need advice - in less than a month my WH and i and the kids and his entire family are supposed to go on a vacation together. It was a gift from his father.

My WH left the house 2/3/05 after telling me that he has been seeing another woman for a year and a half. He told me 2/28/04 he wan't happy anymore and wanted out. It would appear to be a big EA with "only 2 sleeping together" instances. HE knew her in college. The four weeks he had been out of the house I have been trying to do the best PLAN A i know how, but it is difficult. I shared with him all the plans for our youngest's birthday parties so he would feel welcome to attend, let him see the kids when ever he wants, etc. I have asked him when we will talk and he always says later, i need to think. He said he had to leave to "figure things out". He says he is having no contact with OW. She lives in another state.

My question is I have learned that he does not want me to go on this vacation with the family and that he will be telling me this sometime soon. What is the best "PLAN A" way to react to this? I want to go so we can be together as a family and also beacuse i am concerned for the safety of our kids 6/12/17/ with the ocean etc, No one else has children in the family and know that my WH will be spending some time with his dad fishing,etc. DO I demand to go? Say that this sends a strong signal to the kids if I dont go. Do I make him tell the kids that he is not letting me go? I don't want the kids to think that I don't want to be with them.
Any help would be appreciated!!

Jade,

I would explain to your H why you feel you should be able to go. If he still insists that you stay behind, then yes, I would make him explain it to the children while you are there, so they may ask any questions they may have.

While you want to be careful how much information you give to the children, it wouldn't be fair to allow them to think that you do not want to go with them.

Do you think your H is planning to have OW attend vacation?

(((Jade)))

Don't know if I'm helping at all.....but we're all here for you...

AVNL

Double post...

AVNL

<small>[ March 08, 2005, 12:45 PM: Message edited by: aVictimNoLonger ]</small>

Sorry, double post...

AVNL

<small>[ March 08, 2005, 12:44 PM: Message edited by: aVictimNoLonger ]</small>

I know that the OW is not going on the vacation. I know he will want us to say " you r mom and I have decided tathshe shouldn't go" I don't think I should have to do that. The kids need to know he is the one who doesn't want me to go.