Hi. It is me with the H who is a truck driver. Who is denying still big time. My main evidence right now is the cell phone bill. He has talked with someone who apparently is *67 before she calls him. Therefore, no number. I would do anything to find out who this is, but because of the *67, I hear it is impossible.
Anyway, he says that he wants me to join him on the truck. Well, I gave my two week notice at work to do just that. This is a job I have had for over 6 years.
While I do not particularly want to go on the road, I feel that I have no choice.
Would you have done anything to avoid the pain or stop the affair ? Such as this ??
Some of these phone calls, all recent, have been over 100 minutes. He says there is a computer problem with the bill, we all know he is lying.

What to do ???

Car

More information - Both his cell and mine are both in my name. Therefore, I can see records for both bills online. I compare his minutes with mine and that is how I know he is not talking with me for those long phone calls. There have been quite a few of them. He has also been known to use phone cards, then I really can not track them.
He obviously is doing something wrong. I have susupected this for about 6 months. And, this is someone local, someone he met before going long haul. He only started being gone for a long time at a stretch about 4 months ago. Like he wanted to change his life or something, to get away like.
So, I called his bluff and quit my job on Thursday. I think he thought I would chicken out, he even wanted me to read the letter to him - which I did.
What to do ????

Thanks for any replies. I, too need help.

Carnation

Hi Carnation - I think it's good that you're going to go with him on the road... hopefully it will help either confirm or deny your fears regarding your H's activities...

I say follow through with this and see how he reacts... even if he IS seeing someone, this will give you a perfect opportunity to Plan-A him... Enjoy your time with him w/o try to question his every motive... if something is going on, you'll most likely find out about it... if nothing is going on, then this could be a time for you guys to recconect with each other!

Semper Fi,
RIF

RIF, thanks for replying. Yes, I feel it will be good for us. IF, I make it to go with him. He is not due home for two more weeks. And, these phone calls keep happening. (sorry, started two sentences with a preposition!!)
This secret life of his is driving me crazy. But I did quit my job like we discussed. It was almost like - well, if you don't believe me about these phone calls, just come with me on the truck and then you will know. Well, surprise, surprise - I quit my job.
The ball is in his court. Easy to say, I am still a nervous wreck over all this evidence. Needless to say, the people at work understood. Hard to pretend everything is normal when you are falling apart on a daily basis.
Thanks for replying.

Car

Carnation,

You are doing the right thing. You are fighting to save your marraige. Good luck!

Carnation,

I'm glad you are going to go too. You have a much better chance at saving your marriage on the road with your WH.

I guess I'll call him a WH instead of H even without proof. Because as we all know by now, where there is smoke there is fire.

I have worked with long haul drivers for 17 years, and I know what being away from home driving a truck can do to a married person.

You need to be with him, and you're marriage is more important than any job. You can always find a job again later if need be.

I hope you can keep in touch on the road, just in case you need to bounce some things off of the board. And so you have support if the A doesn't stop.

Maybe he wants you to come so it will stop. Maybe he doesn't want to go where he is headed.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Maybe he wants you to come so it will stop. Maybe he doesn't want to go where he is headed. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You read my mind.

Go, reconnect with your H. It's lonely out there, and he wants his W with him. Plan A the heck out of him !

Congrats on being so strong, and having the courage to make such a drastic decision, this will speak loudly to your H.

Wow!!!!!!!!!!

What a courageous thing to do!!!!! A huge leap in faith!!!!

Maybe everybody is right .... he wants to stop and wants your help. Go for it! He's giving you a huge opportunity that most BS don't get everyday .... exposure to him. He is allowing you into his world and this is a big step torwards intimacy (now, let's hope all this time together will be fruitful).

Good luck and God bless

Brown

Wow. thanks for the replies. Y'all made me cry, not too hard actually, being on this rollercoaster.
Everyone, other than my children, who want to have me committed almost, think I should go. I, too feel that this is the best thing for me to do at this time.
Weaver, you are a smart one. Thanks so very much for the wisdom. Yes, I may be saving him from himself. (he's a smart one, too)
I somehow feel validated now. And, that is all anyone ever asks, I guess. Thanks again so much.

P.S. I have been researching into a Notebook to take along on the truck. I called Dell and being on the road like this seems quite confusing. I guess I have to get a WAN card and have Sprint or someone activate it. It's always something. But I am hoping to be able to stay online, if not broke. thanks again.

Carnation