Caren,
You know my story quite well. My WS has noticed changes in me and thinks I have a girlfriend. She sent me an email and said that it is ok and she only wants the best for me. Should I respond or should I just keep quiet?

PS. How are things going for you?

Keith-

Okay, she thinks you have a girlfriend, and she says it's okay, it's not okay, or she would have never brought it up.

Are you in Plan B? If you're not reply to it and say "Girlfriend? Why would you say that? Married People aren't supposed to date, are they? This would neither confirm or deny that you have a girlfriend.....gotta keep 'em guessing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

-Caren

P.S.-things for me are the about the same with regards to my WH, I feel great though <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ March 09, 2005, 07:59 AM: Message edited by: CarenMc ]</small>

Caren,

Glad you feel better. Keep forging ahead...

I think I am not going to respond to it. I want her to think about it and just wonder.

They all seem to want us to have OP -maybe it makes them feel we are like them or maybe it makes them jealous. Who is to know. I just know it is crazy with the ideas they seem to come up with.

I think they want us to see someone else so it justifies what they are doing. If my husband is seeing someone, then I can also.

Don't you find it amazing that the WS tells you so much about what they are doing without realizing it?

When I went out last weekend, my WW called me and said she wanted me to find someone and have sex with them. Of course I told her I'd do no such thing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Keith, I think you hit the nail on the head there, and also brouight up what I see as a potentially dangerous problem with your plan -

Your WW is going to see this as a golden opportunity to continue her A ..... "Hey, he's doing it, why shouldn't I?" OR she will use it to justify the fact that your marriage is in such shape that it doesn't matter.

I've thought a lot about your idea here, and I have to say that I feel very uncomfortable with it. The more thought I give it, the less I like it.

Why not use your new 'improvements' - the new clothes, getting in shape, etc., as a means of showing her what she is NOT getting, not what someone else IS getting.

On top of that - what if it DOES work, and she comes back....do you then tell her you were lying to her? Will she believe that? Will you have to prove your innocence as tho she was a BS? How will she take the fact that if you want to be open and honest with her, you 'tricked' her into coming back thru deciept?

JMHO

David

<small>[ March 09, 2005, 10:02 AM: Message edited by: tanelornpete ]</small>

Good point David.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by BHINWI:
<strong> I think they want us to see someone else so it justifies what they are doing. If my husband is seeing someone, then I can also.
</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Keith,

This makes a lot of sense and it may be a good reason to send her back a quick note before things degenerate further saying :

"I don't have a girlfriend. Married people don't date. We are still married."

Miker

Keith,

Two months after DDay,my WH told me that he wouldn't mind I went out with other men.I was flabbergasted.I just looked at him and told him that I would not make the same stupid(DJ,LB) mistake.That I was STILL married! Like the other's mentioned,if we went out and got new partners too,then the WS wouldn't feel as badly.Monkey see monkey do right? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

If you are in Plan A,I would babble back to your WW that although she feels that it's ok for YOU to have a girlfriend,you do not as you are still married.Something like that.If you are in Plan B,I would ignore the fogspeak.

O