meremortal:
Thanks for sharing. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />
I hadn't read that article before.
And as always I pulled at least a few tid bits out that I found new and interesting.
(At this point and after reading sooooooo much, its tough to really find anything actually "eye opening").
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Let's face it most workplaces these days more closely resemble a junior high classroom than a professional environment. Practical jokes, dirty jokes, flirting, socializing are the 'norm'. And the complaining about spouses is similar to the way teens complain to each other about their 'restrictive' and 'demanding' parents IMHO. And just like in junior high the few mature ones who don't participate in these shenanigans, who are actually there to learn/work, are considered 'uncool'.
This will probably sound extreme but IMHO it's not only important for the adulterers to stop working together as part of no contact, but a change in workplace might also be needed if the workplace environment itself, general behavior of the rest of the coworkers, is conducive to adultery. Even if the one person your spouse was involved with leaves that workplace, if the flirting, inappropriate joking, sort of socializing that is commonplace there presents a risk, then your WS will need to find a safer work environment.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">As to your comments here, I think you are dead on in this assessment.
My W's A took place almost totally At Work with the man that ran the entire department.
He was very clever to create the atmosphere that was conducive to being able to construct his own personal "harem". (not only was he screwing my W, but also her friend and co worker....but neither of them knew of the other).
In fact, by being in charge of this environment....it was a Perfect "testing ground" to find out which of the women under his control were open to even being approached in the first place.
If they were, He took it to the next level and if they were Not he backed off and let it just be fun and joking at the office.
But back to your premise:
Yes, by this OM (as the Boss).....not only condoning, but promoting sexual jokes, sexual references, sexual stories and out right "flirting" (right out in the open).....it did definitely Grease the Wheels in his ultimate plan.
By keeping this type of "sexual energy" out in the open......it made it become "normal" and actually Expected on a daily basis.
As a result. Even the people who were NOT that comfortable went along with it, as to NOT be ostracized by the Others.
Any way, This was one of the reasons (the atmoshphere there) that even after the OM left the company my W worked at, she ended up leaving a couple of months later herself.
The stigma, her own personal "triggers" as well as just the overall atmosphere were the things that convinced her that she could No Longer effectively work there. (Not and be Happy as well).
(Cause even before her A....this place was a hostile working environment.) She admits that Now!
Too much sexual overtones to be considerd "Professional".
(Unfortunately, No One wanted to rock the boat). And look at the consequences.
She claims she knows the warning signs and won't be pulled in like that again.
Lets hope she right!
