Can i WS really be caught up in to much stuff at one time he don't realize what the hell he is doing.my H says he has no good excuse for what hes done other than he was a fool.with no excuses that i'm giving him. he did work full time with overtime and went to school full time with nothing but homework.always had a co-w who needed to talk about her problems and was so forward about liking him and wanting to sleep with him.they did work together starting in july started talking about her problems in nov she was always pretty forward about her feelings before this. did admitt getting in her car tryed to have sex did'nt finish he was scared.but says he did keep calling her to talk. ended as soon as i found out.i will not give him excuses just want some input.with no excuses we hardly seen eachother from sept-dec due to work and school. he did see co-workers more than his family.

Thanks
LL

LL,

Yes, there are reasons - however no excuses for having an affair. Now that he has "discovered" his weakness for affairs - it's his job to protect himself from the possibility of having another one. It's time to get educated.

It's time for you to get educated as well, so you can learn how to affair proof your marriage as well. This site has excellent resources to help you do that.

Have you read Surviving An Affair? You can buy it from the bookstore on this website. Also another great book that deals extensively with workplace affairs is called Not Just Friends - by Shirley Glass.

Let us know how you're doing!

we have read both SAA and HN/HN.we know what we were missing and what we now can have. i just don't know how to get there.

LL,

I know what you mean. I couldn't have successfully recovered my marriage without marriage counseling. There's just too much that's counter-intuitive.

We counseled with Steve Harley. I can't begin to tell you how much pain we saved ourselves by coaching with Steve.

It's expensive, I won't kid you - but I made it a condition for my husband to give our marriage another chance. I just didn't think I could trust him without having an outside expert help us though this minefield.

As the BS, I was the worst at LBs...I also didn't understand what my part was in the marriage that created the conditions that we lived in. So I learned my lessons, and gratefully left my husband's lessons up to Steve and him.

Our recovery has happened and we use what we've learned continuously.

CSUE,
Thanks for the advice. we are seeing a MC in our area. Our second meeting is next week.I think it helps.to be honest we hav'nt told anyone but our Drs and thats because we needed meds for panic attacks.my H is now having a harder time then me.any advice on how to help him when i'm in so much pain.he thinks since i cry so much and want to talk about the two month A that one day i'm going to leave.hes says hes sorry and will spend his life making up for this.what can i do.


Thanks
LL