Here is a short background. His affair started December 7, 2004. I discovered it Jan 29, 2005. She is in another country. He says it isn't sexual but he has a strong emotional connection to her. They talk about every day on the phone. He refuses to give her up. He thinks he will die if he does.
I called the counseling center here yesterday. I talked to Steve. Since we have no kids he doesn't necessarily recommnend plan B. I travel alot with my job. I managed to get 30 days off in April. I asked WS last night if we could spend some time on the weekends and nights just having fun, etc. He got real quiet and I think he is going to tell me that he doesn't want me in the house. How in the heck do you implement a plan A if you are not even in the same state? I feel like this is a waste of time today. We were talking on the phone just fine until I asked him that. Then conversation got forced. He wouldn't even tell me why he had reservations about us spending time together. All he would say is that he wanted to see how things went next week. (I am going to be with him next week) Now, he has had a habit in the past of putting off decisions simple because the answer was no......
What do I do now?

It's your home...

why do you need his permission to go home...go home....

ARK

Well, wouldn't that be a love buster... disregarding his preferences? We have 2 residences. He is wanting me to stay in the one that he is not occupying...

well wish..

the truth is you findig out about the OW is PROBABLY a love buster..

you not wanting him to contact his girlfriend is probably a love buster....

calling him names.
yelling
and doing things that break down communication those are love busters....

living with your husband is NOT a love buster and if he perceives you and he living together as one...that's just a little too bad...

you tell him that turning away from marital problems has never solved anything...and you will be going to live where he is...

get it... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

ARK

Ark, I got it. I wasn't thinking like that. I am new at all of this. I have the Surviving An Affair book and His Needs Her Needs book.
Just so you know, I think that he feels that I will put a cramp in his ability to call her whenever. Also, I don't think he looks at me as his recreational companion anymore. He plays golf, guitar and hockey with the "buds". So, spending time with me is on the backburner. Heck, who knows what he is thinking. I do believe he is temporarily insane though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Thanks for the clarification of love busters!