Hello All,
Sorry in adv. for the lg. post.
It's been quite some time since I have posted here. I have been loosely sticking to plan B (I had pretty much given up hope <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> ) as it has been 4 mo. since I have said anything about "us" with little to no contact w/my WH,as he is still living w/OW. They have been having "problems"-BIG SUPRISE. Then approx.4 days ago my sister was hosp. w/ a blockage in her intestine and told she has a 50/50 chance(BTW-she is not better and has not been operated on,very long story , please pray for her as well(Thur). So I emailed him to let him know that I may have to go to Fla. and he would have to help w/our daughter. He emailed back, saying that he'd pray for her and was concerned etc,he even called later that day to see how she and I were doing(He never does that). We then had to meet at the bank for some business the next am.
And I don't know what came over me but I spilled it and had written a letter. I said that I did still want him back I wanted our marriage to work and I still loved him, I realized my part. We talked for a few min, but he had to get back to work and I to school he said we would "talk".

Well yesterday,(He called me)for the first time we had an honest,sincere 1 hour conversation. He said he was confused and admitted where he had fouled up. He even asked that I set him up an email account, and re-send him the letter I wrote him on Fri. I asked if I could also send trueheart's letter. He said yes. He said he would try to call me back last night, but he was supervising and I guess wasn't able to or maybe didn't want to*(I don't know <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ). I checked the email acct.and he read & saved truehearts letter. Now I don't know what to do. Plan A ,plan B ??? I have my sister's illness,two exams this week(I am a full time student,now)I can't concentrate and I'm not certain whether to let him absorb it all and let him call me back when he's ready. I want to call this instant, but I'm trying to be sensible. I went for a 2 mi. walk last night that turned into 6.(Much frustration!!)

Help Please <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Well, I think the MB plan suggests that you do not discuss relationship while the WS is still living or having contract with the OP. That will just encourage him to fence set.

Did you do a good Plan A?

Hello Believer,

In the very beginning no, I did everything you weren't supposed to do. (I had not found this site as yet) Then a calmer head,(and more reasonable info. from this site) prevailed. I did try plan A and either it was too late for him or he was too much in the "fog" to want it. I then tried plan B and have other than contact only to discuss our child or sale of our home etc. No "relationship" talk w/a couple of very minimal slipups near Christmas. I have done my very best to get on with my life, I am caring for my daughter the best way I can,returned to college after a 17 yr absence,I am seeing a wonderful therapist and I moved out of "our" home into my own apt.(hoping to build a home this summer w/ an asistance program(due to my minimal income). I did everything he didn't expect me to and more. I know he thought I'd curl up in a corner somewhere. But I didn't <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I feel certain that my letter and discussion with him Friday was stemming from my sisters situation and my general loneliness and the plain fact that I still love him and want it to work. But, what came out of that the most honest and real conversation we have had since this all started. Hence my confusion/frustration.


Will be married 18 yrs on 7/4/05
1st DDay 6/04,2nd 7/10/04 His 1st OW felt compelled to call and let me know I could have him back.(wasn't that sweet of her) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> She found out about his 2nd and current OW and was just ticked off not out of the kindness of her heart.
Me-37
Him-39(40 on 3/26)
OW-42
Daughter-16
Moved out on 7/5/04
Moved in w/2nd OW 2 wks after moving out,she had just kicked her 2nd husband out.

I suggest you continue working on YOUR life. I did the same. At first I cried all the time, and walked around like a zombie. But I got it together and went on with my life. Now I still work full time, and have started a property management business. My WH is still with OW, but calls me and says he loves me, and that I am doing so well, and blah, blah, blah. I just ignore him. There has to be less talk and more action.