I was doing really good today, then this thought just pop up in my mind. Maybe when I turned the corner and his car will be parked in the driveway. This happens to me everyime the phone rings and I get the mail maybe it is him, or maybe I get a letter from him. Does this ever stop? I just want some type of contact. I just want to know what is going on with him. I don't know anything and I don't know haow to find out. We are only 86 miles apart but he doesn't see aor talk to any of the people we knew. Every once in a while someone will see him at the mall with her, but he won't stop to talk to them and no one has seen him in awhile. I don't know if I should write him a letter. I just wish I knew how things were going betweeen them. I know there must be alot of financial pressure on him. (I made sure of that, nothing drastic just am making him pay for certain bills). I just wish I knew what to do next. I have no idea what plan I am in. There has been no contact in a month. Even if I wanted to call him I can't her phone has been disconnected. He hasn't even called or written to check on our son. He didn't even send his mother a birthday card ( probably didn't remember when it was) I guess I'm just letting off steam, but I sure wish I knew what to do next. I still can't believe this is happening everything seem so unreal. <P>------------------<BR>di<BR>

Hi SDS....I'm assuming that you are in Plan B. Plan B means no contact. I'm sorry that your H is not even checking up on his son. It sounds like your H is going to hit rock-bottom and get a dose of reality with this OW before he will come around. Stay strong and hang in there!

No Trust I guess I am in plan B but it is not by my choice. I am not sure I'm ready for plan B but I guess he is. <BR>I'm just afraid that even when he hit rock bottom he won't try to contact anyone. He won't know what to do. His mother is afraid he might commit sucide and that realy worries me. So I would like to keep some type of conection going maybe not right now but a little late like in about a month, just to let him know we are still here and still care. Thanks<P>------------------<BR>di<BR>

Hi SDS<P>The next thing to work on is yourself if you have not started already. Work on being a better person and having some fun. You tried your best and H is gone BUT life is still here. Build a positive attitude and you will realize things just seem better whether H is with or without you. Learn to live with out your H right now and ensure your son is not effected in anyway from this issue. Build a aura of stength and self confidence and flaunt it the next time you communicate with your H. <P>I know this is not part of Plan B but maybe send some photos of you son to H and maybe a letter discussing the importance of H and son communication with no mention of yourself or the issue.<P>Understand the things you have control over and work with that. Your looks, feelings, your son and life is what you have control over. While working on these things you will feel better and productive. You can't lose in this situation because by feeling good you will be good and more attractive and have more fun in life. <P>Good Luck<BR>_____________________________________________"Better to die on my feet than live on my knees"

SDS...Toronto has some excellent advice here....please try to do it. I'm sure it will help. Meanwhile, just keep venting here and we'll be here to support you....

Thanks for the good advice. I had to close out my teacherretirement fund, so I have made some plan with aome of the money. 1. I am going to invest some of it how I'm not sure but ahave an appointment today with a finacial advisor. 2. Friday I'm having my haircut and a make up makeover. 3. Saturday my daughter and I are going to shop til we drop or 6P.M. which ever come first(Her babysitter has to leave then) for me a new fall and winter wardrobe. I still have to look for a job but maybe this will help. I have thought of sending him some pictures of our grandsons. We have a new one he is only three months old and the last time H saw him he was just a little over one month and he certainly has changed. My son (age 21) and his father have never really communicated but one would think that if you had just donated your kidney you would want to see how his doing. I'm aslo looking for a place to live( we are now living with daughter and family tight quarters) and looking to buy another car cheap! I really trying seeing a counselor and so is my son. But there are those days when it still hits hard and seems like I should wake up from this nightmare. Thanks again.<P>------------------<BR>di<BR>