Greetings,

I haven't been on here since Christmas. After the emotional draining I experienced, I had an epiphany. I realized that I did not love my WW at all. So I didn't come around here for a bit, and decided to try and enjoy life for a change.

Well...that only lasted for a little over a month. My WW comes by to visit the kids and says an ignorant comment that went something like this:

"If you receive a certified letter in the mail, don't sign for it, because it may be P.A. letting you know that they have charged you for those plants." Well, I think that most of us know that that isn't how it works. So I knew that she knew that something was up. A few days later, I sensed danger, and looked out of my front door window to see two cops approaching. I informed my mother that they were here for me, and to call my lawyers. Sure enough, they said that they had a warrant for my arrest in P.A. So I calmly cooperate, though my instincts were not to, as I have done nothing wrong. Luckily, it was 11pm and the children were in bed.

So I am sitting in the county jail, no bail set, no word, nothing. I call my mother and instruct her to do whatever it takes to prevent my WW from snagging the kids. So she files for full custody, and her lawyer was very aggressive and put all kinds of sh*t in the petition that did nothing but p1ss my WW right off.

So I finally get bail, and we go to court. My mom had to file against both of us in order to file for custody. Well...the judge barely let my mom's lawyer speak, and allowed WW's lawyer to do most of the talking. He goes off about the charges due to my WW's false statement against me. I was never spoken to, asked if I need a lawyer, or anything. The judge ignored the allegations in the petition (which prove that my WW is unfit), didn't allow me to explain why I had charges in P.A., and let my WW take my kids out of school and back to that snake pit of a house, which is still full of alcoholics and drug addicts. OM got early release, and is living there right now.

So...I am very, very, very p1ssed. I absolutely hate ALL cops and judges right now, as well as district attornies, whose only job is to [censored] people over, even innocent ones.

So later on, I find out that my WW had a miscarriage, because she and OM fooled around on the road somewhere to or from jail, because of his work release. She also had an ovarian cyst, and her A enabling/supporting mom has fibrosis and needs a DNC. So at least Karma is taking care of somethings. On that note, I avoided the roughest part of jail and was put in the nicest part. I was told that was highly unusual, because you have to be an inmate for 30 days in order to get put there (I was in jail for a total of 4 1/2 days before bail was set and paid). So at least someone or something is looking out for me a little bit...

So I have all kinds of dirt on WW, her closest relatives, her friends, her associates...and I let her know it. I am darker than ever, and I want absolute revenge for my plight, and for my children. They come back reeking of cigarette smoke, they are eating mostly McD's and pasta...no OJ or any veggies...only bubble baths, no showers (and both children are having reactions to the bubble bath). And it all happened because no one, not even my mom's expensive yet crappy lawyer, would listen to me about the UNIFORM CHILD CUSTODY JURISDICTION ACT. It wasn't 6 months, judge was a woman, so there you have it.

So I see my WW today at court for the support she owes from when I had the kids. She is being all friendly, because of a phone conversation that went like something like this:

Dimmu:"So are you going to let me have the kids back full time or what?"

WW:"I don't know."

Dimmu:"Ah, so you mean no."

WW:"No, I mean I don't know...you can't have them the whole summer"

Dimmu:"You gave me your word that I could raise the kids and that you would never take them away from me, could stick by your word for at least once in your life?"

WW:"I don't want to talk about this right now..."

Dimmu:"So, your saying no then?"

WW:"I don't know..."

Dimmu:"Ok, thats all I wanted to know, thanks, and I'll see you in court" *CLICK*

This apparently scared her a little bit, because deep down, she knows that if we fight it (especially after I sue the DA and the cops and get the charges dropped), she will lose the kids FOREVER. So she is being all friendly, then "starts" to cry, and asks me not to ask for the kids for a while. She then says that death is knocking at her door, and she wants to spend as much time with the kids as possible (BS!!! She just had a miscarriage and an ovarian cyst...this is her trying to manipulate me into feeling that she is a victim, which is why she hasn't been charged for the plants, and why she gets away with forging her sister's name on a check, and countless other things she has done). So, I am flabbergasted, because that sh*t has NEVER worked on me since her first A (fool me once....). So I say, "Well, hate the way this is going to sound, but I have options WW. So many options, its sick. So if I am to believe you and not use my options, then you need to prove to me that death is knocking at your door."

