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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 14 |
How do I deal with the child my husband had with the OW? She lives 2 miles from us and her children attend the same high school as ours. She sends him pictures all the time and still pages him whenever she wants and he will answer her back even though he knows I don't like it. I don't want anything to do with the child but he wants to. She keeps showing up where we are and flaunting the child. Any answers or solutions. It hurts so bad still even after only 1 year!!! My husband can't seem to understand why I can't deal with it.
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 17
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 17 |
nurse,<P>The emotional part of the affair might not be over, at least for the OW. I presume she is not married, because it is not likely that her husband would go along with this type of contact.<P>If your husband does not have a sensitivity to your feelings about having the child "flaunted" in front of you, you should seriously question whether he really does care enough about you and the success of the your marriage. He does have a right and obligation to keep in contact with the child, but that does not mean that he needs to maintain direct contact with the OW to do so.<P>I suggest that you talk to your husband about this and get a real feel for his commitment to you and the marriage. I sincerely question his commitment if he does not think it is important enough to at least meet you half way.
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 14
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 14 |
thanks mirriam,<BR>he says he's fully committed to the marriage, but that he does want to see the child too. I've told him it has to be through a third party without any contact with the OW and he has agreed to that but when it came down to it he didn't do it. He doesn't see why he shouldn't have any contact with OW if its just to see the child. Nothing would happen as far as he is concerned he says. Why shouldn't I trust this statement, HUH???
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 17
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 17 |
nurse,<P>He could very well be telling the truth, but he is still not respecting you for your concerns. If nothing changes, you will either have to change to accept this way of life (H having frequent contact with OW, as well as his child) or possibly take more definite measures, up to and including leaving. Your husband is not being sensitive in this delicate situation.<P>Be patient, yet don't give in to his lack of commitment to dealing with a third party.
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