yes Dying!!!!!!! Focus!!!!!


Do it!!! Join me.

cc

well
well??
well????

hope you are well

ark

Failing

Failed

Idiot

Sorry

WHY I DONT KNOW

Even if it is in my face why cant i do it.
I guess i deserve everything that comes my way.

Weak

WEAK

WEAKER

Do I believe him when he tells me again and again he loves only me he is not going back?

There are too many people on here that deserve your time i feel that i am no longer one of them i will come and see all the time it does help to read others posts, there has been such great advise. Everything about the site is true all the principals, ways and plans it has been my salvation.

Thank you for all your help you have made me stronger, my heart does not always feel so broken, and my mind sometimes sees the light be it ever so faint.

Right now i ride the beast into the valley of the flames.

Please stop wasting your energy and emotions talking yourself down. You are doing the best you can.

OK, now you have some of the best advisors out there posting to you. Gather yourself together--do you believe in God? Meditate, pray, center yourself, get to a calm quiet place. Now recognize the unique, wonderful core of yourself where you KNOW you will be OK no matter what happens. The core that doesn't want her D's to learn that this is how a M should be. Get organized, fake it til you make and DO PLAN B. Mimi, K and myself all know what the false recoveries are like, and they are terrible, painful and despairing. BUT having embraced the pain, the what is, accepting where you are in your M and where your H is, there is PEACE. There is resolve to do ALL that YOU can to get on track. YOur H is lost and you need to implement the tried and true techniques to help him.

For some strengh and a feeling of righteousness and courage read "Love Must Be Tough" by James Dobson. You must PLan B right away before he and OW can create more fantasy. Exposure and Plan B will bring reality crashing in on them and things will begin to change.

You CAN do this and many of us care for you and will help you.

Dying,

you are the only one who is in charge of your life and you make the choices.

If you are comfortable with the situation as it is, we will respect that. You can still post here and vent or whatever, at least I would like to know how your situation turns out.

Don't disappear.

cc

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">There are too many people on here that deserve your time i feel that i am no longer one of them i will come and see all the time it does help to read others posts, there has been such great advise. Everything about the site is true all the principals, ways and plans it has been my salvation.
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No one deserves my time more than you. YOU ARE ME A FEW YEARS AGO. I was more of a FOOL than you have ever been. I would be embarassed to tell you the some of the foolish mistakes that I made during all of this. I fell under the spell of my H. I fully understand what you are doing and what you are going through. Really I do.

At least come here to chat. I will not hit you with any 2x4s! If you don't come here, you will sink lower and lower and fall more and more under his spell! There are a few points that I really want you to listen to and think about!

YOU ARE AT THE POINT OF ENABLING HIS A: This is the point where your PLAN A has been effective. He is sitting on the fence and is enjoying the pleasure of having two women.

THE DANGER OF KEEPING THIS UP IS: He will fall more deeply "in love" with her. Do you hear me, DYING? Why? He is now more comfortable than he has ever been with his A. He will feel no pain. He has you, sitting there waiting for him. He is free to indulge in having fun with her without fear of being caught, without any guilt. He will fall deeper and deeper into his addiction!
I'm telling you from personal experience, DYING. It will be an awful place for you.

ADDITIONAL DANGER: I think this is a time where someone is at high risk for physical harm. It is just too emotional painful for all involved. You will want to hurt the OW. Your WH is desperate to hold onto his drug. She will feel threatened by you BECAUSE...

HE IS TELLING THE OW THE SAME THINGS THAT HE IS TELLING YOU: He is telling her that he is planning on leaving you in a matter of time. DYING, he is planning on doing nothing right now but enjoying himself for as long as possible!

The last point that I want to leave you with is this.

YOU DO NOT REALLY HAVE YOUR HUSBAND UNTIL HE IS TOTALLY RID OF THE OW. It may look like him, sound like him, smell like him but IT IS NOT HIM AND HE IS NOT YOURS!!

I'm sorry, DYING. Sad to say, I think, without PLAN B, you are destined to lose him. I know that's exactly what you are afraid of, losing him.

YOU HAVE ALREADY LOST HIM! HE IS GONE!

The goal is for him to come back. Think about at least working on a PLAN so that is an OPTION.

I'm saying these things as a person who has been in your exact same position, wanting to listen to and believe my H's lies to me.....

REMEMBER, I HAVE BEEN A BIGGER FOOL THAN YOU HAVE EVER BEEN!!!

BUMP

Hello et all

Anne6263 I am meditating and i do believe in God.

CC46 thank you for your kind words.

Mimi I DONT TRUST HIM.

I watch and listen to everything. His actions for these last 4 days have totally proved no contact.

But i have my Plan B letter in my bag ready.

Mimi thank you so much for your reply it does ground me and makes me aware that I will not be lead into a bubble where everything is fake.

The fog has lifted it seems to me lots of litle details show me this as well as NC.

Total NC is going to be hard to achieve even when she leaves as the professional community is very small and they will see each other at these times.

I am on guard, very much so. My love is locked away in a safe place so it does not get hurt again. When i feel safe i will perhaps let it out again.

He tells me again that he is not going back there no way he has moved mountains to get where he is now and he does not like that place where he was. What do i say to this. I have to let him pass the test as well as fail it right now.

So i watch his actions totally.

When will there be no physical contact with her except at the meeings?

Glad to see you are keeping in contact here. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

<small>[ March 14, 2005, 04:42 PM: Message edited by: mimi1254 ]</small>