Hello,

I had a very bad trigger yesterday morning. I went to make our bed and check to see if my husband needed more coffee and he was shaving. On the sink was his cell phone. It was 6:40 a.m. and no one calls that early!

The reason it was a trigger is obvious, he would call OW and send text messages, even after swearing NC for a year. I started checking his cell phone when we were together (lived in different states for that year) and when I saw a text message being sent from her in 04/04, went quite berserk. Ever since then, he had practically slept with his phone until we were back together in 11/04, it eased up some. But when I saw that yesterday, it really got me down. To the point I was crying and couldn't get to work on time. He doesn't know what was wrong, only probably thinks it was him. I convinced myself yesterday that the A must be ongoing, I am incrediable stupid and naive to believe him, and that we should get a divorce.

Today, the sun is out and things don't seem so hopeless. My question are (1) is this normal or typical (2) did I over-react (3) if yes, how do others deal with this in such a way as to be able to function? I am the only one earning an income right now, my H started his own business and it hasn't really broke even yet, let alone made money.

Thanks much! I have to go, will check the board 2night.

I get it. My H's cell phone is a trigger for me too. Couple of incidents in the past, way early morning phone calls that he answered in the bathroom - No, you're not crazy.

Are you hoping to save your marriage and rebuild? Will he give you full access to his cell phone and the bill? Passwords, everything?

Really, I understand. Been on the Boards a loooong time, and the cell phone on the bathroom counter is still a trigger. (One of many.)