David,

You posted to Caren:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">guys wanting others to see we landed the 'big one' </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Please don't tell me this is Trophy Wife Syndrome you are talking about.How else do you show other's how great you "have it made" if it's not just a visual? Communication and praise of the W you have are how this is conveyed IMO.

Would you like to know how this worked for ME?

I also have a bone to pick with Mortarman and a few things he said.

O

I didn't take it as 'trophy wife' syndrome - to me, it's the fact that I have the best partner in the world and everyone else just had to settle for next to that. Has to do with just being proud of the person I'm with - which was why it was so hard for me to see that my WW had changed - I pretty much worshipped the ground she walked on.

This is my own personal opinion - MM may have a different idea in mind.

To me the trophy wife syndrome is where the guy is showing off the fact that he scored with a supermodel, and all the other guy's tongues are hanging out drooling over her looks. That, I find, is disgusting and demeaning.

I want to be with a woman that I am so proud to be around that I'd stand and tell people about her if they'd listen

Let me know if that clears anything up, or if it still bothers you....I can always change my opinion - never too proud to know I can easily be wrong....

David

That's better.I was worried for a minute. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Well,all the time my WH and I were together,he complimented me to other's how beautiful I was,what a great mom,wife,smart,etc.Everyone used to tell me how he praised me up and down when I wasn't around and how proud he was of his family.When the shock of hearing how he cheated on me came out,no one could believe it because for years,all they had heard was how great he had it.He did,at one time,respect me,for all I did,my Nursing career,etc.So showing or being a woman that my WH respected was already there so how does that figure into how my H is NOW? That's what I was a little upset with in the post to caren.In a way,it made it sound like if I was X to my WH,he wouldn't have cheated.I do need to go back and reread the post again and maybe talk to MM.It just seemed to touch a nerve for some reason.

I have read Dr.Dobsons book and it's troubling to me because,as he states,marital discord results from a seething, seething, disrespect somewhere in the marriage and I do feel that somewhere along the way,my WH started to DISrespect me and I can't figure out for what? I am the same size,I look even better now than when I was younger and I still have all the same qualities and values.My WH found it better to be with a single,29 year old thong wearing, homewrecker who lived with her PARENTS! with no responsiilities and even admitted she had none! He found respect THERE not at home anymore.He even mentioned this(disrespect) several months ago in one of his crying spells while I was lying in my bed wrecked by his most recent display of hurt on our Wedding Anniversary and I dont know where it came from.

I know this was my WH's problem but I did not get an adequate answer to WHY in the book I read.I guess I may never know for sure but maybe that is not my journey.I didn't change,my WH did.

Ok.Sorry to worry you if I did but I had to clarify this.

O

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>I have read Dr.Dobsons book and it's troubling to me because,as he states,marital discord results from a seething, seething, disrespect somewhere in the marriage and I do feel that somewhere along the way,my WH started to DISrespect me and I can't figure out for what? I am the same size,I look even better now than when I was younger and I still have all the same qualities and values.My WH found it better to be with a single,29 year old thong wearing, homewrecker who lived with her PARENTS! with no responsiilities and even admitted she had none! He found respect THERE not at home anymore.He even mentioned this(disrespect) several months ago in one of his crying spells while I was lying in my bed wrecked by his most recent display of hurt on our Wedding Anniversary and I dont know where it came from.

I know this was my WH's problem but I did not get an adequate answer to WHY in the book I read.I guess I may never know for sure but maybe that is not my journey.I didn't change,my WH did.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree with you on that. Dobson simplifies things too much for me at times. My wife chaged too, although there was always resentment there in the background.....she is a perfectionist, I'm a little sloppy....she hated that, and never failed to let me know (=

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"><strong>Ok.Sorry to worry you if I did but I had to clarify this.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No problem....

<small>[ March 08, 2005, 04:48 PM: Message edited by: tanelornpete ]</small>