WH-

I know that you've noticed a change in me in the last few weeks. I feel so much better, I don't feel I'm depressed any longer at all. I have really enjoyed our times together lately, we've been laughing and playing around, It's been a long time since we've done that.

However, knowing that I have been changing, for the better, I have decided that I deserve better. I deserve a man that only
wants me. I deserve a man who is interested in having a relationship with only me.

I have also gained the strength to know that I can do this on my own. Yes, I'm getting evicted, but I can find a place in my price range, which is going have to be some pretty low rent, and it's probably going to be in an area that isn't all that great, but that's okay, I can do it on my own. I am starting back to work soon , I am actively looking for another job, and I will most likely see if I can't pick up a few shifts here and there @ Ruby Tuesday for extra money.

I have no choice but to go to welfare and see what sort of benefits they can give me, maybe they can give me some food stamps and medicaid cards that would cover the medical expenses that my insurance does not. But this will also mean that they will probably begin a child support case against you. I am hoping that they may also be able to pay off the $500.00 that I owe to the college for dropping out of my last classes, I need to get back into those, even if it's only online classes, for now.

I love you Mark, you know that I do, but has become impossible for me to be your 2nd choice, therefore I must move on with my own life, without you.

I hope you understand, this is not a threat, this is not some ploy to control you, I'm giving you no ultimatum, I am simply stating that if you are not actively willing to work on our marriage, that I am going to find happiness for myself.

Love,

Caren

Caren it sounds like you are really ready to move on -I hope this is the case. It seems like you know what needs to be done to better your life. I hope you are doing this for you and your children. I think though that maybe you need to just do it. Of course you will need to let him know where you have moved for the children. I would not ask him for help in deciding where to move though. Or is this just to get his attention ? Let me know.

Caren, he is not going to listen to your words, so why bother? He will only understand your ACTIONS. So, stop talking, and do, and he will know. If he can't figure it out, he will ask, and you can explain it to him then.

Just as his words mean little to you, yours mean little to him. Do you want more words from him? Nope. You want action. That is also what he will know and understand to be YOUR truth ~ YOUR actions.

Spidey

Spidey-

I haven't actually given it to him, just wanted to bounce it off of you guys before I did <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I suppose it is just more words.......

-Caren

Caren,

I agree with Spidey. Why extend him one more olive branch when he is busy playing with another tree. These heartfelt letters tell him, regardless of what I say, " I am stilll deperate, clingy and can't make it without you".

Now that statement is not accurate so why send off those vibrations. Go back and reread Dr Dobson's article on tough love.

http://www.troubledwith.com/Web/gro...amp;sssct=Other%20Things%20to%20Consider

<small>[ March 09, 2005, 12:19 PM: Message edited by: Cymanca ]</small>

Caren, if you were my wife I'd dump you. Seriously.

You keep hanging and clinging on to him, if you were my wife I would think your a PITA. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

Right now he doesn't give a damn about you, just like my wife could give a damn about me.

Dr Dobson (Love must be Tough) says people drift because they lose respect for their spouse.

The only chance of getting your husband back is if he RESPECTS you. You have done Nothing to give him any reason you have changed. Your house is now cleaner, big deal. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

He needs to see LONG term changes, your husband will notice your smallest changes if they are consistent.

The only reason he even talks to you is because you Kiss his A$$ and have sex with him. HELLO!

I'll talk to you ALL day long if you satisfy my sexual needs. Can't you see he is using you?

I hope you're using Protection, something tells me your not.

If I knew for a fact my wife was having sex with OM I would never touch her nasty A$$ until she had an STD test, period.

Quit degrading yourself.

I wish I could have another girlfriend and my wife allowed it. Now I have 2 women to kiss my a$$ and to have SEX with. Every mans dream.

Quit BEGGING, your ticking me off, I can't even read your Posts anymore because you don't know when to STOP.

Right now he Loves the OW and doesn't Love you, Period.

Quit telling him your troubles, how much you miss him, and what is happening in your life.

I hope this was TOUGH TALK like Dr Dobson says. I would really like to get in your face and tell you what I really think, but I would be banned.

If you don't get your husband back then look in the mirror and blame yourself.

I'm almost looking forward to Plan B, I will not talk or see my wife PERIOD. None, Nada, Zilch, No Mas, Zero, etc...

If she doesn't try and contact me then I will know the Nail is in the Coffin like Dr Dobson says. Then I can get on with life and find my Hot Sexy girlfriend. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

What part of PLAN B don't you understand?

<small>[ March 09, 2005, 12:49 PM: Message edited by: TA ]</small>

Hey Caren, It is a nice letter. Write it out really nicely in your best calligraphy and then burn it. Give yourself some closure, which is what I see this letter is about. I'm sorry to say that your WH won't read a word of it. "That Caren," he'll say, "she just whine, whine, whines..."

Remember the rule of not telling them what we're going to do? File for welfare and let the government come after him for CS. When you move, he can hopefully see for himself that you live in a crappier part of town. Get your degree and send him a graduation announcement. Do not be available for SF. Do not depend on this creep for anything unless its court mandated.

You are moving on quite nicely. Who was it who said the opposite of love is indifference? I think you are going GREAT!

I agree with everyone else...he wont even read it probably! Probably read the first few lines then once he gets to the I need a man that...he will stop! Focus on YOU Caren...YOU, YOU and YOU! Stop obsessing over what he is doing!

Wow that is sad, you guys are harsh. I feel sorry for you Caren. I have followed your threads because your situation is so heart wrenching. You seem to get the short end of the stick all the time. It actually hurts me to read some of your post. You are too good for your WH. You seem so bent on letting him mistreat you. Why won't he help you with your financial problems... he doesn't care about you. You seem to be very smart yet you can't figure out he is using you. I really will pray for you and I wish you the very best.
God Bless you and your children
TMW