WOW!!

Great letters....I've ready through them...and pulled out the three that fit best and will really concentrate on them and put this together...

WOW

I know this is the path to take...
Thank you SO MUCH for this Melody!!! I'll be back soon with my letter...

Another quick question- is it best handwritten or emailed?

Thanks!!

hmmmmmm, I think perhaps hand delivered on paper. You could type it on the computer or handwrite, whichever you prefer. Could you drop it in his mailbox?

I can hand deliver it...

Another quick question I have is this- we both attend the same church...for the past few months, since he has moved out especially...we attend but do not speak to one another...it has been his church home for 3 years and he runs the lights and sound...my 3 kids go there and do not want to switch churches or find somewhere else to go with me.

We never speak to one another at the church...but should I find somewhere else to go as well so that we don't SEE eachother?

Thanks...I feel like a total taker- but am new at this and appreciate your advice!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Jeepgirl:
<strong> but before I move to Plan B and take the final step and send him the letter and cut off all contact, I want to make sure I've read up on it so I know what I'm doing and how to handle it...(ie: what to do when he calls or emails, how to cut off converstations that are painful or start to be "friendly" and not just about kids"...is that what Plan B is?)

</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">JG, good questions!! Can you go to the bookstore and get Surviving an Affair by Willard Harley? If they don't have it there, you can order it off this website and it does cover Plan B. [they have fast, cheap shipping, too] It would be a good idea to have a good grasp on it before you go dark.

But basically, in Plan B, you have ZERO, and I mean ZERO contact with him unless it's an emergency. This is absolutely necessary in order for you to detach from him. It will also give him the opportunity to realize that you met certain needs of his, but he will not know this until you go dark.

So, no contact means no emails, no phone calls, no nothing. If he shows up at your house, you answer the door and tell him to please read your letter and respect your wish for no contact. Then shut the door. He will get the message.

And when he does manage to sneak through, you must sound like a broken letter: "have you met the conditions in my letter? If not, please do not contact me until you have." CLICK You are no longer his "friend," you are firm and very business-like.

As far as finances, visitations, etc, you will need to work out all those logistics beforehand. If you need to designate an intermediary, then I would get that set up. Your kids are probably old enough, though, that you might not need that. They could make arrangements with their dad on their own.

Have you thought about what conditions you would want to put in your letter? What would it take to make your marriage healthy? One that I can think of would be intensive counseling for him since he is a serial cheater. That coupled with a months long demonstration of faithful, clean behavior. I don't know, you will have to decide on what it will take. I wouldn't confuse him any more than 3 things, though. Just keep it as simple and basic as possible and if he does decide to comply, THEN you can work out the details.

And that brings me back to a previous post of mine. Please reread what I wrote about what you can expect frm him in Plan B and try and be prepared for any reaction frm him. He won't like it and will try ANYTHING to get you back in place.

Unfortunately, we are often SO DESPERATE and lonely that we will settle for ANYTHING they throw at us. BIG MISTAKE that always leads to even more heartbreak.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Jeepgirl:
<strong>
We never speak to one another at the church...but should I find somewhere else to go as well so that we don't SEE eachother?
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Definitely find another church, JG. Even though you don't speak to each other, it is still contact and will be very hard for you to detach if you see him.

Trust me on this. People who have been in Plan B for a while get pulled right back into a sick depression when they even hear the WS' voice on the answering machine or see their car. Those are some things you can't control, so its best to control the contacts that you CAN.

My Plan B Letter...I know it is long...but our situation is so wierd- first he cheated forever and ever...then I did this past year (he kept telling me to "go find someone go find someone" and moved out of our bedroom)

Please advise? Should I shorten it? Should I change the "demands"....he is the one wanting a divorce now (I think?) but not acting on it...

Let me know?

Thanks!!!

Dear J,

This is a difficult letter for me to write, one I have been mentally working on for weeks now. I have written this letter with the true love only a wife can have for a husband. Please read every word I have written, I know it is long, but it is from my heart.

