ok guys i need advice. i didnt get mukch help with my SF question. i've pretty much confirmed there was no activiy on the phone i think i was overreacting and overanalyzing again! but what ido know is that i need to stop that. but i keep telling my self thigns are suspoiuis when i probably shoudlnt.

like tongiht he was supposed to leave work at 10. so he usually calls b/4 he leaves b/c he has an hour drive. so he hadnt called at 1010 i called him he said i'll be leaving in 5 min i'm finsihing up stuff. we hung up.....
i automatically assume or start suspecting he was talking to her or is finishing up his converstation. or something fishy. when there is probalby nothing like that what so ever. or if there were i'd never have a way to find out for sure so why even worry and make myslef upset.

how do i just stop overanalyzing every detail whch causes me to be suspious...

I'll bet you don't want to hear this, but tonight I was questioning FWH about some suspicious behavior (porn habit, and CD's were opened, and DVD tray was left open)...and we're 2 years into recovery. I have to ask...or else it will eat at me...and then I say..."It just reminds me of the old days, I'm sorry it still bothers me, I have to ask though..."

So the answer to this is...be honest...and work it out together.

P.S. The CD's were opened 2 nights ago when DS and H were copying pictures for science project, and DVD was left open when he pulled the DVD out to return to rental store...

thats good that it worked out. my problem is i totally overanalyze every little detail to the point i'm paranoid everything he does is suspisous and then i start doubting everything. i dont know how this could be doen in a productive way

I guess my point to that was to show the paranoia doesn't completely go away, nor should it... Dr. Harley writes that we should not trust our S 100% (and they shouldn't trust us 100%).

Be honest with your H about your fears.

I had a heart to heart talk with FQH about a year into recovery about my fears, paranoias, jealousies, and asked him what he could do to protect my love for him. This was a tough conversation my CA H felt I was blaming him for my fears...but I had to calmly talk with him about my fears, how I had been fooled before and how I was afraid of being fooled again. I asked him what ideas he had about what he would do to help me...

POJA.

Hi Mylife. Remember me? I was posting to you last on March 2nd, the day i was moving. Well, my h's friends broke my monitor during the move, my dsl service isnt turned on yet, and im using a notebook & dial-up, I cant stand how slow the 2 things combined are.

I havent had a chance to read over your posts since i've been gone, but i hope you are doing o.k.?

michelle