After court, we sat in her van talking. I started to cry, and I don't know why...because I have met someone that I actually feel something for (though we aren't in an R, and cannot be at this time for reasons I will not explain at this time), and I absolutely loath my WW. I think it was just the pain from what she has done. She explained a few more things about the A and how it started. She pursued OM at work, and moved him in. They were having sex during this time. He cheated on her during this time, because I was still in the house and she told him that no one...even OM...couldn't satisfy her orally the way I could. She claims he did it to "get back at her". So that made me feel a little better, but she is just probably lying about that as well. She then begged me not to use that against her or OM, because she fears that I will ruin his life, because when I'm hurt...I tend to be able to say things that will sting a person for life.

I asked her if he is aware that she is a serial cheat who does all of this same sh*t when her BF/H
starts to argue back after they get sick of her bullcrap. She answered that they have talked about it, and that he is quite aware of the risk he is taking (so aware that he wants to try to have another baby with her). So I basically insulted him. Oh yeah...I almost forgot...she brought OM with her to drop the kids off for visitation on Friday. This of course, was pure evil, and a HUGE mistake, which is another reason why she is begging and pleading and being nice (the incident prompted me to find the name and phone number of his probation officer). He didn't look at me until they drove away. From the safety of her van, he then turns, smiles at me and waves...big mistake.

So she is now afraid that I will take everyone down to make her feel guilty for her evil ways. I have constructed a plan to go over with my attorney to get the D.A. down there to put pressure on WW until she turns in who gave her the plants, or she gets charged. Either way, I win, and can get my children back to the safety and security of my house. In the process, I will expose child abuse, drug and alcohol abuse, as well as many other things going on in her family.

Sorry for how long this is, I could have gone on and on...as I said, its been a while since I was on here. So much is going on that I can barely stand it, but in a weird way, I am feeding off of it and becoming stronger and more determined. I have religious people stopping by and they pray and beg that I'll let God handle it. Well, I don't think He will, so it's up to me to take care of it, as usual. They, as well as a couple of my friends and family members are afraid that I will
do something irrational. They are all ignorant, for I will use the law to my advantage to come out on top of all of this...at least I hope so. I no longer pray, but I refuse to curse His name. I think of Job, and what he went through, but I can't help but feel forsaken.

I haven't read any posts in a while, so I hope everyone on here is ok, or at least doing better.

Dimmu

*edited for spelling

<small>[ March 02, 2005, 04:43 PM: Message edited by: Dimmu ]</small>

Dimmu,

I will say some prayers since you are not. This situation sounds absolutely unbearable! I am so sorry that this has happened. Stay strong, and please consider seeking help and letting those around you help you. <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

star*fish,

Thank you for your prayers. The situation did seem unbearable, and it still does sometimes, but I feel that if I use the proper tactics, I will come out on top with my kids by my side. If not, then there is no justice.

As far as seeking help...most of the people in my life are still saying that I should sit and wait to see what happens. Well, that doesn't work at all, and seems to make my sitch even worse. I am on my own for now, though my WW doesn't know that. She knows that I do not lie, and she knows that I have at least two lawyers...a very good and expesnsive NY lawyer to fight extradiction if I or my P.A. attorney cannot get the D.A. to listen to reason, and my P.A. marijuana lawyer (thats all he does...defends people who have pot charges). Plus, I will get a family law attorney here in NY, and P.A. if need be, once I get the charges to go away. I always told her that my family will not stand by and let me be screwed, that they will get loans if need be...and that is exactly what happened. So I at least have financial support for my sitch. Other than that, its just me and my attornies.

I also am in counseling. I guess people normally react violently or irrationally in these sitches, because I had to reassure my counselor that I wasn't going to go postal. I have to explain: "Why would I do that when I have all of this dirt that I can use, when the right time comes?" The whole sitch does seem like I am in the twilight zone though...

Dimmu

flag to: weaver, TooMuchCoffeeMan, Orchid, Ark^^, b0b pure*, aussieswife, anyone else that has given me advice...I need insight...

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Dimmu:
<strong> As far as seeking help...most of the people in my life are still saying that I should sit and wait to see what happens. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Dimmu:

What do you mean by "wait and see what happens". In what context do they mean that.

LM

Lemonman,

They think that I should halt my investigations, "leave them alone" (because my investigations have cause dissention between many people involved with all the negative things happening to me), let them hurt themselves (while my kids suffer-they think that I should allow things to happen that isn't in the best interest of the children just so that my WW buries herself), etc.

