Hi redhat,

I'm quite new here and seeing that you organized a very successful poll lately I am wondering if you would be so kind to organize another.

I am currently in plan B (since 26th dec). Dr. Harley states that As rarely last more than 6 months once exposed. Sometimes they can last 2 years. I would feel MUCH better if this could be confirmed by the real people here on the MB forum, because it is sort of difficult to tell from the stories.
If we could simply get them to say how long the A lasted once it was exposed or in cases where plan B was needed, how long plan B took, we could probably have actual data to support Dr. Harley's claim!

Since I am quite new here I don't think I would be authorized to post a poll.

Thank you

Just a question to consider; would the length of the A be defined as D-Day to NC commit?

Also, I believe that all you have to do is click on the "Post a Poll" button.

cc46,

You are not a newbie. That junior status goes away after about 32 posts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

As to polls, click on polls up at the top. Instructions are in the thread.

I am curious though, why do you want to do a poll on this topic?

As for the A dying after 6 months, that is generally what happens. Some shorter and others longer but once exposure is set, then changes are generally quicker. Not always for the good but changes nonetheless.

Another point is that once the EA goes PA, it also tends t/g sour. Why? Well all that fantasy holds for a while but then, you know physical stuff with no real merit isn't what builds a lasting R. So unless the A participants can make history or wreck havoc on the BS, the PA just becomes a routine thing with no spark. Geeze, does that sound familar? Yep. Often since the WS is NOT putting effort into the M, gets a EA then PA and expects the OP to put the effort, after all the fireworks die out, then even the A starts to get boring.

The scary piece is once this starts to happen, the OP esp if it is a an OW starts to get bored but her greed is still runing rampant. To satisfy that selfish need t/b 'in control', the 'OW reaches out and now doesn't want to play with the WS but now wants to reach out and control the WS' assests and family.'

JMHO,
L.

Legato: I think it should be exposure to NC, which might mean d day to NC or not. Sometimes exposure does not occur near d day and is delayed for different reasons, and without exposure I don't think there is much chance of ending the affair if the fact that the spouse has found out and confronted the WS hasn't ended it.

Orchid: I wish I could be as sure as you and Dr. Harley are that As generally end in 6 months! I heard Dr. Harley on an audio tape on the website and he states it as an accepted fact of life. One that I was surprised to find out at this point in my life!!!!!(46 yrs old). I have read cases here where that hasn't happened and the WS is with the OP much more than 6 months. It is also difficult to tell from the stories of the recovered people. It's logical that they don't dwell on that.

There are quite a few of us in plan B in GQII and I'm sure we would feel better if we could have more hope that the As will end.

I understand and agree with the reasons for the As to end. Very logical although I had never thought of them. But still. Plan B is hard, and hope is what keeps you going, and it's hope of the possibility of recovery or maybe even the possibility of the WS being the one to decide whether he/she wants to recover (revenge???). It's not hope of divorcing that helps you thru plan B although one should be prepared, I know.

Last but not least, I know a bit about surveys and data and would like to be reassured by a survey of which I know the methodology.

Thanks for your advice about the poll.

As for the A's ending in 6 months, that varies. What I said was the A 'starts dying'. Awwhhh yes it w/b kicking around for a while.

In my case the A was exposed 3 months after it's inception and started dying in about 5 months after exposure. However it kicked around for 3 1/2 more years. I still think about it to this day.

L.

Too true. D-Day was 2 years ago. WS is a controlling type, with a lot of enablers. With my X-Ray vision, I could see the cracks in the A a long, long time ago. No one wants to put together the data, that's all. With WS's allergy to admitting he is wrong, and his willingness to hang on, this could go on for awhile. Happy, happy.

I agree (with everyone, just call me "Amiable")

My wife's EA started to wilt after 7 months and phone contact became infrequent, though it drug on for over a year with one or two calls per month to her "friend" for the last 6 months until NC was established.

Thanks Legato. You are the first to answer the poll that hasn't been posted yet! but 7months is good.

The little sucker can be out of gas -- but you can go a long, long way on the fumes.

A.M.Martin,

Like any addiction ... the original reason might go away but the habit sticks.

-rh-