Many of you are familiar with my sitch, cheating wife...separated....wife filed for D on 3/4. Anyway she filed on that date and the d*&^%ss legal secretary totally butchered my first name on the filing. So, on 3/7 my attorney informed them that they would have to refile it. On 3/8 her attorney told my atty that she would like to get this over with as quickly as possible and they would like a guarantee from us that we would not expose her and OM at workplace. My atty, told him that it was not necessarily our intent, but that we could not guarantee it would not happen as we work through the process. Well, I checked online today and they still have not refiled the case. I have been monitoring WW's email account and the last communication between her and OM indicated some stress and guilt and lack of trust in their relationship. WW still has not made any contact with me in accordance with the Plan B letter I sent her. Is all of this an indicator that she is having second thoughts about everything? Wondering if the fact that she hasnt contacted me is an indicator of withdrawal? I am thinking that this one messed up puppy right now.

I am sorry I am not up to speed with your stitch- however the first thought that came into mind when I read your post was- what do YOU want to see happen? what are you doing for you? Are you spending at least part of your energy on making you happy instead of worrying about what your cheating wife is doing? Please do not give her so much power. You are a wonderful person who deserves more out of life then what you are presently recieving. {{{{{{CrushedNTexas}}}}}}}}}}}

I had this great response for you ( in my opinion) and I lost it. To summerize I want to know what it is that YOU want. STOP giving your cheating wife so much of your time and energy!!!!! Spend time on you, what you want what you like- refind you, and then do not let her back in your life (if that is what is decided) with out meeting your requirements and do not settle for less at the thought that it will make you happy- it will for a short time, but the guilt will wear off for your wife and you will be no better off then you were before. I speak from experience. Please spend the time and energy on yourself and stop worrying so much about your WW, it is not worth it and I can tell you she is not doing the same in return. This is not a 2x4 it is just an insight as I was where you are now not to long ago- and here I sit now a year in to "recovery <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> " and the guilt has worn off and I see things no better.
I am not saying your wife is the same as my Husband I just really want you to satart to focus on YOU, find some inner happiness- it will drive your wife more crazy then ANYTHING else to see you happy with OUT her.

Best of luck.

okay now they are both magically there... anyway now you get to read them all......Opps <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

CNT,
Expose the affair! ($hit, why am I using euphemisms?!) Affair is such a civilized word for such an uncivil act of betrayal. Anyway, just do it! This is text book stuff.

Expose her cheating, lying @ss to every one that will listen! Do it in her work place, do it to friends and family, do it at your place of worship, and do it anywhere and everywhere and as often as you can. Put as much pressure on the "little soul mates" as you possibly can. Let's see how this "love for the ages" stands up to public scrutiny. Let’s see how much courage and integrity your WW really has when it comes to standing up for what she says, she believes in. Let’s see if she’s willing to stand up and proudly take ownership for her actions.

And if she wants a quick divorce so badly, inform her attorney that part of the deal has to include a public disclosure by your wife affirming her adultery to her community. Make part of the settlement a full page ad in every local newspaper in your community, in which she and her great love tell the world that what they have is more important then basic human kindness, honesty and decency.

Why are you screwing around with this? What is there to be afraid of? That she will leave you and want to divorce you? Just do it.

Coach

Thanks for the response. After re-reading my post, maybe I didnt make it clear enough. Her atty said she wanted to get it over as quickly as possible and yet she still hasnt refiled. If there was still such a hurry, why the delay?
As far as what I want, well, thats not really all that important as I have turned over the outcome of this to the Lord. Whatever his will is for me, I am willing to accept. Whats funny is that I have run into an old friend that I used to work with. She is now divorced and owns her own company. We always got along quite well when we worked together, but it was strictly professional. She now owns her own company that handles public relations and event management. She is coordinating an event here in town called the The Most Eligi-ball. It is a singles event that is the promotion of a radio station here in town. She really wants me to be in it and told me last night that I easily look 10 years younger than my age (44)and that she regards me as quite a prize. So, as she is quite attractive and saying that to me, I have a newfound confidence and am starting to think that maybe, just maybe, all of this could turn out to be quite positive. But like I said, whatever the Lord's will is, is what I will accept.

CNT,
Brother please take this in the positive spirit in which it’s intended.