For example, I found out that my 6 y.o. DD has been getting on and off of the bus without an adult since my WW took my children. They live on the busiest street in the city, and we know a 15 y.o. boy that almost got kidnapped...right up the road from WW's house. I called my WW and said "Look, an adult HAD BEST be out there EVERYDAY BOTH TIMES, because if anything happens to my kids because of your ignorance, I have NOTHING to lose, and I won't give a sh*t about those charges!" Needless to say, my daughter has my WW's sister get her on and off of the bus. Most do not agree with my method, but I could care less about people's thoughts and feelings at this point...I have to do what I can to protect my children who are in a state that I am essentially in exile from. People say "Man, you can use that against your WW!" and I reply "I have enough to use against her, I will not risk my children's health and safety".

Another prime example is that everyone thinks I should be extra nice to WW and OM, because they have the charges and the children as leverage. Well...I do not think so. They think that I shouldn't get her sent to prison, or take down any of her relatives. Ludicrous, just plain ludicrous. I am truly alone where I am...

These same people also thought that the charges would "blow over" and that P.A. would never try to extradite me over some plants my WW and OM were growing. Sometimes, ignorance prevails I guess...

Dimmu

Dimmu:

YOur WW is a vile, scum sucking heathen. Fog or no fog, I am hoping beyond hope that you pay this woman back a million times over for what she has done to you and your children. I know this is just my anger talking. This is such a profoundly sad situation. I am seething mad and I am not the least but involved in your situation. I can't imagine the gut wrenching anger and fury you must live with every day knowing this is happening to you and your children. There is NO WAY you can survive this wothout having a higher power to guide you. It is just not humanly possible. I pray for you my friend. May God give you the courage and peace and strength to make it through these times.

LM

Lemonman,

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">YOur WW is a vile, scum sucking heathen. Fog or no fog, I am hoping beyond hope that you pay this woman back a million times over for what she has done to you and your children. I know this is just my anger talking. This is such a profoundly sad situation. I am seething mad and I am not the least but involved in your situation. I can't imagine the gut wrenching anger and fury you must live with every day knowing this is happening to you and your children. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you very much for your understanding and support. I completely concur with your thoughts and feelings. One of the reasons why I stopped coming here to the boards was because after my epiphany...when I realized how much abhorrence I had for my WW...I had nothing good to say. I have made friends on these boards, and I was worried that I would end up offending someone. But you are right, and have been all along. I was once in the fog myself. Looking back over the past few months, I just cannot fathom what I was thinking, trying to win her back...the memories make me feel unclean. At the very least, I was temporarily insane.

My children are being torn apart. They cry and say they miss me when I call them. This weekend, my daughter was trying to help her little brother, tried to reprimand him when he was misbehaving, tried to correct him when he was wrong...like a mother. She always acts like this when my WW wasn't paying enough attention to them, or doing the things a mother is supposed to do. I had to remind her that she doesn't have to be like that, that I am here and will take care of them both when they are with me. She is so smart. I think that in all of the chaos of that madhouse they live in, she realizes that someone has to be the mom. I will NEVER forgive my WW for what she has done...


</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There is NO WAY you can survive this wothout having a higher power to guide you. It is just not humanly possible.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm not sure what is guiding and driving me in this sitch...I practically ceased all prayer and most of my spiritual studies in the wake of my incarceration and loss of my children. When I look back on my life, the happy moments were few and fleeting. If I am being guided by a higher power, I am not aware of it. I refuse to renounce my faith, but I do not feel very much of it anymore. It has gone from hoping that God will help my children to realizing that I am in a game of chess, and that I am the only piece on my side.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I pray for you my friend. May God give you the courage and peace and strength to make it through these times. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thank you, LM. I truly appreciate it. I just hope that God protects my children. They truly need it where they are...

Dimmu

Dimmu,

Wow, sorry to hear of all the trauma/drama befalling you and your family. It is sad sooo sad that a WS inflicts such harsh stupidity on you and your little ones. It w/b hard for your daugther to forget.

I don't really know what to say except stick to a safe and legal plan. Seems like you are getting all your ducks in order and will do what it takes to bring the children back to a safe environment. Glad to know your family is helping out.

Not to happy to hear about a judge and DA who can't listen to both sides before playing their respective parts when it comes to rendering judgement. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Down right shame and that's what makes people upset at the 'system'.

Hang tough there, think you have a few more bumps in the road ahead but glad you are keeping yourself above it all.

All the best,
L.

Orchid,

Many thanks for your words of support. I will be doing everything within my power to right these wrongs. I need my children, and my children need me. I do expect the road to get a lot more rough ahead, but I shall prepare myself to the best of abilties.

