Must have posted in the wrong place. Last night was my first night posting. Was up all night last night also. I posted two posts under Divorce. I noticed as I read that people kept mentioning GQII. I finally figured out that this is you. So now that I know that... Do I need to repost or just start talking again? Not sure but since it is 6:11am again I know I need to do something. I am leaning on God. I am doing my best to not fall into a pit of selfish pity. I did find Plan A and Plan B today and read other posts and parts of MB that have so much helful information in them.
Last night (or yesterday morning to be more precise) I was crying and talking my H out loud (and no he wasn't here) and I thought "get out the tape player and tape what your saying". Then I thought "why"? The question to myself was interesting. What did I expect to do with that tape? Did I expect to send it to him in the mail now? Do I expect that he would listen to it? NOT. Okay then, I would save it and IF we were ever reconciled I would have him listen to it then. Yes, that's what I would do. Let him hear all the pain he put me through during this time. Oh my Lord! How crazy is that??? If we were to reconcile I sure would not be in a place to even be THINKING about the past??? I would have had to have forgiven him and moved on!!! And why am I thinking all of this NOW??? We aren't even divorced yet!
I wound up sitting on my bed and crying that deep down mourning cry and just reach down for my Bible, picked it up and started reading. By the time I read a few chapters, especially the one that said "Lo, I am with you always" I felt so much better and was able to finally fall asleep.
I know it's going to get easier but <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> it hurts.
Have You Seen Me? AMBERLI MAE PRICE Amberspage {{{snuggles}}} Teddy Bear
