long time reader first time poster. mb has saved my m. my wife had and A with my best friend. but it was her friends that influenced her. ww friends have all cheated on there husbands. told her it was the best thing thay ever did that they still have fantasys about the guy. but they told me it was the worst thing they ever did, and there so glad we are working it out. then they tell her, (when is she going too trade that 40 year old in for to 20 year olds.)

my Q is how do I make her understand that these freinds are not good for our M.
without her losing her (me).

Hello tamis toy,

Welcome to MB finally. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

All I can say is YIKES.It scares me to think that this is the mentality out there in society.I would seriously question the morals and values of these women who are suggesting that it was the best thing they ever did and turn around and lie to you.Maybe they are lying to your FWW and to themselves.Who the heck knows but with "friends" like those,who needs enemies right? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I would just be open and completely honest about the relationship you all have with these women.Do you see them a lot or does your WW see them a lot? If they are not pro marriage thinking then I would say "Ta Ta".You and your FWW have to present a united front and it appears that these so called friends are not being sensitive to the siutation at hand.I would hope your WW could see this.

O

TT, that is said. It probably won't work, it certainly didn't in my own case, but try this. Ask her to put the shoe on the other foot.

Ask her how she'd feel if you hung out with friends like that. Not only hung out with friends that enabled the affair, but encouraged it. Then ask how she'd feel if you invited these same home wrecking friends into your home and asked her keep company with them.

It probably won't work.

I heard things like this from STBX's friends, "I wish I could marry a man I didn't have to cheat on." They agreed cheating was bad, horrendous even, but justified thier infidelities to feed their selfishness.

They are not real friends. A real friend would tell you when you are making mistakes.

A real friend wouldn't let you sneak over to their house to do drink, do drugs, and cheat on your husband. A real friend would tell you to get your head on straight.

Of course you WW probably distanced herself from any person, family, or friend, who disagreed with her selfish, adulturous actions. Just like mine.

Good luck. I think it is true that you can make a pretty good judgement about someone based on the company they keep.

thanks for your reply