These tribulations, and my determination to get through them remind me of the chorus from one of my favorite songs of all time. The song is called "The 9th Day: Awakening" by the band "Solitude Aeturnus":

CHORUS:
Strombringer, hear me!
Down for days
The rain will end
Strombringer, hear me!
Down for days
Free again

Dimmu

Dimmu......
Be careful here... you have seen how the legal system works and yet it seems you are putting your whole life into the system that let you down in the first place. It is good to have information to present to the court system in your behalf but unfortunately as you know so well it doesn't always work as we perceive it should. You also indicate an alternative if things don't go your way and the alternative doesn't sound good. This may be the time to step back and get a grip perhaps with some counseling and evaluate the paths that will give you more control......rather than being at the mercy of "the system"

ecxpa,

I hear what you're saying. I'm not putting my life in the system...in fact, I'm fighting it with everything I've got. The great thing about NY state, is that the laws here aren't as puritan or draconian as the ones in PA. If the DA in PA wants to throw the book at me, and won't look at the evidence and everything else I have, then I plan to go ahead with my NY to block extradition. I will be in exile from PA for 5 years, which is the statute of limitations for a warrant for my arrest in PA.

However, if that happens I will sue the DA and the cops involved in the case, with lawsuits based on:

1.Discrimination-for not charging my WW whose name is on the lease, who had the grow lights on a when they were raided...plus her grow room was in a room accessable from her/OM's bedroom.

2.Malicious Prosecution-this one is a no-brainer once all of the facts are laid out on the table.

3.Intention Infliction of Emotional Distress-if a BS can sue an OP/WS for this, why can't any person who is suffering from emotional distress sue another person who is intentionally inflicting it?

4.Libel-My name and the false charges were printed in the local paper down there.

I can also petition the family court in NY to overturn the judges decision to let the kids go to PA, and provide the court with the evidence that shows that the kids are in an emergency sitch, and that the allegations I face in PA are false. NY may then choose to assume jurisdiction. My lawyer has court transcripts from when OM was in court where he admits to having a bag of pot and a pipe next to the bed, which proves my WW was fine with it being there.

If that fails, my mom can petition for full custody in PA, arguing that if PA's charges against me are true, and the charges against WW's brother (who lives there) and OM are true, then WW is fine with having drugs in the house and around the kids, proving her to be unfit. Basically she would be saying "So if you are saying all three are guilty, then WW obviously allowed it to go on." This twists thier case around and uses thier charges against me in our favor. My mom would bring the kids back to NY, I would file for full custody, and my mom wouldn't contest it. I would then move to get the charges dropped or sue.

At the moment, I can't fight the charges, because my case is in "limbo". My PA attorney says thier case against me is rough at best, and they don't have any plans to do anything yet. He also said that the warrant PA issued was unusual, and that they basically tried to trick me into signing extradition papers. In fact, when I was in the local police station when I was picked up, the NY cops called the PA cops to say they had me. The PA cop asked the NY cop to ask me if I was going to fight extradition. My answer was a simple "yes". The guards in the jail asked me about three times if I was going to sign the papers. "I'm not doing anything until I talk to my lawyer!" Right now PA is trying to get WW's brother to plead guilty to possesion, or they'll add the manufacturing (growing in PA) charges. I assume that is thier plan for me as well, as no one has been charged with the growing yet.

I have been doing my homework...and this is just an inkling of what I have cooking. My WW, OM, the DA, and the state police had best be prepared, because I will drag this out for YEARS. All I have to do is coordinate things with my attornies, so that I don't do anything prematurely that would negate anything I can use.

Dimmu

<small>[ March 01, 2005, 12:12 AM: Message edited by: Dimmu ]</small>

Dimmu,

Glad to finally see an update. Not really the one we hope for, but atleast your still fogging the mirror. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Often wondered about you. Thought maybe you went back to your unrepentant WW and were to ashamed to tell us.

Don't really know what to say, but I think LMan put it very nicely. So will leave it at that.

Will keep you in my thoughts and send some positive universal energy your way. You need all the help you can get, so why not get it from the best (God), as the others have said. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Stay above the law Dimmu, and remain strong. You are sounding fiesty, and that is a lot better than the alternative.

I agree utterly with LMan.

I have no advice for a situation like yours Dimmu, its beyond drama.

I will only say while you have an INALIENABLE right to your hatred of WW and OM do not let that corrupt your right thinking.

You need to do anything ANYTHING to wrest those babies out of sodom.

Kiss [censored] in court, anything. Once you have your babies you can sort amongst the rubble for stones to use in rebuilding your lives.

I am sorry that you are in this sh*t. I am glad you are so strong though. Be all your kids need.


{{{{dimmu}}}}

Thank you weaver and b0b pure* for posting, and for your support in this matter.

