Whew.....I made it though the day...and it is true what they say...one day at a time.

FWH and I have been in recovery for almost four months after a year long EA. FWH and OW met at a show in Oct'03. Dday was March 11, 2004--seven months of Plan A, two Plan B's later...and we arrive back at the start of the A...the show.

I was really dreading this day because of possible contact. FWH told me of precautions--he would work show, but leave early. He told his biz partner to not put out biz cards. I held my breath all day. Tried not to worry.

FWH called me at 11 am and told me he had left show. He saw OW and her constant companion, the guy who threatened and falsely sued FWH. He told me he saw them and told partner he would leave. (His partner and his wife are our friends and helped us when FWH was exposed.)I thanked H for telling me and protecting us.

FWH invited me to play golf and that is what we did....we had fun. I asked H if it was hard for him and he said...yes, seeing them was hard, but he made it thru. I did not ask if it was hard to see her and not go up to her or it was hard to see them together. Most important, I made it through the day. I tried to tell him that I was proud of him and we worked well together as a team, but he seemed depressed...withdrawal still....probably.

I just wanted to write and let those who are struggling know there is a tomorrow and MB WORKS...hang in there. As always, I would welcome any comments or thoughts. My next hurdle is Dday anniversary.

Thanks, everyone.

Sounds good to me.

Give yourself a pat on the back. You could have LB'ed like crazy by overreacting, but you didn't, and you took another step forward, instead of some steps back. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

You did fantastic. You both agreed what you would do for protection, you both continued to communicate, even though one or both might have wanted to just shut down.

And he might not have been in withdrawals. After a while, the FWS begins feeling poorly about their choices, the things they did that caused hurt and harm. In other words, the OP, triggers about the A, remind them of a time in their lives that are "NOT their proudest moments."

This whole recovery thing is a process, and it will all bend and flex and change and look different at each mile stone. Please keep posting. I posted my D-day anni, and it was actually BETTER than I had expected. Instead of feeling totally down, I compared and contrasted where I was last year at that time, with where I was currently, and I was grateful. Grateful for MB, for our hard work, for the passage of TIME, for the healing of our deepest wounds.

You are doing great, you both are. I love that you are his golfing partner now (HUGE EN), and that you two are a team once again. Both of you are on the same "side." I appreciate that about H and I more than ever, because I know it is possible to lose that if we don't both pay attention. We are both fully awake now and paying attention! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Spidey

well i think you did fine. worked together and made it through...together!

now onto the d-day issue. im gonna give you a visual for that day. some crazy lady who is turning forty on that day who may just be dancing nekked around the house being silly!!! she will be doing all kinds of things...picture her bungi jumpin nekked, rollin in the snow nekked....go for it cause whatever you think of i may be contemplating!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Thanks guys....I just had to come here..I knew you would understand.....sometimes the MB board feels like drinking from an oasis in the desert.

TTSi....thanks so much for your thoughts...the old me would have LB'd and held it in for days....

Spidey....thanks a million for your observations...when FWH did not speak, I felt a little hurt and scared that he was thinking of OW and wanting to return...I guess I was thinking the worst because the worst happened before. I never thought that FWH might want to avoid talking about it due to the shame he feels about it....

This golf thing is a passion...I was so happy that he invited me to play...it felt like when your H invited you to compete in the swimming contest and you did it! We were out there for five hours.....whew....glad it was not in the rain.

Time...hard work....changing the M...it is all so true.

Nikko....you are right on....change the visual. I appreciate your comments about turning ugly memories into special moments. I come up to those dates and the continous loops happen and it paralyzes me. I will try to plan to do something positive on those trigger days...funny...I am going to be in snow on March 11....I am going to go run in it....maybe not naked as a jay bird...but run in it anyway.

FWH and I will not be together on March 11. He will be overseas at a show and I feel sad about that. I guess the part that will be different is that I will join him on his trip unlike last year when I was sure we would never see one another again.

Thanks to all for the encouragement to make lemonade out of lemons. For all MB'er's: hang in there....MB is the place to be to turn your life around...it improves your chances to better your life no matter what happens....

Cheers and happy Friday. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

i was talking about picturing me--im that crazy soon to be forty yr old...its my birthday!!!

not sure what im doing yet---but its gonna be memorable!!!!