I've been poking around in the internet and some places I get advice that says not to take this anymore. Now I'm a certainly a conflict avoider and it would be well out of character to let loose with such ultimatums. But I can't help but think I should assert myself and that maybe it would be the 'whack upside the head' she needs to get out of her fog.
I'm just so confused and want to get working on our relationship together and soon.
</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> Heres some advice I'm getting a lot of. I describes how I feel at the moment too.
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHE has to get over HER hate of YOU???????? Exactly where does she get off? She cheated on you and now she has to get over her hate of you? OMG, it would be laughable if it weren't so damn twisted.
First of all, she needs to get it through her head that she has NO, and I repeat NO - as in absolutely zero, zilch, nada - reason to hate you. She doesn't have the right and she isn't afforded that luxury. SHE is the "bad" guy here. SHE is the one who screwed up. SHE is the one who betrayed you, broke her wedding vows, etc etc.
IF she has any hope of getting back into your good graces, and that's a big if because it doesn't sound as if that is what she's after ( It sounds more like she's into controlling you and manipulating you, but let's deal with the hypothetical here.) then she has to be willing to give up all expectation of privacy, gravel at your feet regularly, and do whatever it is that you deem is necessary in order to prove to you that she is trustworthy and just plain worthy of your love and affection. PERIOD.
I'm sorry if I sound harsh. But she doesn't get to hate you. You violated her privacy? Oh, no >insert sarcasm<. Guess what? If she hadn't violated the marriage, you wouldn't have had to "spy" on her. Right? If she hadn't been doing something to arouse your suspicions, then you wouldn't have checked into things more thoroughly. Sure thing were going along great before - it's because she was getting everything she wanted out of life. She was having her cake and eating it too. How dare you mess that up for her?? >insert LOTS of sarcasm<. I mean, really, what were you thinking? That she should be, oh I don't know, HONEST and LOYAL??
Quite carrying this. Don't accept that she hates you. It's not right. Not even remotely. She isn't allowed. She isn't afforded the luxury of having any ill feelings towards you whatsoever. She hasn't earned that right. She screwed up. She has to own that and take responsibility for it. So far it sounds like the only thing she excels at is manipulation and the art of self gratification.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Would that be a love buster? Seriously I don't get why I am the villian.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
