Here is a rough translation of some of the original plan B letter. I deleted about the mediators cause by now I know they were a bad idea. Friends do not want to get involved. In laws are too involved and emotional and forget about my parents. SIL could be a good one but sometimes hard to reach and is a far away relative of WH ex. Not good either. I am riding this solo with it happens. Just getting the letter ready.
____________________________________________
Date
(original letter 10/30/04) (second written attempt 12/04 with a different wording not really a PBL)
(also, some may be lost in translation since original was in Spanish)
My Dear WH
It’s with tears in my eyes and a broken heart that I sit today to write you this letter.
While I was filling out your papers for your probation officer and was on line looking for the financial backup in our bank account, I found a transaction of 3PM today from _______(place close to home) while you were saying to me you were sick in ____(another state). I can not handle anymore your lies. Specially now, that I was beginning to trust you again.
I want to ask for your forgiveness for helping to create an environment that allowed for your affair with OW to be possible. I fought a lot to be with you while you were in prison but once you were out I did not know how to keep it working to your satisfaction by not taking care of my appearance, by gaining weight and not taking care of your sexual needs 100% as you expected it. I did not know how to keep you attracted to me and I did not know of that error until it was too late and now we both pay for it. We should both have sat down and discussed how the relationship was changing after you came out. We failed at not meeting each other’s needs since I also needed your affection, honesty and communication. We did not know how to manage our communication changing from prison (phone calls, visitations and letters) to in person (day to day living). You know I come from a home where my parents would not show affection in front of others so I did not know how to show you affection. It was up to us as a couple to develop our own way of showing we care after all we have been through.
We can not stay in this situation any longer. I love you too much to keep going like this if you are not happy with me. You know of my love for you and how I have responded to you in good and bad times. I have fought for you in silence and with patience. It has not been easy from the beginning. Each contact that you have with her (by phone or in person) is another stab to my heart. I showed you patience, respect and support but I am human and my heart can not handle this no more because it hurts too much. You know what to expect from me and what I can offer you in life and that I am willing to fix this.
As you have seen, I have tried to mend my errors. I tried to create a new life for us that will fill our needs. Unfortunately, none of that will make an impact until your relationship with OW comes to an end. I still have the strength to fight for us but will not waste it if OW still around because you will not let me back into your heart if you still in contact with OW.
Until then, I will avoid contact with you. It will not be easy but I have to protect my heart.
I will keep ____(my stepson) until school is over. You can pick him up at the drive way every Friday and return him Sunday. As for the baby, you will see him every other Saturday from 1PM to 4PM until you are more familiar on how to handle him. We will arrange where and how to pick him up.
I want to rebuild our marriage some day. I want it to be us to fill the needs of one another. I loved you when we married and still love you today even more, but you need to understand that I can not be with you while you are in contact with her.
I am sorry it had to come to be like this.
I will always love you, do not forget that.
BS
__________________________________________
Also, I need to add some financial arrangements that I am still working on. Nor sure if some of the stuff should be here since OW is supposed to get a copy. I do not like that at all becuase some of the info here is private to me and do not want her to know. Should I do a separe letter for her?
Thanks for your imput. Love
