I am the BM in the relationship, it has been 6-7 weeks since NC between the FWW and the OM. We are in recovery right now and things are looking up. But, every once in awhile I still get uneasy feelings like W may regress back towards contact with OM, or other signs of backwards progress. In other words anxiety and worry. Dont get me wrong, I think things are headed in the right direction, W has shown nothing but commitment at this point, but is it normal to feel a little anxious still, this young after DD?

Welcome to marriagebuilders. It is a great place to be under the circumstances. Stick with us and we will help you through this. There are a ton of men going through the same thing - I hope they will answer you.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> is it normal to feel a little anxious still, this young after DD? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Actually, it is normal to feel a lot anxious at this point.

Are the two of you in MC to work through the meaning of her A?

Good luck.

Pep

MC underway and helping alot. But yeah, anxious,anxious,anxious

jonah, if you weren't anxious I'd be worried about you.

As things are improving, especially when they get to the point where you don't think you need counseling anymore....go a little longer to counseling. Think of if like completing the prescription of an antibiotic to fight that infection you had....finish the whole presrciption and don't quit when you "start to feel better."

Jonah, recovery takes and average of two years. Yours may take less than the average, but probably not by much. So "stay with the program" as things seem to be getting better. Recovery from adultery WILL have some ups and downs along the way before reaching "recovered."

God bless.

Hello jonah,

Glad you are with us.

It is normal for you to feel anxious and a whole host of other emotions too.You have been through one of life's most terrible traumas.Like FH mentioned,you will have conflicting emotions too about whether or not you should really stay or leave,you don't think it's working and other days where you feel good,etc.If you recognize that this is expected,you can just ride out those emotions and keep your eye on the goal: Recovery.Remember that.

Much luck to you and your W!

O

Be careful of MB.

Now, everyone settle down, I will explain. I believe spending too much time on here can make you overly paranoid. Healthy paranoia is ok. I know with me, I have to limit my time, or I just look into everything W does, often reading her wrong.

One thing you should try to do is not overanalyze everything your W does, it will drive you nuts. I know!

Betrayed Man,

Wow, this is something I used to worry about a LOT! Not so much now, but I worried that RH would read about other WS and then think maybe I was that way, too! Fortunately he was able to separate our situation from others....still, I agree with you, it can be dangerous to spend too much time here, and if you do, just be aware that it can happen.

Jonah -
As the FWS, I can tell you I was anxious and worried for quite some time after d-day, as well as my husband. Even I worried that I would regress or slip back and try to contact OM somehow. So just be on the alert, don't let your guard down too soon, but don't obsess either.....I know, tall order, huh? Right now the anxiety is serving a good purpose. Just don't let it run away with you, because that can hinder progress, too.

Best wishes to you and your wife!


NOW

<small>[ March 01, 2005, 07:56 AM: Message edited by: notonlywords* ]</small>