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<small>[ February 23, 2005, 12:16 PM: Message edited by: New&ImprovedMarylandLady ]</small>

NIML, glad you are calling an attorney. Protect your finances immediately! You cannot let him continue to drain your joint account. I would call the bank after you call your attorney and cancel his ATM card and any credit cards he has!

{{NIML}}So sorry you are going through this. What strong woman you are.

((((((((((((Maryland))))))))))))))) I'm sorry, I don't have any good advice, but I'm thinking of you.

-Caren

Call that lawyer NOW. He is now endangering your children and you need to protect them. Sounds like rock bottom may be coming soon, protect you and your family.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

This is abandonment (unless he's lying somewhere in a coma)

Get this legally documented... you have a MAJOR advantage regarding child custody and visitation because of HIS stupidity.

Use his stupidity against him.

Time to lawyer up! Do not delay.

Pep

It's too early for Spring Break...

Talk with a lawyer. Time to move to Plan B.

The consequence of him running off is that he will not have a home to come home to...he knew the risks when he left and not talked with you.

What can you do to batton down the house and protect it from his neglect?

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

<small>[ February 23, 2005, 12:17 PM: Message edited by: New&ImprovedMarylandLady ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Someone suggested to me to contact the OW. Do you think this is a good suggestion?</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No. Stay OUT of their drama.

Pep

After all he has done... Is it stupid of me just to want to know that he is ok? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by New&ImprovedMarylandLady:
<strong> After all he has done... Is it stupid of me just to want to know that he is ok? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You and your feelings are not stupid.

You have a broken heart ... protect yourself right now.

You feel for him, yes ... but do not trust anything that comes from his mouth except a burp! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Pep

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ February 23, 2005, 09:55 PM: Message edited by: New&ImprovedMarylandLady ]</small>

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ February 23, 2005, 09:55 PM: Message edited by: New&ImprovedMarylandLady ]</small>

It isn't enough to KNOW that what you are doing is wrong..you have to CARE that what you are doing is wrong..and stop doing it. Anything else is just a disclaimer.

Noodle

Have you called his job to find out if he is on vacation or left it ? Just a thought.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ February 23, 2005, 09:56 PM: Message edited by: New&ImprovedMarylandLady ]</small>

N&IMLL,

I don't think I've posted to you before.

Are you N&I Landlady named Mary, or a N&I Lady from Maryland?

OK, you gave him the PBL. If it was a more-or-less standard PBL, it said that you would not communicate with him until he was in a state of NC with OW. I think he's just testing you - trying to make you desparate to talk to him - to break the PlanB right from the start.

He's a big boy. If he in a ditch dying somewhere there is nothing you can do about it. 99.999% he's fine. Go with the odds. He's trying to manipulate you by "malicious compliance". You asked for no communication with him. He's giving you what you asked for. Now, when he does contact you, please show no particular concern. Please just respond with a "what do you have to say about the kids, bill etc." Don't even mention that you were worried about him.

He's testing you.

Just my opinion.

-AD

I cannot sleep. I have barely ate anything in days. I just hate not knowing. And I feel angry. Angry that he can do this and not seem to care at all.

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

<small>[ February 23, 2005, 09:57 PM: Message edited by: New&ImprovedMarylandLady ]</small>

Oh my gosh!!! I am sorta speechless

One part of me says forget him, any man that treatst his wife and children like that doesn't deserve a second chance

But then a part of me knows and understands that you love him and you want your husband and to have your family back together again.

My blood is just boiling
That ow is in for a rude awakening someday, I've said it before that OW/M are in a huge fog themselves. They like to think that if a marriage is happy then the affair would never happen. Wait till it happens to them

I'm so sorry you are going through this!!!!

Maybe his family should put out a missing persons and I would contact a lawyer

<small>[ February 23, 2005, 12:26 PM: Message edited by: Enchantedlady ]</small>

Maryland:

I think I may have posted to you earlier.

I'm so sorry that you have to go through this. I had such a hard time reading your post this morning. The flashbacks sometime make me want to run away from this site.

However, I have to tell you that your WH is following the standard script. It may sound like a broken record, Maryland . However, it will really be helpful for you to understand the MB principles. His A is an addiction. He is off on a high with the OW right now. Logic and reasoning will not work on a WH.

My H did the exact same thing as yours, went away without telling me where he was, turned his cellphone off, etc. I couldn't eat or sleep. He does not care, right now, what he is doing to you. He is getting high.

Don't believe, though, that he fling with this young thing will last. He wants to go off and have his fun with her and have you there waiting. He will keep you there dutifully waiting for as long as he can, forever, if possible. He wants to keep his high going.

The best thing that you can do in order to recover your M is to give him to her. Yes, that's what I said. Let her try to be his EVERYTHING. She will ultimately fail.

However, you have to protect yourself and your children financially. Because with him being addicted and high on her, he doesn't care about anything but continuing with his fun. You have to be the sane one and the strong one now because your WH is currently out of control.

You may have enabled this. I can understand it. I did it too. However, it's now time for you to return to being the NEW MARLAND LADY!!!!

<small>[ February 23, 2005, 12:33 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>