Check out <A HREF="http://www.apa.org/journals/dev/dev3551283.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.apa.org/journals/dev/dev3551283.html</A> <BR>Kinda boring, but here is the article in Time magazine which breaks it down a bit. <A HREF="http://www.pathfinder.com:80/time/personal/19990927/family.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.pathfinder.com:80/time/personal/19990927/family.html</A> <P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A> <BR>

Interesting. But the question is -- when does marital satisfaction go back up (if it does)? If you 'stick it out' during these tough years, is there hope for the future?

more knowlege can never hurt.... thanks Chris for the info...<P>Appreciative, cozy

This study raises some serious questions for me about the longterm benefits of salvaging my marriage. If, as this study shows, that the overall satisfaction in a marriage wanes drastically over a ten year period, what do I have to look forward too?<P>Is it going to turn out like some sister/brother thing? Where you don't mind being in the same room with that person and thats about a deep as the relationship gets?<P>Does anyone out there know any happily married older couples? Say....55 and older? And when I say happy, I mean still having sex....with each other, still talking to each other....etc<P>Also, can anyone speak to how this fits in with MB's theories about "meeting needs"? What if the study is valid. Does that mean that the majority of us are NOT meeting the needs of our spouses (and vice versa) and therefore participating in marriages that are drastically, unhappy?<p>[This message has been edited by optimist (edited September 23, 1999).]

Geeezzz.... Now I feel like a statistic! Wouldn't ya know we hit the 7 year mark a couple of months ago. *sigh*<P>This made me think of the quote "Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."<P>B<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

That was interesting. Hard to read, but interesting. Seems to me it suggested the biggest mistake a married couple makes is to have children! We are doomed to decline in the quality of our marriages as the years go by, but children make is start drop all that much faster!<BR>I was glad to find the site, tho, as I have started a book. Never written one before, but I've started one none the less. May follow up on some of those studies to put force behind my suppositions.<P>The title? Life with a Traveling Man and How to Survive the Journey..<P>Or...<P>How to Clip his Wings before He flies too far.<P>Anyone interested in proofreading or adding suggestions feel free to let me know.<P>[This message has been edited by Pilot's wife (edited September 23, 1999).]<p>[This message has been edited by Pilot's wife (edited September 23, 1999).]

I think the MB principles go right along with the study. 50% of marriages end in divorce. Most of those are probably because they were not following these principles or some form of them. Also, there are probably more marriages out there that are not happy, but they at least don’t get divorced.<P>I don’t think that children are the biggest mistake in a marriage. It is how we handle our relationship with each other (spouses) when the children arrive. We need to give the children all the support & raise them as best we can, BUT the focus should remain on each other. It is too easy to jump for the children every time they whine & cry. We feel it is our duty to look after them first. But when that happens the marriage stagnates and look where lots & lots of couples end up.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A> <BR>

I was speaking to my counselor today and she asked me when the "spark" went out of our marriage. I thought about the time or first child was borne. My w has said she has been unhappy for 10 yrs. Our oldest is 12!<BR>The counselor said many of those she counsels have said the same thing. It seems we let the children take priority in our lives and forget about the spouse and end up growing apart which is what happened I think to my w and i.

I have to say it was the oppisite for me and I would bet anything, H.<P>We had somewhat a rocky first three years then I accidently got pregnant. We weren't thrilled, but H was supportive. We were planning on waiting a few more years. Wow, when daughter was born 13 years ago, our family bonded. We are fantastic parents together. We did, however, see ourselves more as a family unit that a couple with kids. I think we have corrected that. I think our third may have put a bit more stress on us...my H didn't seem as involved although he was the one who really wanted #3. She turned 4 yesterday.<P>This is interesting.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13