But now I must rant a bit...

My WW is having problems with her van, and decided to not spend any of her tax return to fix it, so now she is saying that I can't see the kids each weekend...I knew that this was coming. And I can't talk to her on the phone without the dirtbag, coward, spineless weakling of an OM saying some ignorant crap in the background. I then cannot help but insult him for it. He won't talk to me, because he is a loathsome loser, and he is afaid that I may say some truths about my WW and the situation he is in that would shatter his little fantasy.

I spoke with my attorney from PA again. He isn't aggressive enough. He doesn't understand that I want to use the system to destroy my WW and OM for what they have done. I may have to fire him soon. If they don't end up in prison for what they have done, then I will know for sure that the system is worthless.

So my 6 y.o. DD is going around saying "Frickin' this, frickin' that..." and I am asking her how on Earth she thought that she could say that word. "Mommy says it, and lets me say it." So I call WW, and mention it, and this is her response..."Whats wrong with the word frickin'?" My response: "You are one of the most ignorant people I have ever met thus far in my life. You go ahead and ask DD's teacher what is wrong with the word frickin'. Because, if DD says it in school, the teacher will want to know why DD is saying it."

There is a little nook off of the living room, in the SIX bedroom house my kids are living in. This nook is my DS's room. His door/wall is a SHEET. My DD is still sharing a room with the daughter of one of the simpletons. The little girl wets the bed and messes up my DD's stuff.

My DD mentioned this weekend that she is can't talk to my WW and is afarid too. She said that WW and OM spend all of thier time hanging out in the bedroom.

My DS had a bruise on his back and forehead, and a nasty rug burn on his belly. He told me that an "older kid" who lives at his A-having aunt's place has been rough housing with him...and this aunt also sleeps while watching my kids.

I could go on and on...but right now, it would only serve to enrage me further. I am trying to stay calm and rational...for now.

So my frustration is beyond measure, and I burn with absolute hatred and rage for my WW, OM, and all of the other simpletons that my kids have to live with. When I have gathered up enough evidence, I will proceed with a family law attorney to overturn the judges decision. And once I get the charges cleared up, I'll sue the judge for sending my kids into hell. This whole situation has made me want to sue lots of people. Also, I aquired the name of OM's probation officer, and the phone # to his office. Last I knew, OM didn't have a liscense, and he has been seen driving twice. One way or the other, I will pay them back...using the system to do it.

Sorry for the rant and the lack of any good news, but I needed to let it out some.

Dimmu

Dimmu.....I share your pain but I must say again that the legal system may not be your rescue here. Please consider counseling to help you look at other alternatives to relieve your pain. Unfortunately, our legal system could give a "hog wallow" about a betrayed spouse's pain. The wheels of justice grind slow as far as the legal issues you have rightly raised; I see a person who needs help now.....please get it.

ecxpa, I am seeing a counselor, and no matter what...my children won't be coming back to me, unless I do something. No amount of counseling is going to change my sitch, but it does help me. My pain will be relieved when my children are safe with me again, when they are no longer living with my WW in that snake pit that she calls a house.

The system is broken and flawed, this I know. But evidence is evidence, and I can prove that she is unfit. I just cannot accept that she has the kids, and will continue to have them. I refuse. The kids and I were doing great for a change, now everything is even more messed up than before.

WW is already worried that I will get the kids back, which is why she said the comment about "death knocking at her door". Its just a load of crap that she is currently using to get me to back off of the sitch, because she tries to manipulate. Its not going to work. She has until I get prepared with what I have, and when I hire a good family attorney and go over it with her. The lawyer that screwed up in the first place is refunding a good chunk of money, which will go into hiring a better, more experienced attorney. If she can prove that she is dying, then I will work out certain things with WW. But if I find out that she is lying (which she is), that will be just another thing I mention in court.

She is already talking about me not seeing the kids each weekend, like she promised before. No counseling will fix that, either. The wheels of justice may grind slow, but without my kids, I have nothing to lose. If my WW has to spend most of her free time in court, so be it.

This whole experience has me seriously thinking about law school.

Dimmu

Dimmu I see righteous fire in your belly over your kids !

Do not lose that until they are back with you. I will pray that you are successful soon in getting your children back.

Legal redress must be your first recourse. Try it mate and God speed you.

dimmu---where in pa are they?

dimmu,

I'm sorry to read your saga of horror.

One thing I would say: Keep your focus.

The one thing that must be #1 priority is getting your kids back and out of that situation.

Save revenge for later.

... and stay on the legal side.

-AD