My husband ended things and promised not to have any contact and as a part of that I got his calls and voice mail (until his work phone could be changed) and we put blocks on her e-mail and yet the e-cards still make it through.

I knew he had accepted one about a week ago but he denined it until he wrote me today forwarding me her e-card with a message that said "I hope you won't be too mad that I read this". he went on to say "you (me) get the calls and hear her voice messages curiosity got to me(him) you know curisoity ....kills the cat"

Well needless to say I was ticked he claims he did not contact her but in essance he did when he opened that card it sent a message to her automatically that said your card had been opened. Wa la she had a way to get him to read her thoughts and know he is!

What a love buster. I sent him my overdraft notice and wondered if he knew what message he sent this morning telling me that his promise to me, to us was thrown aside when he consciously said what she had to say was more important. He then fessed up to the fact she had sent one other one that he had not told me about and said he didn't because he knew it would make me mad.

So I guess the truth is only OK if it doesn't make someone mad and it is OK to lie as long as you do not get caught. How do we get beyond this.....?

I just am sick and now question everything. He said the card just confirmed that she was saying the same things, she was lieing and he really had no toughts about calling, e-mailing or asnwering her questions. He said it was the same thing she would send him each time he came home in the past and played on his emotions each time. This time he said he had no feelings other than it confirmed what type of a person she was and read it saying Blah Blah Blah.

Any help on how to get things on track and to rebuild trust and stop the lies!!! I know that he has got to take the responsilbity and make some major deposits. But is there anything I can do to help. He knows above all things in life one I value most and that is honesty!! Always has been and probably always will. He knows that no truth ever hurts as much as the lie!

He is at least making an effort. Sometimes it is very difficult for the WS to break contact. Is there any way he can change his screen name, or start a different account? That might help.

Also are you spending 15 hours a week doing fun things together?