Hello all,
It has been a while since I posted.
For those who know my story things have not changed much i have done a somewhat poor job with PLan B, but as the time goes on i find myself losing interest in my WW affair and all that surrounds it. For those who don't know my story, Briefly my wife met OM on line in 01/04 DD was 07/04 reconciliation attempted at this point until 09/04 when WW broke contact. Separation bagan 10/25/04. WW rec'd legal separation papers 02/05 has not signed them yet.
OM deploys for 6mo. cruise (he is in the Navy)on March 25,05. Om has been living with WW everyother week that she does not have my kids. WEeks she has my kids he is on the boat.
I have expose to everyone friends family coworkers. I have attempted to call JAG ofc. they would not intervene it is a personal matter.
Spoke with OM wife whom he is as far as i know just separated legally. Received ph# for OM ship and was suggest by OM wife that if i wanted to report him didn't know how well it would due to call that number and ask for the ofc. captain of the ship. OM is a senior chief....mostly untouchable.
At this point WW states her feelings have not changed since she moved out she is still in love with OM and plans on waiting out his six mo. deployment. OM complete opposite of me. SErial cheater, alcoholic,verbal abuser, busted on 2 dui's in past. WW states he might have been like that but is not now. OM wife is just bitter according to my WW.
Question is at this point would one last attempt at exposure to OM ships senior ofc. do any good.
Would this further drive them closer together if anything would happen at all.
Don't understand why OM wife if has given this info. and wants me to expose when she can herself. Although OM wife has had it with him after 18 years of marriage she has thrown in the towel, but has not filed for divorce yet. Confusing.
If this would anger WW and basically place the final nail in the reconciliation coffin. At this point i don't know if it would really bother me. I have moved a little forward with myself have gone out with friends and a had just a few dates but nothing serious.
I still do love my WW but throughout this i have been guilty of the relationship talk, buying her gifts for holidays,and the ILY, with hugging. I have set myself up for my own misery once OM is back from his sea trial i am again treated like yesterdays garbage. All this has made me lose some of that love for her.
As the weeks go by i am gradually learning to detach the best i can. So i don't know how much good at this point exposure would due. WW i dont' see is ready or will ever be ready to come back to me. I did commit before we separated that i would not expose to his command...big mistake should have done it then. So now i ask is it worth it now that all that has taken place?
Adivse from anyone who knows my story.
Thanks,
Jets

To add to this,
I have prayed alot and have been getting a lot of messages that i have been trying to control the fate of this whole mess and that i should just step away and give it up to the Lord. And what happens happens. I am for all purposes in this mindset. So by thinking about this last effort at exposure,feel it would be me trying to control the sit. in which i have no control over.
There is a reason for why everything happens in life. I am a firm believer of this as well as what comes around goes around.
I also entertain that I might be better off just letting this relationship go and move on altogether. Even with a little hope in my heart that maybe 6mo. separation with WW and OM when he is on deployment may effect her. My WW is of the civilian world she has never been expose to the tough trials of the military way of life for families.
Jets

Bump for jets - please advice

As long as the A is on, exposure is an option.

Wouldn't it be better if you and OM's W do this exposure as a tag team to his command? Danigirl reported her sailor H and he got extra duty and a monetary fine. Not sure what else is lurking.

The point is that OM's W stands a better chance of getting results and you can be her backup witness.

JMHO,
L.

Jets:

Someone here who had a spouse in the military was advised to go thru government channels. Like calling the office of your Senator or Congressman in Washington and exposing the affair thru that route and explain that you have had no help from the JAG office or thru the CO of the ship.

Infidelity does not go along with the code of honor that is espoused in the military. It's likely true that it happens more often than we, the civilians, know about, and more likely than not, it's ignored because it doesn't pose a threat to national security (that we know of). However, a little pressure from an elected official might help to shake things up a bit.

Hope this is somewhat helpful.

**edited to add: I agree with the poster above who said that the wife of the OM should probably go this route--since her hubby is the one in the military, she should lodge the first missile. However, she should be willing to give your name as well and state that she's spoken to spouse of the OP and you both would like to have the affair end.**

<small>[ February 23, 2005, 07:11 AM: Message edited by: JobieMom ]</small>