To try to make a very long story short, I had not heard from H in 4 months. Then in Oct. he sent me a letter saying he had remembered our 15 yr. Anniversary. That he would always love me and had many regrets about everything. I did not respond.
Then in Nov. he called several times and I finally answered one of these calls. He seemed genuinely concerned about my feelings, answered any questions I had and acted like he cared. He said he'd like to see me. I thought very hard about this and did go and see him. The whole time I was with him he was so arrogant and acted like how dare I come. Then a week later he called and wished me a happy birthday. I didn't hear from him again.
A few weeks ago I found some letters he had written. One in particular really got to me. It said he loved me so much and always wanted other women to know he was off limits because of his obvious devotion to me. That I was so precious to him and he hoped I believed it. Well after reading that I sat down and wrote him a very long letter. I told him exactally how I felt about him, OW and OC. I didn't sugar coat anything but I wasn't nasty either. I also sent a copy of the letter I found.
Last week he called his brother and told him I had sent him a f*** you letter and he didn't know why I'd do such a thing. That I was the only one he could count on and he didn't understand. He also said he could see himself happy the rest of his life with me as long as he had OC. Then on Fri. he called my house and I did talk to him. Big mistake. He said the only reason he called was to talk to his sister (who was up for the weekend and staying with me). He told me he didn't call much because he didn't want me to get the wrong idea and that he was never coming back to me. Well, at that point I lost it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I told him him that was good because I would never take him back after being with OW and that I never wanted to see him again and to never call my house again (this of course is not true). I also said OW was a disgusting pig. He still defends her and OC is everything to him.
I feel I totally blew everything. I should have never even taken the call. I honestly don't know what to think or what to do. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Just hold on and go back to plan B send him a copy of the plan B letter again. Keep your chin up and remember you are human. He is living with someone who is as deceitful as he is. "What kind of life is that? Stay dark this time I believe someone said until they except and go along with your Plan B letter.

Cyn,
You didn't blow anything! You responded in a way that you felt the situation warranted and if he was insulted, so what? If your WH was really upset, then he should address the issue with you and not his brother or any one else. The way it sounds, your WH just doesn't get it and may be he never will. But that's not your problem to solve. That's his problem to solve only I don’t think he even realizes that he has a problem, and how sad is that?

There is one thing I kind of think you can be sure of however. When a selfish need arises once again, he will reach out to you, and he will do so with no hesitation. No matter what you may have said your WH doesn’t sound to be the kind of person to be deterred by simple niceties. No, he sounds to be the type who will probably always come back to you feeling entitled to your time, attention and caring.

Blown it? I don’t think so. If any one has blown anything, I think it may be your husband who is guilty of that particular charge.

Coach