My FWW has had NC for over four months now, and since D-Day, 12/25/2004 has been very caring, honest and sorry for what she did. I always believed she was very sorry for what she did and fully believed she would never do it again.

Last night I came home and she was freaking out. She said it hit her how much she screwed up. She said she can't believe how much she lied, how she had this second life and how much she hurt me. She can't believe she liked the OM and everything she did with him.

She had just set up her online access for her cell phone and looked at all her calls during the affair and it hit her what she did. She says she has no idea why I would want to stay with her.

I guess this is good.

God Bless Her!

This is the most uplifting post I've read here in a long time!

Give her lots of love and assurance right now.
She's a mere mortal. There's nothing that God won't forgive IF there is true confession and regret. The hard part - the rare miracle - is for the WS to have the courage and honesty to accept responsibility and repent, rather than just wanting absolution or justification for what they did.

NOW she is in a position to make sure she never falls like that again.

What I wouldn't give to hear something like that from my WH!

I was very suprised. It showed me she fully understood what she did and how much she hurt me. Before last night she said she didn't hate the OM, but said she saw him for what he was and now hated him for it. She said she saw she was taken advantage of because of her depression and the way our marriage was.

I am very gratefull for what she said last night. I was satified with her actions and apologies after D-Day...but am now very happy that I made the choice to stay with her and work this out.

Hemi~

This is a huge revelation for a WS. She will need comfort. When this realization hit my H, he was devestated. I am so glad that I had the empathy to be able to truly hurt for him and be able to comfort him through the pain. I think my heart broke again at this point. But our R has been so much better since that point. It IS a good thing!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
Frags

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Last night I came home and she was freaking out. She said it hit her how much she screwed up. She said she can't believe how much she lied, how she had this second life and how much she hurt me. She can't believe she liked the OM and everything she did with him. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">So life is a bit different when the fog lifts! Kudos to W for accepting the reality and voicing to you how much she is sorry and loves you. Shame is working on her now and like fog, let it run its course. Mort and Frag offered excellent advice.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I guess this is good. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I sense a bit of hurt in you. Only natural and not surprised as any mention of A has a bite to it, even when it's a step in the right direction. This is a very positive step though so do your best to work through the hurtin and get down to some lovin! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

FR

This is excellent news! Now that she fully grasps the horror of her actions she can start to move towards recovery.

This is where you can shine - where you can be her knight! Let her cry, let her spill - she will feel safe which will enable her to get it all out and move on, with you!

Is she willing to post here? She might find comfort in the knowledge that there are other FWW's here who know exactly what she is going through.

I understand her hatred for her OM since I go through the same thing. In my mind true recovery is indifference towards the OP - when you care no more or no less than any other person on the street. I strive for that and I will make it. She will too! Hooray!!!