my story is that my wife of 13 years had an affair a year ago , she left me and our two young daughters for the om ,,now it is 12 months later and she has informed me that she is pregnant to the om and intends on keeping the baby ,, this has all happened so suddenly , she says she loves the om ,
i didnt think affairs where supposed to last and go this far , i have given her space and respect and now she is going to do this , i feel so sorry for my daughters , it was only about 15 months ago my wife told me that she never wants any more kids and that she was starting to enjoy her independance because the kids are now older ,,,i give up there is no going back now ,, i do think in time though she will regret this decision , she has only known this man 12 months ,, why does she do this to our family

bump

colboy, I am so sorry you are here. What kinds of things did you do to end the affair? Are you familiar with the Marriage Builders program? Where does your W live?

<small>[ February 22, 2005, 10:18 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

my wife lives about 30 kilometres from me and my daughters ,, she has been with me since she was 18 and i was 25 that was 14 years ago when we met
she never really had any relationships before so that is why i just gave her space to find her self , i never thought that this would happen .
i truly do beleive she is making the biggest mistake of her life

Do you feel that you may have enabled her affair? What have you done to stop her?

no one can end an affair , it has to run its course , now that course has got her pregnant ,, i dont think i can deal with this any more

colboy, you can't end the affair, but there are many things you can do to make it very uncomfortable and hasten its end. Such as exposure and a policy of non-cooperation. Does she live with the OM now?

colboy: I went back and read your old posts. Aussieswife gave you superb advice. Did you read it? http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/ultimatebb.php?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=035546;p=1#000000

Colby,

I don't know where you live. But, in most states in the US, YOU will be considered the father unless you contest your paternity. That means that even if she divorces you, lives with OM or yet another man YOU will pay child support for this child.

GET TO A LAWYER NOW. If you must file for divorce, but at the very least get to a lawyer, protect your children and yourself. It is time for plan B, and it is time you did NOT allow her in your life. She is getting what she wants from the OM, and then she comes to you for you to "fix" things.

END THIS NOW, or you and your children will be harmed.

I am very serious about this. Time to stand up and face this instead of just "hoping" she will end the affair. She won't if there are no reasons not to.

Please do something about this or the OM may end up raising your children and you will get to pay for the lot of them including his child with your W.

God Bless,

JL

Please listen to JL. All affairs don't end. My wife's affair continued through our divorce. Today she is living with the OM. A wonderful marriage of over 20+ years was tossed in the trash by her.
Eventually, I had to face the fact that she didn't give a hoot about me. It is a hard truth, and one that even today hurts.

Protect yourself and your children.