Let's say - D-Day was a year ago - showed little remorse, refused IC,MC, actually went further away from M..though you are still living together - not in Plan A or B..Just in limbo..

All of a sudden - you see a slight change in how they speak to you, they actually asked to do something w/you rather than shut you out, actually called you a couple of times.

So they may be "coming out of the fog" - they may actually want to work on the M...

WHAT SHOULD A BS EXPECT?
WHAT SHOULD THEY DEMAND FROM THIS CHANGE?
HOW SHOULD BS TREAT WS - WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN WS FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS?

I know I shouldn't embrace or put too much merit in this slight change - I don't want to keep the wall up too high - but, I must protect myself from further damage. It's like one day he woke up and all this crap never happended..what about me, my feelings, etc. Does he think he can just waltz back into my life w/o talking about all this - without recommitting to the M?

It sounds as if he may be having a “Moment of Clarity” through the fog. Which could be a good or bad thing. If this moment of clarity is met with bitterness and anger then he’ll likely slip back into his little dream world. If it’s met with the right amount of acceptance and safety then it could present an opportunity for progression.

“””WHAT SHOULD THEY DEMAND FROM THIS CHANGE?”””

Let’s say for pretends that he is coming out of the “fog”, if he’s immediately hit with demands for change, he’s going to go back to what is comfortable for him which is running from this mess. If he see’s that the door is still slightly open he may slowly venture in. I’d expect he’s confused and hurt and ashamed but can’t lay that all out at once and deal with it. After being gone that long, it’s gonna be slow goin’ if there is a recovery there.

”””HOW SHOULD BS TREAT WS - WHEN THEY HAVE BEEN WS FOR ALMOST 2 YEARS?”””

Strategically…. If this is a chance for recovery then I believe that they ground work is going to have to laid with safety. I ain’t sayin’ you need to be a doormat or work a flawless Plan A, but there’s quite a bit of water over that bridge and it has to be slow and he’ll get flooded out. Once safe communication is established things can be dealt with slowly.

”””Does he think he can just waltz back into my life w/o talking about all this - without recommitting to the M?”””

Nope!!! He may hope that could happen but has to know it ain’t reality. And I do believe if the first thing he’s met with after peeking through the door is the frying pan then he’ll shut the door.

Lost - Thanks - That's pretty much what I thought - That I have to be open and accept/give back what he puts my way.

I just hope he isn't playing me..again..

I hope he isn't coming around becoz he heard (which isn't true) that I have a BF.

Can/Should I ask him what's w/this change? or just let it go for awhile? So if he's sincere.

Yes, I will have requirements should he not be "playing" me and I don't want to lay those requirements on the table until I'm sure he's done w/his A's..

But, when you see my other posts on the divorce board - you know where I am emotionally..I've been taking baby steps to move forward/let go and he has the power over me to pull me right back in. I don't want to feel that he's putting deposits in my LB when in fact it's all in "my head" and not in his heart...

God, I don't need all this confusion again...I'll never let go and do what's best for me if he keeps pulling me back in..This is hard and sad..