O.K. Holy, don't panic yet! What is a ring? A piece of metal, nothing else. yet the idea with which it was given can be scary, I understand that. Still people convey those ideas in many ways while on an affair: a ring,any gift, words, actions, it's all part of the same. If you feel you can work it out after the affair, the fact that he gave her a ring, should mean no more than anything else that happened between them. It's just part of the affair on its whole. No more important than that. My H didn't give his ow anything, but the promisses of forever love, and being the only one for each other... I would give her 30 rings myself if it could take those words away!<BR>What I'm trying to say is that the ring doesn't have to be more important than anything else that happened with the affair. Don't focus on that.<BR>In regards to the vacation iy feels bad,but I am right to the assume that all this happened before? It hurts, but it's supposed to be in the past. It doesn't have to be part of what you're trying to rebuild.<BR>ANd as to commitment, the only committment he has is with you. Due to her choice she had no rights, no reason to expect anything. So no reason to espect committment either.<BR> don't start thinking about the worse that can happen, concentrate on what you see him doing to help your marriage. <BR>Are things still going o.k.? Is he still making an effort? If so concentrate on that. I know that every new thing we find hurts and makes us feel that maybe it's not meant to be. Maybe we shouldn't be trying, but we need to make an effort to concentrate on what's happening now, as opposed to what hapened then. Only then we can start going in the right direction and seing the small things that help.<BR>Take care<BR>Kat<P>------------------<BR>Each and everyone of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought, and the gift of understanding.
