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Avoiding Emotional Adultery
It is far easier to commit emotional adultery than you may realize. You
may be converging on a chemical reaction with another person when:
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You've got a need you feel your mate isn't meeting-a need for
attention, approval or affection, for example.
You find it easier to unwind with someone other than your spouse by
dissecting the day's difficulties over lunch, coffee or a ride home.
You begin to talk about problems you are having with your spouse.
You rationalize the propriety of this relationship with the opposite
sex by saying that surely it must be God's will to talk so openly and
honestly with a fellow Christian.
You look forward to being with this person more than with your own
mate.
You hide the relationship from your mate.
When you find yourself connecting with another person as a substitute,
you've started traveling a road that ends too often in adultery and
divorce. But how do you protect yourself to keep this from occurring?
Know your boundaries. You should put fences around your heart that
protect sacred ground, reserved only for your spouse. Barbara and I are
careful to share our deepest feelings, needs and difficulties with each
other, and not with friends of the opposite sex.
Realize the power of your eyes. As has been said, your eyes are the
windows to your heart. Pull the shades down if you sense someone is
pausing a little too long in front of your windows.
Beware of isolation and concealment. One strategy of the enemy is to
isolate you from your spouse, especially by inducing you to keep secrets
from your mate.
Extinguish chemical reactions that have already begun. A friendship
with the opposite sex that meets the needs your mate should be meeting
must be ended quickly. It may be a painful loss at first, but it isn't as
painful as dealing with the wreckage caused by a sinful relationship.
Discuss: What barriers can you observe to avoid dangerous chemical
reactions?
Pray: Daily that God would "keep you from stumbling."
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Excerpted from "Moments Together for Couples" by Dennis and Barbara
Rainey.
