</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> SM - shhhh! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Maybe so! Maybe so!

SM

SM,
Hopefully if that is the case our thread starter can lend us some thoughts on the " agitator" identity.

not a loser....is this your WW?

Yes!

And that is how she truly views the Affair. Those are the views I get at home.

My first thought on reading this thread:

FrederickGirl, you're I'm-Not-A-Loser's wife, aren't you?

Whoever you are, you are thinking of no one but yourself. A FWS who had truly ended an affair would concentrate on helping their betrayed spouse to recover and to heal from the pain they have suffered. The LAST thing they'd be doing would be trying to get crumbs of attention from their (former) affair partner and snarling at their spouse to get over it and leave them alone.

INAL, your wife is still a WW whether she's actually still seeing her OM or not. She still has no thought for anyone but herself and no care for anything but her own selfish desires.

When WW leaves and your W returns, you will know it because she'll do everything in her power to protect your feelings and help you heal. But as long as you are willing to tolerate WW, there is virtually no chance that W will return.

It is true that you cannot "make" WW stop what she is doing. But you do have the power to remove yourself from the situation and refuse to let yourself be treated so cruelly and disrespectfully any longer. As long as you are afraid to do this, WW will continue to run the show.
Mulan

I am not this man's wife.
Those are my personal oppinions of his problem, nothing else. I am not a clone of MB,like many here.
Thank you.

INL,
Here's my take:

Your wife is still in contact with OM. By this, I mean she is communicating with him in some fashion that you are unaware of. I'm sorry.

Reason: 9 months later and OM is CHANGING his away messages still 'assuming' she is reading them? Uhm, at 9 months of not doing anything or knowing anything, most of that relationship is dead.

One thing I can promise you, is that when you (if) you two pull through this time, you will get to a point when you look back at this time period with a great deal of anger/resentment, at least, that is what happened for me. Questions about your manhood will take a more prominent role in your mind around how you mentally allowed this rather than questions about your manhood in bed. It's time to stand up for yourself.

Frederick Girl,

Welcome to MB forums. Regardless of your story or mental mindset, you are welcome here. Perhaps, as you say, there is a "cloned" MB response but it is a response that has been shown to save marriages.

Perhaps some day you will feel safe enough to share your story and the impetus for you being here. Until then feel free to comment on all aspects of our forum from your unique perspective. This can be a a very stimulating, eye-opening, frustrating and safe place to bring your marital problems.

<small>[ February 28, 2005, 05:12 PM: Message edited by: Cymanca ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I am not this man's wife.
Those are my personal oppinions of his problem, nothing else. I am not a clone of MB,like many here.
Thank you.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Frederick Girl - Enough about what you "aren't." I'm more interested in hearing you answer the questions that have been put to you BEFORE listening to, or giving any weight to, your OPINIONS.

Seriously Girl, WHY are you on this site? It seems patently obvious right now that it is NOT to get any help for yourself or for your situation. It is obvious from your above statement that you little, if any, respect for Marriage Builders or it's precepts. So are you going to tell us what your situation is, what brought you here, and what help we might be to you, or are you simply going to go on looking like a refugee from the TOW board or someone from the past like SNL?

Opinions are plentiful, but you've done nothing to indicate that your opinions should be given any consideration or weight, by training or experience, over anyone else's opinion. They are a lot like Anal Sphincters, everyone's got one. So what makes you the "opinion of choice?" A proctologist by training? The experience of having stayed at a Holiday Inn Express? Or just the type of person who has an opinion on every subject?

So how can we help YOU, or let us in on why you think you can help others even if you don't need any help yourself.