Daycare Disaster:<BR>the phone card he purchased was one that you get at any store not one from local telephone company. Anyway on the back of card there is a customer service number that I called and also a website for the card. They told me to get a copy of all calls made from the card that I would have to send them a certified check for 10.00 (same cost of card)and the card to the corporate headquaters and then they would send me the list. Hope this helps and hope he is telling me the truth too or it will be a disaster here. The only reason I think he may have called her was while he was away at convention I called her to confront her and to let her know I knew everything (and maybe to make sure she didnt go there too) and I told him this. Even though H was a complete jerk for having an affair he is a very caring and sensitive person I thought he might have just called to make sure she was alright and nothing more. <BR>He understands that I dont trust him and asks how long will it take?....hmm lets see you had affair for over a year, off and on...think that is about the same amount of time that I SHOULD NOT TRUST YOU AT ALL! This Valentines Day would have been 23 years for us...IM SUBTRACTING A YEAR FROM THAT..and yes I will correct him if he tells anyone different...then he can explain!

Starr: Man - when I had called (it was probably who I talked to with the phone card thing (it is also cards from a Golden Gallon or something) they said there was no way to identify what calls were made. I may look into it - but of course I can hear my H's famous answer when I say, "you lied to me you called her from X, Y and Z and said you "found" the card." He'll say - "so, I lied to you then but now that is over and you have to believe me." It's just the same song and dance everytime. That's why I'm freakin' crazy. Each time we say Okay - no more secrets - no more lies - sometimes without even snooping - I happen upon some information which points me toward the fact that he is lying AGAIN.<P>------------------<BR>

When I asked how could I trust him now that I knew he was capable of lying to me, my H tried to comfort me by saying "All I ever lie about is the affair."<P>Some comfort, but I think it was the truth.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

It is now 3 1/2 months since discovery here. W and I are well on our way to recovery I believe. I too will never have the blind faith that I once had, but I find myself more and more relaxing and forgetting what has happened this summer.<P>However, I still find myself checking the phone and the computer at least 3-4 times a week. It's almost a reflex. I have determined that she hasn't contacted OM from home in the last 2 months at the least. I also recently ordered the selective call block and have blocked OM's work numbers and home number (he's a former friend) <P>My only suggestion to you is to continue to do what you must to have peace of mind. It's you who has to be comfortable with the relationship...you're not the one who betrayed.

Awoken:<BR>By my snooping, I think I am trying almost to see how far his relationship with the OW is going. Although we are still married by law for another couple months, I have filed for separation. In my state, it is community property and he was running thru alot of money. My goal is to get back together. I had wanted to work thru our problems, but right now he is too much in love with the OW to even see straight.<P>Off the topic, is there anyone who has experienced infidelity, separation, then recovery. I really need hope. I think that I am almost killing myself reading H's letters and Ow's to each other, when I so badly want the chance to expereience that again with my husband. It just hurts to read of his excitement at seeing her, and like others above, to compare his phone calls to me (about 10 minutes) to 2000 hours to her. My only joy is that his cell phone bill last month was "$900.00". Hee hee!