I write to you today with sorrow, but also with a sense of peace and hope for my own future.

I love you with all my heart, and my commitment to you and our marriage was unending. I have always been so very proud of you, proud to have you as my husband, and proud of the man you were. You have always been a wonderful father to B, K and E, and I respect you more than you will ever know.

I regret that we find ourselves in this place that is lonely and confusing for both of us. The past 12 months have been so difficult for me, the most emotionally traumatic in my life, especially these past 7 that you have been away from our home, away from the kids and I, even more difficult I think- then right before we moved from Ohio.

I know and am not proud of many of the things I have said and done in anger this past year to hurt you as well. I am so sorry for those things. I would like to acknowledge and apologize for my part in the loss of our marriage. I neglected your needs, and failed to give you what you needed many times. I'm sure this helped create a voice in our marriage that allowed your affairs to happen in the past and that have helped create our separate lives today.

I have said this before, and I want to say it again: I want to do whatever I can to put our marriage back together in a way that we have never experienced before…a fresh start, focused on one another, laughing, loving, happy. I have done a lot of soul searching over the last several months and believe I have found the tools we need to make a marriage in which we are joyful, loving and supportive, one that can truly be blessed and healed by God.

I also have made many changes in my life over the last months. Some of these you have noticed, some you have not. Some you may never know. I must continue with my changes and have demonstrated to myself that it’s possible and they are permanent. I still have much work to do, but with every success I have, the hope for MY future brightens and I have confidence in my ability to make positive changes. My hope is that I will be able to share this bright new future with you. I so want to put the past behind us, and build a better life together for us and the family.

I want us to work together, and create our new marriage together. I want you to know that no matter how bad the past was, no matter how ugly, we can get past it. It is fixable. With God's help, our true healing can begin. If we look inside ourselves, we BOTH would see that the strength we would need to do this is there, and I hope that you would believe that the rewards for our efforts could truly be great.

As I continue to grow and trust in God, I also hear what you are saying to me with your actions and with your words. I see that you daily are separating yourself from me, with no feeling of obligation, and your choices do not align with what I believe God has in store for my life and my future. As my hope for my future increases, so does my sorrow over how easily I have been cast aside by you and I find my love for you dying. While that may be a relief to you due to your desire for divorce, I do not want my love for you to end. In order to preserve the love I have for you and to stop my brokenness from overwhelming me, I must remove you from my daily life. I will avoid seeing you, speaking with you on the phone or emailing you. I must give myself a fresh start in a happy, positive environment.

J, I have the greatest of confidence that we could have a wonderful marriage if we both committed to making it happen. I have learned so much these last few months and would like nothing better than to share it with you. Should there come a time when you feel you could commit to trying to build a new life with me, it is something that I would like to discuss with you. For me, a commitment toward working for a reconciliation would include:
1. An agreement for you to be in individual counseling
2. Willingness to discuss and follow through on reconciliation
3. Active openness on both of our parts in order to establish trust and rebuild a safe place where each of our needs can be met.
4. Specific time spent together weekly, set-aside, alone and focused on one another

This is not a punishment or an action of anger. I love you! This is a simply safeguard of my love so that if there should come a time in the future, when we can both commit to working on rebuilding our marriage, there is still love and hope left with which to do that.

I know I have attempted to withdraw from interaction with you in these past few months, but my hope and love for you have pulled me back….I cannot continue believing you will love me, or trying to control the situation…I am letting you go- freeing you so that you will find happiness, forgiving you so that I am at peace and also protecting my heart and love so that as I heal, and if you should decide to choose “us”…I could be prepared to work towards that end with you.

If you need to contact me regarding Bryce, Kaleb or Emily, or for any other matter, you can do so through via email, or on my cell phone VM. I ask that you please respect my decision to separate in this way. It is difficult for me and you know that I do not want to divorce, but I don’t see that our situation is being resolved in any other way. As I have said before…we are either walking towards something, or away from it. A marriage relationship is not something to sweep under the rug, and I need stability and a clear vision of my future to provide security for the kids and I.

