I jump on here when I have time to so I want to again apologize if it seems as though I am not listening.
I have heard and am soaking up everything eveyone is saying.
I don't know if any of you know this but I ended up having a final affair with another man after this was all said and done.
That was the final straw for empty.
I understand now that I stopped loving empty a very long time ago. What I have a hard time coping with is who and what I became during this process. I find myself wanting to plead temporary insanity. This has been a long road back for me. Getting out of the fog is one thing.
Finding who you are again is another. I am 35 and don't care to waste my time on fighting anymore.
I am taking steps to end things and yes I am going a little slowly. Empty is very angry and gets very ugly. I have to watch myself so that I am not sucked into what has gone on the past 6 years.

Lucidity,

I wish you every success in getting your life back together. You have some hard choices to make. Take courage and go forward.

I've sat here looking at these words and they look pretty thin to me. The only real message is that you are not alone in your struggles through life. There are people (not only here) who care - and who also struggle.

-AD

Stay away from romantic relationships for a good long time.

Really.

You are (apparently) one of those women who loses herself easily when involved with a man romantically.

The best way to discover the self is be independant for awhile.

Find out how you like your eggs cooked. (reference to movie The Runaway Bride)

Be by yourself and discover how to feel content with your own company.

It's a wonderful thing to discover.

Pep

I've been out most of the day. Just saw this. We wish the best of luck to you. We're here for you. When you're ready to see changes in your life, you'll make some changes in your life. And we're here to help.

Ditto what AD said. There's lots of folks here that are struggling too, and some of them who are making to the other side <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> . Take some time to read other posts - with an open heart and mind - and maybe you will find some answers that you are seeking.

I lost myself after my H's affair and going through my divorce...

even NOW I actually forget where I put myself almost everyone morning <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> ...

seriously, I lose myself in my BF's life and problems... and in my sister's alcoholism ....

but courage, reading the right books/materials, caring friends, MB, and prayer and God led me in the right direction... and continue to do so on a daily basis.

hang in there.
Faith1