No Frozen, no 2x4 <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
Just a ponderance. I know the "shouldn"t have" stick get's thumped a lot. I was thinking more of the "why not" poking device.
Why shouldn't you have been living together..and how has this decision affected your present relationship.
See, in some instances..the sin/consequence relationship is quite unsubtle..and I have consistently seen the premarital sex/living together outcome to be among the MOST unsubtle of them all.
I was wondering what you think..when you consider that his relationship with you was
just as unhealthy and morally wrong as his relationship with her..that his sex with you was
just as sinfull..as immoral..and spiritually damaging.
His relationship with OW was not different..it was more of same.
Ouch, I know..and this was not intended to be a blow, not at all..yet it surely is offensive and hurtfull..because it is true and so..so ugly.
When you ask..how could you [Patriot]..yet refuse to answer for your own actions.
So Frozen..how could
you?
How could you betray your
own best interest? How could you choose to invite this sickness into your life? How could you expose your children to this and call it right? How could you be suprised when it blew up in your face?
When you answer that question..you also have your answer for how could
he.
The
same rationalization..the same denial..the same refusal to force his actions to face his beliefs.
I would guess as well..that some of your anger..some of your feelings of being trapped..lie here as well.
Trapped by your own sin, and mad as hell about it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
I can relate.
Did this lack of protective boundaries rob you both? Yes it probably did.
Did the sinfullness of your choice to live this way contribute to the problems you have today? Yes they probably do.
Did your choice to live in this way bind you to a man you might better have discarded? Very possibly.
So, now you are married, and you want to stay that way.
You say that you want counsel and advice for resolution.
This is my advice.
Accept that there was so much wrong with your premarital relationship..that it is difficult to find anything that was right.
That it was built on bad decisions, and frankly sin.
That this can not be rewritten.
Then..proactively choose to make your relationship with God
be the central force in your relationship in a way that it never before has been.
Ask for forgiveness if you haven't already.
Then stay the course. Apply the principles..that's a no brainer..but the relatonship you most need to protect is your relationship with God.
If God is in favor of your marriage, and you are in obediance to him..both in action and thought..you can not
help but succeed.
How much of your day is dedicated to seeking God and his will? Aligning your perspective with his?
If I may chance an estimate..I'd guess not much..your actions do not reflect it.
Rage, chaos, and obsession are not the fruit of the spirit. They are the fruit of the flesh.
You walked in flesh before..so did Patriot..with disasterous results. It makes logical sense..that what will most impact your recovery..is change. I think that this will make the difference that you ask for.
Frozen, I know this is an ideal. I know that you will fail at times. My posts are sometimes to full of venom and rage and spite that it is
obvious that I am a hypocrite. It doesn't make me wrong. It makes me weak.
Noodle