I have decided my future, and I hope that you will take this time to figure out what you want. I can't control what you do, nor will I try to change you anymore. I can't do that and I accept that. I'm sorry if I hurt you because of it. I realize I have to take care of me now. I can only control me and change myself. Only you can control and change you, if you choose to. I am fixable, you are fixable, this is fixable.

I love you J. You will always be very special to me. You are the only person I have allowed myself to love so deeply. I loved you more than life itself while we were together, and I continue to do so as I write this. I look back through our life and I choose now to only remember the good times and learn from the bad. I forgive whatever pain you have caused and hope that in time you will forgive me too. I just cannot be with you or see you while you are still in love with another and feel the need to have a separate life without me.

You have always been, not only my husband and lover, but my best friend and I can't imagine who I'd rather spend the rest of my life with.

I Have Always Loved You,

S

Woops- I changed this part

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I just cannot be with you or see you while you are still in love with another and feel the need to have a separate life without me.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">To this:

I just cannot be with you or see you while you are still set on pursuing divorce, being involved with other women, and feel the need to have a separate life without me.

I don't really know if he is involved with anyone at the moment....

ok, I will read more tomorrow, and what I read did look good!, but I would be more clear in stipulating your conditions:

ok, lets look at this paragraph:

"delete this-----> As I continue to grow and trust in God, I also hear what you are saying to me with your actions and with your words. I see that you daily are separating yourself from me, with no feeling of obligation, and your choices do not align with what I believe God has in store for my life and my future. As my hope for my future increases, so does my sorrow over how easily I have been cast aside by you and I find my love for you dying. While that may be a relief to you due to your desire for divorce, I do not want my love for you to end. <----delete

Replace with:


"I feel my love eroding because of the current state of our marriage. In order to preserve what remaining love I have, I must ask that you not contact me. I would ask that you not call me, email me or come inside the house.

J, I have the greatest of confidence that we could have a wonderful marriage if we both committed to making it happen. I have learned so much these last few months and would like nothing better than to share it with you in the future.

But, until you have taken certain steps, I must end contact with you. Those certain steps would be:

1. Resolution of the underlying emotional problems that have led to your affairs. Specifically regular individual counseling

2. End contact with any/all affair partners with no contact letters - and willingness to prove faithfulness

After these conditions are met to my satisfaction, we could discuss reconcilation."

I don't think you need to make reconcilation a condition, because that is what he will have to WORK for by meeting the other conditions. See what I mean? Reconciliation is the GOAL, not a condition. And so is the divorce clause; if he decides to meet those conditions it would be assumed he would not pursue divorce. I wouldn't even mention divorce.

1 & 2 are huge conditions and they are the core for the recovery of your marriage.

I think this is a very good letter, JeepGirl. I would change the things above and I would try to make it shorter. If he is in a detached emotional state he won't have much patience for a long letter.

Here is another thing you might want to tweak:

"This is not a punishment or an action of anger; this is a simply safeguard of my love so that if there should come a time in the future, when we can both commit to working on rebuilding our marriage, there is still love and hope left with which to do that.

------> DELETE---->I know I have attempted to withdraw from interaction with you in these past few months, but my hope and love for you have pulled me back….I cannot continue believing you will love me, or trying to control the situation…<--------DELETE c I am letting you go- freeing you so that you will find happiness, ---->DELETE--->forgiving you so that I am at peace<---delete and also protecting my heart and love so that I heal, and if you should decide to choose “us”…I could be prepared to work towards that end with you.

condense entire paragraph to: I am letting you go- freeing you so that you will find happiness, and also protecting my heart and love so that I can heal.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">If you need to contact me regarding Bryce, Kaleb or Emily, or for any other matter, you can do so through via email, or on my cell phone VM.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This is very dangerous, JG. You don't even want him emailing or calling your cell phone except in the case of an emergency. What other ways can he comminucate with the children? See, you can't expect to communicate with him the same way you have in the past about daily goings on with the children. You have to bvasically assume the role of a REAL separated person and handle all those issues yourself. If there are some other things that involve the kids that absolutely HAVE to be discussed and can't be managed through the children, then they should be managed through a designated intermediary.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">and if you should decide to choose “us”…I could be prepared to work towards that end with you.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">nononono, it is if JEEP GIRL decides. You have made a choice and that is IF meets certain conditions to your satisfaction you will consider taking him back. Until then you are moving on with your life. You make all the choices now, not him.

