He says he made a mistake marrying me and I no longer have any love for him. After having another discussion with him, he seems to be blaming me for the pregnancy. He thinks I trapped him when I didn’t. He brought up two issues to justify himself: 1) that my family may have a reason to why I would have done it – my father is retired navy and after retirement was barely around, so he says I have abandonment issues. Definitely not the case… if anything I have become more independent. I am use to my situation with my father and I have a lot going for myself. After all, I am 25, have a degree from a good college, have had a steady job for 3 years now and was ready to buy a house in the DC area, on my own, this year. 2) He says it doesn’t make sense that I was with my exBF for 4 years and I was only with him for a year…. So why didn’t that happen with my ex. – I guess he needs to come up with something to justify himself but this one doesn’t work.

I know it will not work to explain myself every time but am I suppose to allow him to think I trapped him?

His EA with the OW is still going on and I’ve expressed my concern about him concealing any conversation with her but they are only “friends” so he thinks it is appropriate. I know this has an effect on him and why he wants out but I cannot take it anymore. I can no longer take the pain he is putting me thru. He is being selfish and will not consider our DD during all of this, even when he says he wants to be the best father in the world.

Please advise on how I should forward from here.

Typical revisionist history and blame shifting.

Straight from the WS screenplay.

Very, very, very typical.

Humor him. DO NOT take any of this crap seriously.

He HAS to do spew this crap. Otherwise, he has no excuses at all. The best WS defense (available) is their best offense (almost always pitiful).

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by much mahal:
<strong>

I know it will not work to explain myself every time but am I suppose to allow him to think I trapped him?

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">MM, he is not trapped. Tell him you are sorry he feels that way but you don't have the power to "trap" anyone in a free country. Tell him the door is always open. You would hate to see him leave, but he is a free man in a free country.

Like WAT said, quit taking him so seriously. He is spewing WS fogged out nonsense.

Here I go with my opinion again. Excuse me if I missed part of the story.
This man seems to want emotional control over you. Besides the fact he is being selfish, mean, a coward-not a man taking responsibility for his family, etc.. He is trying to switch the issue and look into your skeleton closet.
I would tell him, think what you want. I am not going to justify things to you until you are ready for therapy and/or get your lost mind back.
To me, he seems like a very insecure person seeking attention in different ways. He is filling his own skeleton closet voids with OW and obviously is not rationalizing the entire situation.
If he wants to walk out, let him! BUT not without a legal/binding agreement protecting you and your daughter. If he wants to dance...he has got to pay the fat lady to sing.
All of this will eventually catch up with him one day. All you can do is pray for guidance and strength to move on and pray for him. Hatred, anger, and resentment will bring you down. For your daughter’s sake, pray he will come to some type of rational mode and at least be a father.
Sorry for the strong opinion. I can't stand emotional conflict. Too me it is worse than physical abuse. I guess with strength it can all heal.

Jenny Baker, RN