For the 1st time in maybe 10-12 months, she (W) said ILY. It actually brought tears to my eyes. I have prayed for those words. God knows, we have a long ways to go, but for maybe the first time in 6 months, do I feel hope. Can't write much now, this capped off a wierd weekend. Will follow up later.

:oD

Thats lovely to hear. All blessings.

Congratulations!!!! I bet that those words made yout touch the clouds. Baby steps ... baby steps ...

Betrayed man.
Were the words I LOVE YOU or luv ya? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I guess they mean the same thing but somehow I LOVE YOU feels so much more meaningful, doesn't it?

I am happy for you; you must be kinda walking on cloud nine today.

Julie Jo <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

No, it was "ILY".

I had a bad week at work, along with everything going on at home, I was really down. Last nite I found some stuff on spyware that really got me down while she was out to dinner with a friend. When she got home, I went out to a bar on base to clear my head. She knew something was up, and she freaked. Since the bar was loud, I could not hear the phone, looked at the phone after about 30 mins, and had 8 missed calls and 1 SMS. I called her back, told her I needed some time, she knew something was wrong, but didn't push. Came home around midnite and went to bed. W woke me up at 3 AM to talk about what was wrong, told her only about work stuff, not my insecurities about her and OM.

Then this morning, I told her about my concerns, we talked, and it escalated, to a point that at one point, she said she was leaving. Things settled down, and we realized that was stupid. She said she is not "in love" w/me, but loves me as the father her kids, knows I am a good person, but is not attracted to me the way she used to be. I told her I was not "in love" with her anymore, my love had evolved. I love her as my wife, my friend, my girls' mother, and my lover. I think that kinda surprised her. I asked if she wanted to live without me, she said she would lose either way. If she left, she would be take my kids away from me and she doesn't want that. Then if she stays, she doesn't know if she can love me the way I want. Then I asked, why are you still with me, what are my strong points? This was telling:
*I am a good person, she wants me in her life.
*She knows how much I love her, and is not sure that anyone else will love her like that. Who else would have stayed thru all this?

I dunno, for the first time in a long time, I feel hopeful. Now the bad news, I think she is still in contact with OM, but I think he is trying to seperate from her. W is a romantic, and needs to beleive the A was "love" to not feel used. I am just going to stand back, she is very up front with her time and checks in with me when she is out. Besides, if she were to resume the A, it would require so much lying, smoke and mirrors, I would sniff it out in a second.

Then tonite, before she left to go out with a friend, as she was leaving, she came up to me, hugged and kissed me, and said ILY. Was a little forced, but it felt real. Are things going exactly as MB says...No. Are we making a LITTLE progress...yes.

A man dying of thirst will drink from a muddy puddle and mistaken it for Spring Water...

Please take no offense
....

BEtrayed...Betrayed, do yourself a favor and..

Walk gently.

Be careful what you wish for, the dips in the rollercoaster are deeper than we ever imagined. Enjoy the good times, the glimmers of hope, only a pessimistic would suggest otherwise, but also recognize that it's not baby steps you need. Baby steps are way too big right now, SLOW YOUR HEART big fella...sssslllllooooooooooowwwwwwwwwww.....your HEART. Be still. There's so much I'd love to tell you, so many ideas from my experiences on the rollercoaster. God Bless you for even ridding the darn thing, but accept that ridding it doesn't promise you'll enjoy the ride.

Good luck!

Posts like this scare me....

I used to make them all the danged time and then...


OPPPPSS <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

a


DIP!

SLOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

but by all means...ENJOY IT!

it fortifies you to deal with the next dip...


Stay the COURSE...

<small>[ February 26, 2005, 11:35 PM: Message edited by: FamilyMatters ]</small>

Yeah, the ILY's I've been getting seem hollow somehow, but they are still I love you's and I am greatful for that.

Things are so strained between us when we have talked, that I can barely stand it. I know I love him, I know I want him back, and he seems to be coming around, but I don't know how you get around the tension when you do reconcile....any comments on that??

-Caren

I never get any ILY's. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> I did get "I still have love for you"...a while back. Oh well...his loss!!!!! Someone will love me with all their heart one day. I have faith and hope for that!!!!

Betrayed Man....that's great. Just be cautious!

I still get ILY's but they don't mean anything to me anymore.Like someone else mentioned they are hollow and I know he tells the homewrecker the same thing although he won't admit it.ILY like a brother or sister type or "just friends", like we haven't heard THAT before. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I am not trying to rain on your parade BM but I believe that love is not always enough.That actions are what speak to us and that love is a verb.Ya know? Take it for what it is worth right now.

Does your WW have any books or information that speaks to how "IN LOVE" feelings do not last and what you have for her is what is real,long lasting TRUE love??? It probably wouldn't matter anyway but I was just curious.We need to post a news flash to the WORLD about being "in love".It doesn't LAST!

O

actions speak louder than words,actions speak louder than words.....