Thank you Melody
I will make the changes you suggest
I'm heading to work momentarily, but wanted to acknowledge that I understand your explanations for them, and need to close the "Open ends", etc...

Do I word it the same as you suggest about the reconciliation part? He doesn't want it at all...It sounds like he will just be like "ok- cool- I want a divorce anyway- she is just making it easier"....

Oh well- maybe that is just my once again, worry!!

I'll make the changes, will shorten it and if you see any other suggestions, let me know? I'll repost before I give to him!!

Thanks and have a good day!!

Jeepgirl

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Jeepgirl:
[QB]

Do I word it the same as you suggest about the reconciliation part? He doesn't want it at all...It sounds like he will just be like "ok- cool- I want a divorce anyway- she is just making it easier"....</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No, I wouldn't put that part in at all. The message needs to be: I am taking back control of my life and moving on, IF you want to come with me, these are the things you must do.

As far as anticipating his reaction, you don't know what it will be. However, you do know what you will have if you do nothing and it is more of the same.

ok- one more quick one that I have to get to work (ha- I can't afford to get fired! LOL)

When I go into Plan B...does that mean that I also take control of filing for the divorce and just do it? The stipulations of Plan B also seem to lend themselves towars using a lawyer or mediation right?

I just want to make sure...I do have the Surviving an Affair book...should I give H a copy with the letter or is that pushing too much?

Thanks!!

Jeepgirl, I wouldn't bring up divorce at all.......at this point. You have lots of time to decide that.

But I would suggest seeing a lawyer about protecting your finances and arranging child support.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Jeepgirl:
<strong>

I just want to make sure...I do have the Surviving an Affair book...should I give H a copy with the letter or is that pushing too much?

Thanks!! </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">whoops, missed this question. No, I wouldn't give him the book. He is not interested in recovery at this point.

Thanks for all of the direction Melody!!
I'm going to tweak my letter tonight...this has been on my mind all day...and wouldn't you know it- haven't heard from him all day either!! Typical pattern...I am SO GLAD to be stepping out of it!!
I'll be back, I'm sure, with questions....and also with another revision of the letter
Thanks again!!
Jeepgirl

Revised Plan B Letter...
Better?
Also- before I give it...how do I work out the week to week schedule with the kids and the finances? My dad?

Thanks!

Dear J,

This is a difficult letter for me to write, one I have been mentally working on for weeks now. I have written this letter with the true love only a wife can have for a husband. Please read every word I have written, I know it is long, but it is from my heart.

I love you with all of my heart, and my commitment to you and our marriage was unending. I have always been so very proud of you, proud to have you as my husband, and proud of the man you were. You have always been a wonderful father to B, K and E, and I respect you more than you will ever know.

I regret that we find ourselves in this place that is lonely and confusing for both of us. The past 12 months have been so difficult for me, the most emotionally traumatic in my life, especially these past 7 that you have been away from our home, away from the kids and I, even more difficult I think- then right before we moved from Ohio.

I know and am not proud of many of the things I have said and done in anger this past year to hurt you as well. I am so sorry for those things. I would like to acknowledge and apologize for my part in the loss of our marriage. I neglected your needs, and failed to give you what you needed many times. I'm sure this helped create a voice in our marriage that allowed your affairs to happen in the past and that have helped create our separate lives today.

I have said this before, and I want to say it again: I want to do whatever I can to put our marriage back together in a way that we have never experienced before…a fresh start, focused on one another, laughing, loving, happy. I have done a lot of soul searching over the last several months and believe I have found the tools we need to make a marriage in which we are joyful, loving and supportive, one that can truly be blessed and healed by God.

