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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions Husband likes to chat with women online

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Husband likes to chat with women online #1316319 03/01/05 08:48 AM
Joined: Mar 2005 Posts: 128 M Mainegirl OP Member
OP Mainegirl Member M Joined: Mar 2005 Posts: 128	I would like to know if I am wrong in feeling the way I do about my husbands online chats.. about a year ago I discovered that my husband had been secretly chatting with a female online and was planning on leaving me and our 4 kids to be with her. she ended the online affair but I found out about her/them. He said it was just a game and that he had no intention of going anywhere. he stayed and we went on with life but I was/am leary about his time on the pc because i have since found out that he has many profiles/ID's with various other women that he chats to (again he says it is all innocent and I am just being overpossesive and insecure). I might also note that i do now how he chats (he flirts very heavy). my question : Am I being overpossesive and insecure or am I right in my feeling the way I do?

Re: Husband likes to chat with women online #1316320 03/01/05 08:56 AM
Joined: May 2002 Posts: 6,087 The Great State of Texas! R RIF Member
RIF Member R Joined: May 2002 Posts: 6,087 The Great State of Texas!	Hi MaineGirl, Welcome to MB! It sounds like your H is involved in an emotional affair (EA) with these on-line women... EA's can be just as damaging to a marriage as an actual physical affair (PA)... Read up on the basic concepts here and let us know if there are any specific questions that we can help you with! Semper Fi, RIF

Re: Husband likes to chat with women online #1316321 03/01/05 09:07 AM
Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas M MelodyLane Member
MelodyLane Member M Joined: Apr 2001 Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 Texas	Mainegirl, there is nothing innocent at all about what your H is doing. Not only that, but it is not uncommon for online affairs to lead to real life affairs. You are much better off finding out what he is really doing and confronting him with the truth before it turns into a real life affair. If I were you, I would put spyware on his computer and see what he is doing. Maybe confronting him with the truth will put a stop to it. A good one is www.actmon.com home edition. And you should be VERY INSECURE about what your husband is doing right now, because it is very destructive to your marriage.

Re: Husband likes to chat with women online #1316322 03/01/05 09:16 AM
Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 673 S stillsosad Member
stillsosad Member S Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 673	Hi Mainegirl! Welcome to MB. You'll find a lot of good information and support here. Big red flag for me is: </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">He said it was just a game and that he had no intention of going anywhere </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">My H said the same thing when I found him just chatting with another woman online. You know, they talked about weather, life in general, etc. Yeah, like my H really cares about the weather in Buffalo NY! All the emails I finally located were leading up to phone calls as the next step and then meeting in person at some point. As you can see by my sig line, my H had multiple A's, many of which went to PA. I agree with ML. Find out more of what he is doing and confront. Take care. sss

Re: Husband likes to chat with women online #1316323 03/01/05 09:24 AM
Joined: Jun 2004 Posts: 2,813 S Suzet* Member
Suzet* Member S Joined: Jun 2004 Posts: 2,813	Mainegirl, You have all the right to feel concerned about your Hâ€™s behavior and you are NOT wrong for feeling this way... Your H is betraying you emotionally with this on-line woman. His secretive behavior and flirting is all signs of this. Itâ€™s not appropriate for any married person to chat in private with the opposite sex, flirting and keep it secret from the spouseâ€¦ As someone who has been involved in an inappropriate on-line (e-mail) relationship myself, I can tell you that on-line emotional betrayal and/or inappropriate behavior is just as dangerous and damaging as any other type of emotional betrayal. Your H is playing an extremely dangerous game and needs to stop. Please read this thread â€“ it will give you much insight: Internet infidelity Blessings, Suzet

Re: Husband likes to chat with women online #1316324 03/01/05 09:39 AM
Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 633 D DanigirlinVA Member
DanigirlinVA Member D Joined: Oct 2004 Posts: 633	Maine girl, You will get a lot of great advice here... I am sorry that you find yourself here, but it is the best place to be during such a rough time. Don't ignore the red flags. My WH (wayward husband) met his OW (other women) on yahoo... Internet affairs are real, and can turn into horrific physical affairs. Where in Maine are you? I couldn't help but notice <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> We are from Maine, and I am going back in a month <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Danielle <small>[ March 01, 2005, 08:40 AM: Message edited by: DanigirlinVA ]</small>

Re: Husband likes to chat with women online #1316325 03/01/05 09:46 AM
Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,187 F Formerly G.G. Member
Formerly G.G. Member F Joined: Sep 2004 Posts: 2,187	Welcome to M.B., Mainegirl - If you really want to know where this can lead, go to my thread (the world's longest)and read where my wife's on-line chatting has taken our marriage. My advice to you, tell him to stop it NOW and do not put up with it for one more day. There is nothing innocent about on-line chats. F.G.G.

Re: Husband likes to chat with women online #1316326 03/01/05 11:26 AM
Joined: Mar 2005 Posts: 128 M Mainegirl OP Member
OP Mainegirl Member M Joined: Mar 2005 Posts: 128	thanks all for making me feel welcome! Thanks for the link Suzet, it was an interesting read. Danigirl I live just north of Portland and south of Lewiston. whole lot of snowing going on today!! Have already loaded a spy program on home pc's and confronted him months ago. he has his work laptop that he uses and no longer uses our home pc's. cant trust me he says, hahaha. H says that he has created more ID's in spite of me and my snooping. H says that he just chats with these women because he likes southern hospitality (what?). he says he continues to chat/flirt because I continue to check up on him.

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