Why don’t you cut the Good Lord some slack on this one? Don’t you think that just maybe, he/she has more important matters to deal with then having to worry about folks who aren’t doing there fair share to first solve there own problems?

Maybe what you should be thinking is that “I’m gonna do everything in my power to solve this thing on my own and I mean every thing! And then Lord, leave the final disposition of the matter in your hands with no complaint as to how you decide it has to be.”

What do you think?
Coach

Coach,
sorry I didnt provide more background to you on my sitch. I have exposed to family, friends, pastor. The only place that the exposure hasnt reached to is the workplace and that is going to likely happen very soon. My atty is going to have OM served at workplace for a deposition. One of my best friends is a process server and told me he will do it (for free) and will go through OM's supervisor to do it. My atty is going to take the deposition and then after the D is settled, he is going to file a lawsuit against OM for intentional infliction of emotional distress (tort law). The supporting causes of action for the the suit will be 1) interference with a marital relationship 2) conspiring to prevent a just and equitable division of community property. The exposure is going to happen. It is going to be done through legal channels. I have acquired some inside info that OM and WW are literally defecating themselves over what is going to happen to them. I am sure that it is affecting their A. The pot is simmering right now, full boil will be coming soon.

Good for you!!! Sounds like thigns are going to heat up real soon. Keep us posted.

CNT,
You have my most profound apology. You have obviously been taking care of business. Hope you invite me down TX when the "shootin" starts. I would love to see the little soul mates try to spin this one.

Good luck and keep the faith. I think you're going to be surprised one day by the reappearance of a repentant WW showing up at your door, with her newly extricated head from her butt, cleared of all fog and wanting to talk you about how things might be fixed!

Coach

Coach,
no apology necessary. I didnt include links to my previous threads with this thread. Yes, I have been very diligent in my research and plans. I have lived here in this city almost all my life and have extensive contacts as a result of my job. I am an executive with the professional baseball team here and I serve on several volunteer boards. One being the Police Athletic League. So, virtually anything I want to find out, I can call on my resources to help.
Whats interesting about your statement about WW eventually wanting to seek a reconciliation, is that your statement is exactly what my attorney predicted as well.
I have been spending my spare time the past week getting out and getting a life. Church, bible study, Chamber of Commerce mixers, dinners with friends, etc.. I was actually introduced to someone that predicted the same thing. However, she told me that if I decide to move on, I would be regarded as quite a prize in the community. I have another friend that told me its too bad that the D wont be final before 4/22, because she is coordinating and promoting a charity event called the Eligi-Ball. This event is the naming of the most eligible batchelors and batchelorettes in the community. So, I feel pretty good. Yes, I want my wife and my marriage back, but I know that if I dont get that opportunity my life is still going to be okay. I have an incredible support group in addition to the MB'ers on here. I have a ton of blessings in my life and just one whole, albeit a very large one. Just trying to focus on the blessings and be thankful.
You are welcome to come down to Texas when the shootin' starts. But be here early. I dont think it will last long. As my attorney says, we dont have a double barreled shotgun, but a double barreled cannon!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CrushedNTexas:
<strong>Is all of this an indicator that she is having second thoughts about everything? Wondering if the fact that she hasnt contacted me is an indicator of withdrawal? I am thinking that this one messed up puppy right now. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Your bottom line suspicion is probably a really safe bet.

As for what's going through her mind and what's driving her actions/inactions and what they mean? - refer to your bottom line conclusion. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> All unpredictable on a moment to moment to basis. We DO know what the long range trend > this affair is imploding.

Your case - with reliable info regarding the rocky interaction between the infidels - could be the current MB infidelity poster child for why BSs ought to mostly do nothing, especially in Plan B. Re-read Rule # 2 > the best way to hasten an affair's end is to not interfere with it. The distinctive feature in your case is the current combination of the legal sitch with your workplace exposure option in your hip pocket and a street wise attorney. Let all this play out by just watching. Load your cooler, pull out your lawn chair, and just watch the show. Hope you don't mind if I join you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hey Crushed, I was wondering what is going on with you. Sounds like you are doing pretty good considering your situation. I was contemplating filing the same charges against OM also. I am not sure that Texas law allows for that though. Would you be willing to answer a couple of questions offline? Would you email me. callocc2000@yahoo.com.
God Bless
TMW