I also have made many changes in my life over the last months. Some of these you have noticed, some you have not. Some you may never know. I must continue with my changes and have demonstrated to myself that it’s possible and they are permanent. I still have much work to do, but with every success I have, the hope for MY future brightens and I have confidence in my ability to make positive changes. My hope is that I will be able to share this bright new future with you. I so want to put the past behind us, and build a better life together for us and the family.

I want us to work together, and create our new marriage together. I want you to know that no matter how bad the past was, no matter how ugly, we can get past it. It is fixable. With God's help, our true healing can begin. If we look inside ourselves, we BOTH would see that the strength we would need to do this is there, and I hope that you would believe that the rewards for our efforts could truly be great.

I feel my love eroding because of the current state of our marriage. In order to preserve that remaining love I have, I must ask that you not contact me. I would ask that you not call me, email me or come inside the house.

J, I have the greatest of confidence that we could have a wonderful marriage if we both committed to making it happen. I have learned so much these last few months and would like nothing better than to share it with you in the future. But until you take certain steps, I must end contact with you.
Those certain steps would be:
1. Resolution of the underlying emotional problems that have led to your affairs. Specifically regular individual counseling
2. End contact with any/all affair partners with no contact letters- and willingness to prove faithfulness

After these conditions are met to my satisfaction, we could discuss reconciliation.

This is not a punishment or done with feelings of vindictiveness. This is a simply safeguard of my love so that if there should come a time in the future, when we can both commit to working on rebuilding our marriage, there is still love and hope left with which to do that.

I am letting you go- freeing you so that you will find happiness, forgiving you so that I am at peace and also protecting my heart and love so that I can heal.

In case of emergency regarding B, K or E please contact me through my dad. He can be reached at XXX-XXX-XXXX. I ask that you please respect my decision to separate in this way. It is difficult for me and you know that I do not want to divorce, but I don’t see that our situation is being resolved in any other way.

I have decided my future, and I hope that you will take this time to figure out what you want. I can't control what you do, nor will I try to change you anymore. I can't do that and I accept that. I'm sorry if I hurt you because of it. I realize I have to take care of me now. I can only control me and change myself. Only you can control and change you, if you choose to. I am fixable, you are fixable, this is fixable.

I love you J. You will always be very special to me. You are the only person I have allowed myself to love so deeply. I loved you more than life itself while we were together, and I continue to do so as I write this. I look back through our life and I choose now to only remember the good times and learn from the bad. I forgive whatever pain you have caused and hope that in time you will forgive me too. I just cannot be with you or see you while you are still set on pursuing divorce, being involved with other women, and feel the need to have a separate life without me.

You have always been, not only my husband and lover, but my best friend and I can't imagine who I'd rather spend the rest of my life with.

I Have Always Loved You,

S

JG, your finances will need to be separated. The week to week schedule will need to be set in advance [as part of Plan B, an attachment] or arranged through the children if they are old enough]

Can we cut the letter down a bit? You make good points, but I think they can be condensed into smaller paragraphs and still convey the same meaning. Here are my ideas for the paragraphs following your conditions, can you cut out at least 2 paragraphs in the section BEFORE the conditions? I am concerned that it is too long and may exceed his attention span.

Here are my suggestions to condense the following:

Change these paragraphs:

I have decided my future, and I hope that you will take this time to figure out what you want. I can't control what you do, nor will I try to change you anymore. I can't do that and I accept that. I'm sorry if I hurt you because of it. I realize I have to take care of me now. I can only control me and change myself. Only you can control and change you, if you choose to. I am fixable, you are fixable, this is fixable.

I love you J. You will always be very special to me. You are the only person I have allowed myself to love so deeply. I loved you more than life itself while we were together, and I continue to do so as I write this. I look back through our life and I choose now to only remember the good times and learn from the bad. I forgive whatever pain you have caused and hope that in time you will forgive me too. I just cannot be with you or see you while you are still set on pursuing divorce, being involved with other women, and feel the need to have a separate life without me.

