Hey all
I just had a quick question. My WH has accused me of having a boyfriend.. Yeah right! I told him, thats a good one. Is that the best thing u can come up with.. I get up at 6 a.m every morning, i drop the kids off at school and daycare, i rush to work, leave work at noon, then rush to college where i am trying really hard to study and become a nurse, and then leave school, rush to daycare to pick up baby, rush home to make supper and help with homework, and then my homework.. then i take a bath, and bed, Is this man NUTS,, when the h** would i have time for someone else, when i told wh i loved him the other day, he said sure, and asked why,, i guess i was being a smarta** i said, i love you because you are so good to me and love me and treat me with so much respect...yeah right..I just get tired of playing the game with him, I did'nt do anything wrong, why should i be trying so hard and walking on egg shells... Duhhhh, i guess because im trying to save my marriage...and i really do love him, I see the man i married sometimes jump out of this body snatchers double he's become..but quickly retreats to the miserable, angry H , I don't recognize again.. I suppose if WH wanted to leav again, he would have done so by now... I just wish he would let me get close to him again.. why is he punishing me????
sorry for sounding crazy today..; thanks

The WS accusing the BS of an affair is VERY common. They are trying to justify what they are doing.

Use reverse babble.. Say "Why do you think that?". Don't be defensive when he accusses you. Look bewildered and have him ask specific questions why he thinks that. He will not know what to say.

Double post - sorry!

<small>[ March 06, 2005, 02:25 PM: Message edited by: Hurrian Hoosier ]</small>

Like what was said, they normally come up with different things to try & justify the horrible things they did. They don't want to take the blame - they may also tell other people stories.
Comes with the territory unfortunately!
Not doubt, this is their deal! Some people cannot accept that! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
It is human nature to rationalize for poor choices, no one likes to be seen as a fool. Some are much more inclined to shift the balme than others. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />
Hang in there!
HH

<small>[ March 06, 2005, 02:24 PM: Message edited by: Hurrian Hoosier ]</small>

Oh yeah, that's standard fog talk.

I've heard that on more than one occasion, my WH will even narrow it down for me and tell me just exactly who I'm dating LOL, I refuse to confirm or deny it, I just say things like "Married people aren't supposed to date are they?". That usually defuses him.

My counselor recommended that I try a "broken record" approach when my WH get's irrational, I should just say "None of this would be happening if you'd break up with OW".....and just repeat that over and over instead of feeding into his crazy talk. I haven't tried it yet, because there hasn't been any crazy talk...I'm sure I'll have my chance....I'm going to plan B shortly, and he HATES plan B.

-Caren

I just remembered that before "D-Day" I was suspious - - there were many signs, but one was when she suggested that she would like me more if I had an A! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

This stuff can defy what many would think is normal - there is no such thing as normal with this stuff! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

There are lots of resources here, please hang in there!
Peace,
HH

<small>[ March 07, 2005, 07:48 AM: Message edited by: Hurrian Hoosier ]</small>