It seems to me that most M's are prone to an A. So the fear I have that this can happen again in my M, might only be because I am no longer one of the ignorantly blissed?

Since D-Day and finding this site and talking to others in my RL, it became clear to me how many A's happen.

Is a M that had an A more prone to another A if both partners understand what happen and take measures to never allow it to happen again. Or did my FWW take a bite of the apple?

Hemi-

Wow your wife is a former wayward already and D-Day was just in December...that's pretty quick.

Umm I think that your marriage is probably better protected against another affair because of your knowledge, yes. People who are in marriages that haven't been touched by an affair are blissfully ignorant, and no amount of you trying to tell them is going to make them think their sitch is any different.

Ask some of 'em, I'd put money on this answer "No, George would never think of cheating on me! And if he did, I would immediately divorce him." Well bull$h*t, don't speak of things you don't know. I've actually been one of the blissfully ignorant, it's a pleasant place to be although short lived.

-Caren

Some statistics I found on-line,

Infidelity statistics
It's tough to get a handle on how many of us are having affairs, given the inherent secrecy.

22 percent of married men have strayed at least once during their married lives.
14 percent of married women have had affairs at least once during their married lives.
Younger people are more likely candidates; in fact, younger women are as likely as younger men to be unfaithful.
70 percent of married women and 54 percent of married men did not know of their spouses' extramarital activity.
5 percent of married men and 3 percent of married women reported having sex with someone other than their spouse in the 1997.
22 percent of men and 14 percent of women admitted to having sexual relations outside their marriage sometime in their past.
90 percent of Americans believe adultery is morally wrong.
50 percent of Americans say President Clinton's adultery makes his moral standard "about the same as the average married man,'' according to a Time-CNN poll.
61 percent of Americans thought adultery should not be a crime in the United states; 35 percent thought it should; 4 percent had no opinion.
17 percent of divorces in the United States are caused by infidelity.

Source: Associated Press

I also found some other sources that state that the % are actually much higher due to untruthful answers. Some numbers go as much as 60-70%.
I never thought I would have to deal with a situtation like this. I thought my marriage was fine, I consider myself a good persons and I love my W endlessly, still she had multiple A, so I can't imagine whats going on so many other couple I see that have trouble.

CarenMC

Well when my wife confessed on 12/25/04 to me about the A, she already had NC for eight weeks. Well she ran into him at school on 12/23/04 and he confronted her. She told him she wanted never to see him because our M was back on track and she didn't want to mess it up. It was funny because she changed her cell number that day, so he had no way to ever contact her again. Well seeing him that day made her see how screwed up everything was. She said she needed to tell me and if I left because of it, it was my right and she would live with it. So she went through her fog on her own and worked on fixing our marriage before D-Day...so she was very clear and focused on doing whatever it took to make things right.

Reading all the posts here makes me appreciate what a good FWW I have. I generally don't pray, but I do for some folks here.

As for statistics.

My wife has three very close friends. Since D-Day she has told me stuff about them. She was suprised I knew stuff about their H. Two of the three W had EA/PA's. All three of the H's had EA/PA's. My Dad's first wife had a EA/PA that led to D. My wifes Dad had multiple EA/PA's against her mom that led to D. At my work 70% of the women here had some form of infidelity in their marriage. Lady sitting next to me has cheated on her H and her H has had three known PA's. Our COO's first wife had a EA/PA that led to a D. I have seen over the years so many friends cheat on their girlfriends, fiances and wives.

And a few months ago if you asked me...I'd say that my wife would never cheat on me.