DD10 is on the phone, she said "She's back now....." and hands me the phone. I said "Hello?" He said "Well I was calling to tell you I was doing something, but that sorta ruined it." I said "What are you talking about?" He said "Nothing, it kinda got ruined now." I said "okay." HE CALLED TO TRY TO HAVE PHONE SEX with me...LMAO

He started describing what he was doing, and saying he was thinking about me. I said "Huh, you do that a lot?" LMAO. He said "No." I said "Oh okay, well DD10 is standing right here." He said "Oh, okay....." I said "I'll talk to you later" He said "okay." LOL

WTF? I seriously do not understand him....I start showing any sign I'm moving on without him and he starts flipping out. He has NEVER called and wanted to have Phone Sex with me. What on earth goes on in that head of his?!?!!

I told him last week that he needed to make a decision or I was moving on without him. He said "Do whatever you have to do Caren" Apparently he's changed his mind yet again. I'm tired of the hot/cold thing. Before today I would have jumped at the chance to have phone sex with him.....I would have done anything for him....today, not so much.

Okay well I just had to tell somebody that.

-Caren

Caren - Plan B is working. Plain and simple - you're gonna drive him nuts. And that's ok - it sounds to me like he may be starting to regret some of his actions and is trying to do something to get things back onto his side of the issue - but I do want to say this: he's still trying to have his cake and eat it too.

Don't let him get to you at all unless he agrees to YOUR terms of plan B.

I am impressed! CJ told me that you can watch as people go thru Plan B that they begin to grow and blossom - they begin to improve and become so much better and stronger.

I know exactly what she means. You are on your way, Caren.

((((((((((((Caren)))))))))))))

David

P.S. - maybe your life might quit sucking as much! You may have to start a new thread.... "Great, My Life is Getting Better......" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ March 05, 2005, 08:21 AM: Message edited by: tanelornpete ]</small>

Caren,

Answer your own questions. Why doesnt he end it yet? why does he say do what you have to do? Why does he run back and want sex? Why does he go nuts when you start pulling away?

Caren...there has NEVER been a riper (I know that isnt a wrod...but I am using it anyway) WS than yours for Plan B. He cant make the decision while he sits on the fence cake eating. So, he will wait until something changes things for him.

Time to go to Plan B and stay there.

In His Arms.

<small>[ March 05, 2005, 08:22 AM: Message edited by: Mortarman ]</small>

Hi Mortar and believer-

I must have been posting that last post at the same time you guys were.

Yeah, I didn't do anything remotely off color last night. I played some darts with my friends, and a guy that was interested in one of my friends kept buying all of us beer, so I didn't even spend any money.

I never thought about it, but he probably does think that I'm doing or going to do the same thing he is, that's hilarious. He just told me last week he didn't think it would ever be the same between us. I said "I don't want it to be the same" He said "No that's not what I mean, I mean I don't think I can ever love you like you want me to." Except don't go on with your life, stay here in limbo with me. NEGATIVE.

The toilet seat thing was the funniest thing I've ever seen..LOL. I had to walk pretty fast down the hall so he didn't see me laughing.

Oh his mind must be playing some heavy tricks on him.

-Caren

<small>[ March 05, 2005, 08:23 AM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

Oh, I know he's still trying to cake eat...and he's going to be pressuring me for SF tonight when he's here to see his son, but I'm shooting him down (Holy crap that's gonna be hard), but I know that is what I HAVE to do, or I'm gonna be right back in the same situation again....at least now I feel like things are moving forward a little.

So I will deny him SF tonight, but still be fun and pleasant. I can already tell you how it's gonna be tonight, every time I walk away from where the kids are he's going to follow me and try to make out with me every where I go, I know him really well. And he is starting to show some signs again that my husband is in there somewhere.....but I guess the extraction of my H from my WH is going to be a painful process for all involved.

I do feel a little stronger. I don't know why him scrambling like that empowers me, but it does. I just have to figure out how to avoid all the skirmishes after I go into Plan B again.

He's gonna crack quick I think. I thought it'd be slow, I thought I'd ruined it, but he's being true to form yet again.

-Caren

Okay someone talk to me...LOL, I'm bored.

I HATE THE WEEKENDS!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Caren

whats happening Caren? Don't know that I'll be much support to you now, but I will try.

Hiya, Caren! I'm here too...

You are doing just fine... he is like a fish on a hook... You really hold most of the cards now.

You are in Franklin County, yes? My brother lives in Columbus. He is a saxophone player.

Hope you have a great weekend!

I don't need any assistance, I just hate that no one is on here to talk on the weekends...LOL

I'm attention seeking, what can I say, and after that big stink about no one being on I just made...now I have to leave LMAO.

I have to go pick up DS15 at his aunts and I have to go to the grocery store, I'll most likely stop by WH's work while I'm out.


*********Update****************

Oh my God, he just called again from work and said "I probably shouldn't have said that to you on the phone earlier"

I said "Oh, why?"

He said "I dunno, I was trying to get you hot and bothered and you kinda shut me down"

I said "Well DD10 was right there"

He said "Yeah, but I like to get you that way"

I said "You do?" *laughing*

He said "Yeah"

I said "Why's that?"

He said "Because I like to get you that way and then make you wonder when you're gonna get it"

I said "Oh, okay"

He said "See I'm doing it again, and you're blowing me off"

I said "I'll see you after I pick up DS15"

He said "Well......you could go into the bathroom so DD10 wouldn't hear you"

I laughed and said "I'll see you in a little while"

What on earth is his problem today?!?!?! He is just flippin beside himself because I'm being aloof, and the more he does it the more aloof I get....apparently my not falling all over him as soon as he starts talking sexy is not quite the reaction he was going for.....and he's also apparently now obsessing about it, as he's trying to have phone sex with me FROM WORK. LMAO

-Caren

Caren-
He's manipulating you.

When you see him- REALLY see him today.

This man is treating you like his personal sex doll. He's picking you up and putting you back on the shelf whenever he feels like it.

It appears to me you are mistaking it for love. Its not. Its a power issue and Im getting so frustrated watching you fall for it.

You aren't even close to plan b. When does that really begin, Caren?