My WH will not tell me anything about the OW. I only know her first name. I have exposed the affair to several people, but I would like to confront the OW, just in case she is married or doesn't know he is married with children.

Do any of you have suggestions?

I should add, we have been separated about 1-1/2 months (he left). I don't think I could follow him without being caught.

What did some of you do to get info?

If you can afford it I suppose you could hire a PI.

Keep watching - especially when they think you aren't.

-AD

<small>[ March 08, 2005, 09:44 AM: Message edited by: AD ]</small>

If you can get a hold of her phone number, you can then do a 'reverse lookup' on the internet.

Bingo... name and address. First step.

For further steps, someone else will have to post.

dewt

Pebbles,

If you have exposed the A to other people surely there is someone who could help you follow him. Or you could rent a car so he would not recognize your vehicle...I figure that might be cheaper than a PI.

And Dewt is right..if you have a phone number you can do a reverse lookup on the internet. I can post the site if you need it.

The GPB tracker could work too...my son just purchased a brand new one. And if a 12 year old can figure out to work it... then you can too <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> He paid about $120 canadian for it. Again cheaper than a PI.

pebbles...

how did you find out her name..

how do they know each other...

are you plan Aing your behind on..

how much contact between the two..
when is he seeing the kids..how often

are you two talking about anything...

Ark

Pebbles,
all of the suggestions by the previous posters are good ones and can certainly yield the answers you seek. However, if for one reason or another, you cant make those work you can still be successful. The first mistake I made in my sitch, is that when I found the first inkling there was something going on, I went ballistic and confronted both WW and OM. Of course they lied, and continue to do so today despite the fact that I have proof. Its just part of the deal. My suggestion to you is to act as if you really dont care about finding anything out. Let them get into a comfort zone with their affair. I know, that is going to be tough to do, but you are going to have to do it to be successful. While acting as if you dont care, practice diligence in searching for your answers any way you can without them knowing. Following his vehicle is extremely risky and I dont suggest it. If you can somehow gain access to his cell phone records, you can find out a ton of info. Also check bank statements if you can. That can also give you info. Also, if you havent done so already, start journaling all of his actions that you are aware of, and then as you gather evidence you will have something to crossreference. As for the cell phone records, I believe that with a limited amount of information there are websites that can provide you with the records for around $150-200 / month. Put all of these strategies into place, and the affairees always get sloppy and make a mistake. You just have to be prepared for when they do, and trust me, they will. Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers. I have been where you are and now I hold the upper hand as WW and I head to divorce.

Pebbles-

Cell phone records are a SUPER way to start. If your WH hasn't registered his cell phone online yet, you can access it by setting up an account. All you need to know for most cell companies is the SS # and the billing zip code, and it doesn't cost anything if you do it that way. Then take the numbers you find and do the reverse look up thing.

You have to be STEALTH though. Being nice and caring to him, filling his EN's the best you can etc. While you are looking for information.

You have to be careful that he doesn't know you're researching all of this. I tried to follow my WH, and that only made him NOT take the stupid car when he went to her house. I was separated also.

I also placed a voice activated recorder on his phone line, this is illegal, and you probably don't really need to do it, I was trying to get proof of the A. It wouldn't be that useful if he's already admitting the A.

Start with the cell phone, the only one I can think of that gives you problems is Nextel, they want the number off of the phone...the chip number, sheesh, I have brainlock on what it's called, suffice to say you have to open the battery compartment to get the number.

I found out so much info on the OW it's scary, I know more about her than her Mama knows....so I could run out and steal her identity, but I won't, I'm just keeping it all in my arsenal.

-Caren

<small>[ March 08, 2005, 09:09 AM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

As some have already said. Don't let him know how you found out whatever you find out. Give him some rope to hang himself with (ugly metaphor, but you know what I mean). Don't blow it all on the first evidence, but keep collecting until you have a very solid case.

-AD

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by ark^^:
<strong> pebbles...

how did you find out her name..

how do they know each other...

are you plan Aing your behind on..

how much contact between the two..
when is he seeing the kids..how often

are you two talking about anything...

Ark </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks for the suggestions, everyone. I'm very low on cash, or I would do the cell phone record look up.

I received WH's auto proof of insurance cards in the mail today and there was a strange (to me) car on it. I have the VIN number. I also found out his cell phone number is registered to someone else's name (a woman - not same name as OW). He apparently has changed the passwords on many online resources that I could check (car insurance site, bank account). Not sure what else to do. All suggestions are appreciated.

To answer the questions quoted above:

I found out her first name from his brother (that's all the brother knows too).

WH said he met her through a friend at work.

Yes, I am implementing a Plan A. It's a bit difficult because we are separated, but I'm trying.

I have no idea how much contact WH and OW have.

He sees our children about once a week.

We are talking a few times a week, about financial issues and him visiting the kids. He did come fix my tires and brakes last week.

This is so scary and painful!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Pebbles:
I also found out his cell phone number is registered to someone else's name (a woman - not same name as OW).
[/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Since you got this womans name third hand how do you know it is her real name....your H may be giving out false information to throw people off.

Do you KNOW this woman the cell is registered too...

I think you should check her out.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Daisy37:
[/QB]</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Since you got this womans name third hand how do you know it is her real name....your H may be giving out false information to throw people off.

Do you KNOW this woman the cell is registered too...

I think you should check her out. [/QB][/QUOTE]
I would love to check her out! It's not a name that is familiar to me (assuming it's a real name). I tried an online directory search using the name, but didn't find anyone. It could be someone he works with. I'm pretty sure he doesn't work with OW.

I'm not cut out for the spy stuff. I'm just kicking myself for being so trusting!!

Pebbles,

Have you ever googled anyone...

http://www.google.ca/

Go to the Google search engine and type in this womans name. Read through the websites to see what pops up. Something might ring a bell.

Oh...and google your H too while you are at it.

Call phone information...give the womans name and ask for her number. Sometimes this will work even if you do not have an address. And if you get one then go on the internet for a reverse look up. You can do this for free.

If you want to know if this is a women he works with...go to a payphone (or block your number) tomorrow and call his place of work. Ask for her...see if she works there and then hang up.

Also type ``VIN numbers`` into the google search engine. There are websites for FREE online VIN number searches.

If you have a name then you will be able to find her. Start with these steps.

We are going to teach you how to be a spy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Let us know what you find.

<small>[ March 08, 2005, 08:25 PM: Message edited by: Daisy37 ]</small>

Pebbles-

What cell phone company does WH use???????

Go online to that cell phone company's website, and attempt to register your WH's cell phone online......if he doesn't have it set up online, you'll have no problem setting it up, AND IT'S FREE!!!! Even if he does have it registered, you still may be able to get in.....I'm sure you know all his personal info...just make sure they don't send the new *password* to the phone.

-Caren