Ok...I went to see my lawyer yesterday. I was so upset....
This is what my STBX is fighting for:

1. Full custody of our son
2. Order the house to be sold but he has the option to buy it.
3. He wants me to get life insurance on myself and name him as the beneficiary. ????
4. If he doesn't get full custody then he wants 50/50 which means I get no child support.

I was so upset! He is saying that he lives with his parents and they live a mile from his school. I live 5 miles from the school. My lawyer says that is to his advantage. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />
I don't know what to do. I can't imagine that a judge would give my STBX custody when he is the one that left us. I don't trust ANYTHING these days. I can't live without my son.....help!!!
My lawyer told me not to worry about it...how do I do that?????
My lawyer said she's never heard of a H asking the W to get a life ins. policy in a divorce. What is he doing? Is he going to have me killed???? I just don't understand all of this!!!!!!!
Any advice?????

Tree

Sounds like your WH has taken advice from an agressive lawyer and presented hisopening position. Your lawyer is exactly right. Don't worry. Ain't no way thats going to come true for him.

Wait until he sees your lawyers counter ! He'll poo his pants.

{{{{{tree}}}}}

I just can't belive that my STBX would do this! I never did anything. He's the one that left us and now he wants our son and to kick us out of our home??? UUGGGHHH!

I just can't belive that my STBX would do this! I never did anything. He's the one that left us and now he wants our son and to kick us out of our home??? UUGGGHHH!

((Tree))

“””Ok...I went to see my lawyer yesterday. I was so upset....
This is what my STBX is fighting for:”””

First what your husband wants, what he’ll settle for, and what he’ll get if this goes to trial are 3 different things. It’s typical for either side to throw out a crazy deal to start negotiations, but you have to start somewhere.

”””1. Full custody of our son”””

I would do the same thing and I’m sure you’d do the same thing.

”””2. Order the house to be sold but he has the option to buy it.”””

Are you living in the house? Are you in a position to “buy” him out if need be?

”””3. He wants me to get life insurance on myself and name him as the beneficiary.”””

It’s actually a good idea to maintain a Life Insurance policy for the protection of your son in case something happens.

“””4. If he doesn't get full custody then he wants 50/50 which means I get no child support.”””

I have no idea what kind of father your husband is, but if he is a good father then joint/shared custody is a good thing. If you’re only looking at the dollars and cents, then it won’t get you much support, but then again it may not eliminate either. In Kansas it would simply decrease the amount by 40-50%.

”””I don't know what to do.”””

In the divorce, fight for what’s best for you but in the custody thing fight for what’s best for your son. Many states can also order “Psychological Custody Evaluations”, granted they are costly but the Judge’s are likely to follow them. In my state, the courts are real hesitant to get involved in any custody matters and prefer that the parties reach agreement through mediation or 11th hour deals between the attorneys.

“””I can't imagine that a judge would give my STBX custody when he is the one that left us.”””

But is he a good father, regardless of the fact that he left the childs mother. I know it’s hard, but you have to separate your emotions for him as a husband and look at him as a father, that’s what most of the courts do.

“””My lawyer told me not to worry about it...how do I do that?”””

Well, that is why you hired an attorney. They obviously go through way more divorces than us and should have good knowledge of the tendencies of the Judge you’ll be in front of. Knowing what the Judges track record is pretty imperative to knowing how much you want to negotiate. Like if this peticular Judge doesn’t order shared Custody, which some Judges won’t, then if it isn’t in the best interest of your son, don’t agree to it, unless you also find out the Judge hates women….LOL