You have always been, not only my husband and lover, but my best friend and I can't imagine who I'd rather spend the rest of my life with.

I Have Always Loved You,

Condense to:


"I have decided my future, and I hope that you will take this time to figure out what you want.

I love you J. You will always be very special to me. With all my love,

JeepGirl"

Great Edits...I took some out before the conditions too...LOL- is it any wonder that he wants out? hahaha- Am I LONG WINDED or WHAT? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Here is the shorter version:

Dear J,

I want you to know that I love you with all of my heart, and my commitment to you and our marriage was unending. I have always been so very proud of you, proud to have you as my husband, and proud of the man you were. You have always been a wonderful father to B, K and E, and I respect you more than you will ever know.

I regret that we find ourselves in this place that is lonely and confusing for both of us. The past 12 months have been so difficult for me, the most emotionally traumatic in my life, especially these past 7 that you have been away from our home, away from the kids and I, even more difficult I think- then right before we moved from Ohio.

I know and am not proud of many of the things I have said and done in anger this past year to hurt you as well. I am so sorry for those things. I would like to acknowledge and apologize for my part in the loss of our marriage. I neglected your needs, and failed to give you what you needed many times. I'm sure this helped create a voice in our marriage that allowed your affairs to happen in the past and that have helped create our separate lives today.

I have said this before, and I want to say it again: I want to do whatever I can to put our marriage back together in a way that we have never experienced before…a fresh start, focused on one another. I have done a lot of soul searching over the last several months and believe I have found the tools we need to make a marriage in which we are joyful, loving and supportive, one that can truly be blessed and healed by God.

I want us to work together to create a new marriage full of laughter and happiness. I want you to know that no matter how bad the past was, no matter how ugly, we can get past it. It is fixable. With God's help, our true healing can begin. If we look inside ourselves, we BOTH would see that the strength we would need to do this is there, and I hope that you would believe that the rewards for our efforts could truly be great.

I feel my love eroding because of the current state of our marriage. In order to preserve that remaining love I have, I must ask that you not contact me. I would ask that you not call me, email me or come inside the house.

J, I have the greatest of confidence that we could have a wonderful marriage if we both committed to making it happen. I have learned so much these last few months and would like nothing better than to share it with you in the future. But until you take certain steps, I must end contact with you.
Those certain steps would be:
1. Resolution of the underlying emotional problems that have led to your affairs. Specifically regular individual counseling
2. End contact with any/all affair partners with no contact letters- and willingness to prove faithfulness

After these conditions are met to my satisfaction, we could discuss reconciliation.

This is not a punishment or done with feelings of vindictiveness. This is a simply safeguard of my love so that if there should come a time in the future, when we can both commit to working on rebuilding our marriage, there is still love and hope left with which to do that.

I am letting you go- freeing you so that you will find happiness, forgiving you so that I am at peace and also protecting my heart and love so that I can heal.

In case of emergency regarding B, K or E please contact me through my dad. He can be reached at XXX-XXX-XXXX. I ask that you please respect my decision to separate in this way. It is difficult for me and you know that I do not want to divorce, but I don’t see that our situation is being resolved in any other way.

I have decided my future, and I hope that you will take this time to figure out what you want.

I love you J. You will always be very special to me.

With all my love,

S

Thanks for helping me with this....

I think that looks good! Have you thought about how you would handle finances and the week to week schedule?

Have you thought about how you would handle any effort on his part to contact you? Such as: he will probably call your house. He will probably just show up unannounced. It is good to think of contingency plans. For example, if he calls, you should let the kids answer it or let it roll to the answering machine.

If he shows up at the door, meet him at the door and tell him firmly that he is not to contact anymore, that you will send the kids out. Then shut the door. He will test you to see if you really mean it!

I was thinking of answering the door with nothing on and my meat cleaver in my hand!!!
hahaha

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Jeepgirl:
<strong> I was thinking of answering the door with nothing on and my meat cleaver in my hand!!!
hahaha

<img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">girl, I didn't know you were a Texan!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />